Fear Of Loneliness

[RC4BLUE]

What is it with woman on dating sites? I get one sentence as a reply to a question. I get no info even after offering my own. Are these people just there to play games? It seems that no one is interested in anything more.

[Harpy6]

I have never done dating sites but I know people who have and it seems to me that most people play games on those sites. When they find someone who wants the real thing they will reel them in just to.have the satisfaction of knowing then made someone feel good even though they don't plan on following through with anything

[RC4BLUE]

It does seem that there is no payoff with the women I have talked to. When I suggest meeting I stop getting a response the vast majority of the time.

[deborah126]

RC, one of my college profs told us if you need a relationship it won't work. That made total sense to me. I have been where you are/were. I realize this post was a little over a year ago, but sometimes this rut we get in doesn't go away for a really long time. I've been lonely most of my life. My biggest desire was to be a wife and mom. I didn't have high aspirations, just wanted to make a home, a happy life. It never happened. I am a mom, apparently not a good one, she has little to do with me. If my own family can't tolerate me how can I ever hope to have the one thing I want so much? Why do you suppose some people just can't function socially? My siblings all managed nicely. I feel defective, unworthy, unlovable. I watch people every day and wonder why I am so different. It is a lonely way to live. Against my better judgement I recently became involved with a guy who I knew would never be mine. It was good for awhile but like everyone else he's not so interested anymore. Sometimes I feel so much like cashing in. What is there? Nothing. The holidays exacerbates the turmoil. Hopefully once we are in to the new year I can get my feet back on the ground and spend each day like the last. Counting the days till spring when I can throw myself in to the gardens and yard work. I love being outside in the warmth of the sun. I do hope things have gotten better for you since these postings.

[Tyger]

Meeting people without their own agenda and what they can get out of you with little to no effort on their part is very, very hard. It really does take a lot of time, effort, and a willingness to open up yourself to the possibilities of being hurt or used. It's very daunting, with the use of the internet, with the dating world.

I will give encouragement though. I met my now girlfriend, on a dating website for people with herpes, which was really nice to be able to have a connection, and not worry about being rejected on that alone. She's also my first girlfriend, me being more open to the possibilities of trying something new. We've been together now 14 months!!! We've had our issues, though they're pretty light actually. We talk, and are working hard on breaking our cycles what we use to do. I'm nothing like any of her other girlfriends, and she's nothing like my previous relationships, in more ways than just her being female.

It's worth the risk, though it's so very hard. There's hope, but sometimes it takes a longer time than what we want. The key is not to settle for less than what you know you deserve.

[12GAUGE]

On ‎12‎/‎16‎/‎2015 at 11:01 PM, deborah126 said:

RC, one of my college profs told us if you need a relationship it won't work. That made total sense to me. I have been where you are/were. I realize this post was a little over a year ago, but sometimes this rut we get in doesn't go away for a really long time. I've been lonely most of my life. My biggest desire was to be a wife and mom. I didn't have high aspirations, just wanted to make a home, a happy life. It never happened. I am a mom, apparently not a good one, she has little to do with me. If my own family can't tolerate me how can I ever hope to have the one thing I want so much? Why do you suppose some people just can't function socially? My siblings all managed nicely. I feel defective, unworthy, unlovable. I watch people every day and wonder why I am so different. It is a lonely way to live. Against my better judgement I recently became involved with a guy who I knew would never be mine. It was good for awhile but like everyone else he's not so interested anymore. Sometimes I feel so much like cashing in. What is there? Nothing. The holidays exacerbates the turmoil. Hopefully once we are in to the new year I can get my feet back on the ground and spend each day like the last. Counting the days till spring when I can throw myself in to the gardens and yard work. I love being outside in the warmth of the sun. I do hope things have gotten better for you since these postings.

Much of my life I felt just like Deborah126. I dint want a family tho. I did want a small piece of land and my own woman. One thing my gal mentioned to me early in our relationship was growing old alone and unloved. I was in the same boat up until last year on NYE. There was a NYE shindig coming up. I'd been to 1 or 2 previous blowouts at this same place so I made plans to go to the next party.

Sure am glad I did. Plus I am indeed fortunate I dint let a lil snow crimp my plans. I went for the whole thing Prime Rib supper live band dancing whole 9 yards. Turns out she had the same fears as me. She was the first gal I talked to at the bar when I got there. As the evening began and the live music kicked in we continued to talk. At one time she grabbed me and dragged me out to the dancefloor. I wish I could dance. Who remembers the Elaine (dances) episode on Seinfeld? Not quite as bad as that is me dancing. She wasn't having it so I did what I always did. Thumbs in my front pockets and just kinda faked it. She's OTOH a dancing fool. Not meant as a disparagement to her as she just LOVES to dance. As the evening wore on we slow danced some. It had been so long since I'd been that close to a woman I took several liberties with her expecting to be slapped. No slap came. When 0200 came I helped out with KP and general cleanup. As a member there (a private organization) they were glad for the help. It allowed me to spend more time with her. When I finally left around 0400 the roads were near empty. Dint see 5 rigs the half hour it took to get home and not a single copper. HUA. I called her 4 or 5 days later and we talked IIRC 6 hours that 1st time.

Since the night we met we have been a couple. Dint plan it that way just worked out that way. She's just basically the female version of me albeit a good bit smarter than me. I'm a Redneck and so is she. Stuff that bothers me bothers her as well. We both voted for the same man. Some of who I am is rubbing off on her in a good way. She's a good cook and thinks I'm sexy. I'm dying for sumpin to eat so it's MONGO Burrito time. Like Forrest said in that flick he did my new lady is my Jenny.  

Debora126 join an organization that's coed and has folks your own age. I joined the American Legion. I joined in 2013. It's mainly a veterans service organization. If you weren't a prior Service member but your dad or an uncle/aunt etc was you can join as an associate member. I'm glad I joined and gladder I went to a major Blowout last year on NYE. Good Luck finding your soul mate. Keep the faith.

[RC4BLUE]

12GAUGE, congratulations on finding a woman who finds you the target of her affection. It is nice to see you happy, more fulfilled and looking to the future with a smile. I am happy you have found someone a kinky as you and enjoys the same as you. It is magic when it occurs. May you live in that magic for a long time to come.

[H. Housewife]

I was friends with a unique guy  for over ten years and wished I knew how lonely and sad he was. I never knew until after his funeral his family spoke about that.