I Need Advice!

[kristine]

ok, maybe someone can give me some ideas.

I am new to town and haven't met many people. I have met a cool guy that I enjoy hanging out with and he invites me to do things with him and I always have a good time. I don't find him attractive or interesting at all. I like hanging out with him and he is a good friend to have, but not romantically. The more we do stuff (go to bars, concerts, baseball games) I get the feeling that he thinks we are dating. I have dropped hints like saying things such as "Maybe there will be young single men there...." I haven't led him on or given him any false hope, but I think he likes me more than I like him. I don't want to hurt his feelings, how do I handle this situtation without coming across like I am using him?

Kristine

[Mikayla1]

Ok, here is what I have always done in this situation. I usually start pointing out girls to the guy while we are out places, like: "Hey, she is really cute, you should go talk to her" or "Hey, that girl was checking out your ass, maybe you should get her number."

Usually, if the guy is really into me, he will say something like, "Do you want me to ask another girl out." then I can say, "Well, we are just good friends, right? Why wouldn't I want you to find a nice girl."

or, if he doesn't say something, he would know where my head was at, without me having to say, "dude, I am just not into you that way" and having him feel used.

It works every time, I have never had a guy feel bad - that I know of!

Mikayla

[Tyger]

Mikala made a good point. What you're doing is good too. But, if there are ANY doubts, just come out and tell him something direct, like "I am so glad I have you as such a good friend, I would hate for anything to come between us." Or, even better (maybe) "You do realize that we're just friends, right? I love you as a friend, and hope that'e enough for you." Blunt, but to the point.

My Freaky Friend with Benifits was off and on about it all. He acted as though he wanted to go date, but if I looked at another guy, or had one that was definitely interested in me, he acted all wierd. When I did finally start truly "dating" he insisted on MEETING my dates!! We were roommates (with another girl he wound up with and they have a child now), so he made it sound like he was doing us a "favor" by being protective!!

Later on, when I finally moved out, I kept telling him that HE was the one that didn't want anyone to know we were sleeping together, and HE was the one that kept insisting there was no romantic attatchments, and that all of that was FINE by me, since I was divorcing at the time. HE was the wishy-washy "I want my cake and eat it too" guy!

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt!