Inexperience

[longbardlary]

I'm young, and my girlfriend is young. She was the first girl to give me a blow job, and i was the first guy she had ever given one to, and as a result it didn't turn out to be as great as maybe we had expected. Actually it was somewhat painful and uncomfortable so that we ended up finishing it off with a hand job, which was also somewhat painful, but sexy just the same. The simple fact that she is willing to and seemed to enjoy getting me off is really hot, along with the whole situation in general. I guess i'll skip the awkward beating around the bush and say that i was really grateful and turned on, but it was painful just the same. I think she knew that it didn't turn out to great, and hope she isn't upset by that, also. We're in a really good, healthy relationship, so the dilemma wasn't at all awkward, but i don't really know how to suggest that she look for advice. Also i don't really know how to give her advice because i don't know what it is that would turn it into a good bj. The main problem was that i couldn't feel it in the right places, you know, that spot beneath the head that feels good when rubbed, but instead most of the action was on the head of my penis, which (for me at least) is sensitive in a bad way. I don't want to hurt her feelings in any way (as i'm sure all of you understand), but it would be nice to somehow get her to see some of the advice on websites like these. any suggestions?

As a side note, I'd like to return the favor, but she is uncomfortable in some way with her underparts and doesn't want to be touched. I'm respectful of that, and I don't want to pressure her into doing something she isn't ready for doing, but i don't think the problem is her being ready judging by what we've already done. I don't know if she's embarrassed, or self conscious, or if she thinks I'll think it's gross, but if anyone has any advice on how to make her more confidant when it comes to that, aside from me just trying to reassure her, it would be much appreciated.

I am young, and any advice, even if you think it's basic, would probably be helpful to me. Thanks in advance.

[pappyld04]

First welcome to the forum! I think your best approach would be to get her to join this forum! Both of you have a lot to learn about sex and I'll tell you I have seen no better place on the net than this one!

[Amylynn920]

I second Pappy's advice and my thoughts are good blow jobs come with practice. You need to keep the communication open and loving and feed back to her what you need. Nothing wrong with saying, "hon, lick me here" or whatever it is that makes it best for you. You and she are not mind readers. And if you learn to communicate early in the relationship what it is you both need, the better it will be.

[Smile4Me]

I'm completely in agreement with Iha here. Be a gentleman; being a pushy asshole is not going to get you anywhere (not that you didn't already know that!). The number one thing that is going to work in your favor here, and this is just my two sense, is that you stand apart from the wealth of other horny, inconsiderate young men and instill a a sense of trust in your lady. When she completely trusts you and feels as if you really want to please her and aren't just out to get your rox off, she will begin to loosen her feelings of insecurity with you. I think the number one thing on a young woman's mind when she's experimenting with sex for the first few times is that she will somehow displease her partner, so be very loving and sensitive in how you approach the topic of improving her methods.

As for the discomfort, what is it exactly that is making it uncomfortable for you? Like Iha mentioned, if it's scraping her teeth, she should wrap her lips around her teeth and focus on using the tongue to manipulate. A great method for avoiding any gag-reflex she may have is for her to stick her tongue out a little while she's going down. This allows her to control how deep it goes; she can train her reflexes to be less sensitive to that gagging sensation, but it takes some practice (tehehehe) I'm probably going to get lots of conflicting arguments, but I know when I was younger and less experienced, I always used a condom with oral, just because it allows the woman to get used to the movements without the threat of rawing bare skin or skimming with her teeth. While many men feels this lessens the sensitivity, it will also keep you from getting a dick-ache LOL. Obviously some flavored condoms are recommended for this, as there is nothing sexy about going down on a guy and getting a numbing spermacide in the mouth. I use the Durex brand flavored condoms, they taste good and have no after taste of spermacide.

Definitely communicate with your lady; be sensitive about it, but make sure she knows how eager you are to taste her and please her. Knowing how badly a man wants to taste you is extremely erotic, I think many ladies would agree!! Also, does she shave or wax? I speak for myself when I say shaving/waxing down there can make a woman feel more sensual, clean, and comfortable with her lady parts. If she hasn't shaved already, make sure she consults some tutorials on it, as the days preceeding a full on shave can be very uncomfortable if done wrong!

Anyway, I hope I've helped. Good luck!!

[pappyld04]

How old is the girl in this? I know you said young and I hope you understand why I ask?

[Tyger]

Wow, how did I miss this post?

Anyway, welcome to the forums. By all means, if she is over the age of 18, invite her to take a gander here on the forums. There's a lot of helpful tips, articles, & advice on here.

You say you're both young & inexperienced. So, the key here is for both of you to understand that you ARE inexperienced. The only way to get better, is to practice. Also, if something feels good, let your partner KNOW you like what they're doing. There are tactful ways of doing that. It sounds to me like she's a normal young adult, where she is still self-conscious about her body as well as her abilities. So, you can always just say "Mmmm, that's nice, I like that", or something like that. If you're not liking something, try moving her gently, or saying "oh, try this". Or, just kindly say, "No, I'm not liking that that much, let's try....."

Nobody believes me when they meet & get to know me, but, I do have a PHYSICALLY small mouth. It took me a lot of time, patience, and practice, to get to the point where my teeth didn't scrape my lover's cock. It also gets uncomfortable for me after a while, so I have learned to switch it up, from oral, to hand, back to oral, and using my hand WITH my mouth too. I can also do amazing things with the tongue too, but that too, took a lot of practice.

The more you practice with each other, and share your likes & dislikes, the better you'll be with each other, and the more enjoyable sex will be.

BEST WISHES!