deborah126

RC, one of my college profs told us if you need a relationship it won't work. That made total sense to me. I have been where you are/were. I realize this post was a little over a year ago, but sometimes this rut we get in doesn't go away for a really long time. I've been lonely most of my life. My biggest desire was to be a wife and mom. I didn't have high aspirations, just wanted to make a home, a happy life. It never happened. I am a mom, apparently not a good one, she has little to do with me. If my own family can't tolerate me how can I ever hope to have the one thing I want so much? Why do you suppose some people just can't function socially? My siblings all managed nicely. I feel defective, unworthy, unlovable. I watch people every day and wonder why I am so different. It is a lonely way to live. Against my better judgement I recently became involved with a guy who I knew would never be mine. It was good for awhile but like everyone else he's not so interested anymore. Sometimes I feel so much like cashing in. What is there? Nothing. The holidays exacerbates the turmoil. Hopefully once we are in to the new year I can get my feet back on the ground and spend each day like the last. Counting the days till spring when I can throw myself in to the gardens and yard work. I love being outside in the warmth of the sun. I do hope things have gotten better for you since these postings.

Amazing...I don't even want to talk at this time much less about my day.

I found TT while searching for help for me. In my intro I talked about several experiences I'd had as a young teenager. We did not engage in sex, no petting (I know, hard to believe) it came purely out of nowhere other than kissing a lot, sure we were both worked up but never taking it any further. On three occasions I had full body orgasms, had no clue at that time what was happening to me. The last time I pushed him off the couch and withdrew. I was in over my head and just didn't know anything about anything. Fastforward to adulthood. I've never again experienced an orgasm, came close at times but as soon as i'd get there it would go away. During those years I was very old tradition and never said a word about what was happening or ever indicated what I liked or didn't like. Spent, wasted..way more years than you all could imagine being celibate. Recently that has changed...yeah for me. What has changed is having a partner who has given me the freedom to break out of my shell and totally get in to what is happening. He is aware of my lack of orgasms and has at times, I feel, feeling like he can't give it to me. I've tried setting that straight...it isn't his problem. I get so on the edge and he either switches things up..or stops. Yes, I've explained to him to pay attention to my body language...it will tell him what I cannot speak. When I am getting oral from him I go into space. I would have to describe it as being totally unable to speak or move. My brain absolutely goes to mush...I am very much aware of the intense pleasure but beyond that I am gone. I recently posted about this unaware of this thread. Glad I found this. What each of us need to remember is that our partners cannot know what we are feeling anymore than we can know what they are feeling. If only we could experience each others sensations it would be sooooo much easier to get it right.

most definitely young guys....listen to your woman. going in fast and furious does not make for a happy woman

I have a 3 speed g spot stimulator i got here on TT....was disappointed in this one.

Thank you Tyger for your response. I can't say I have ever had a g spot orgasm...I got a stimulator for that purpose...doesn't do anything. He was giving me superb oral at the time and that toy just ruined it...wa wa. Believe me, I was whining. He would love it if I would show him, I've just had a rough time getting there. It isn't a trust issue, it is me. He did sure did surprise me with it and I guess he still thinks thrusting is the optimal thing. negative. (I wanted to thrust it up his ass....not in a nice way either) It was so unpleasant I am really not so thrilled about trying it again any time soon. We had talked about hitting the g spot during oral....but not like that! I will try to show him...that will take some self talk. I so appreciate good input. Thanks again.

I am not a beginner per se...never used toys during sex till recently and never again. When you've got a hot, living, breathing man with you why need toys? He was giving me incredible oral and decided to use a vibe...it undid me. lost it, made him stop...it was awful. He was trying for the g spot to go along with his oral feast. what a disappointment that was. He was like "What?" I had no answer other than it wasn't working well at all. Those damned things will stay in the box for my own use from now on. it was that bad. I know everyone is different, we tried and it was a fail. I was so teetering on the edge and then it was like omg STOPPPP. Anyone else know what I am talking about, or am I the crazy one?

the young guys don't know that they don't know.

The big boys could teach the young ones a thing or two

you probably wouldn't believe how long I'd been without and I can tell you my sex drive was in high gear as soon as I started using it, somehow this wound up in the wrong thread :/

thanks for the comment...I couldn't communicate if I needed to! it feels like i have lost some control of me, that is something i don't give up easlily.

thank you! I've told him this..guess I should show him :/ and yes, after is IT

how do you explain to a man without ouching them that oral .. for me .. is superior to penetration? The question was posed to me recently "isn't my dick enough?" I wanted to say 'no, no it isn't.' I just said it is a different kind of pleasure. If I don't get oral I am left very frustrated and a bit grumpy. I am always happy to give a healthy bj. Am I being unreasonable?

I don't know if anyone else experiences this or not. Almost as soon as he starts my brain goes to mush. I get so lost in it I can barely speak. I know it is incredible and I can't stay in the here and now enough to communicate. Is this typical?

it means sleeping in a tent, cooking over a campfire, no running water, live off the land...kinda I'm not a glamping girl!

You covered a lot of the same things that I would have said. A nice hot soak in bubble bath. Candle light with a glass of wine, a look from across the room, def music, not just rain but thunder storms. Fresh sheets, a new nightgown (no flannel!) I love camping but, I prefer to rough camp and that makes a lot of the other things a bit difficult!

sounds like there is no emotional connection...

at least he gets it! truth

Question...did she have her orgasm? or at least had you already gone down on her?

I cannot imagine this would ruin everything you have... You just ask her, see what her response is..it may surprise you. If she has a thing about it then she should let you know that. I wouldn't push, but if it is something you really want she may be okay with that. Don't know that you can convince her if she were to have an aversion to it. What's the worse that can happen? I got my knickers in a twist because he wouldn't go down after sex..now, having given that some thought I really cannot ask him to do something he has a thing about anymore than he can expect me to do something I have a thing about..like staying away from my ass. I will never be 'convinced' about that. He doesn't make me feel bad about it, doesn't whine, he just knows that's a closed subject.

I guess because I never give it a thought I didn't think he would...I thought wrong and really need to be respectful of those things that he just doesn't like. Nuff said

absolutely..things got switched around and that's the end of that story.

my guy came during penetration, i then wanted him to go down on me...that was a big fat no. that didn't make for a happy ending.

I recently had a rather irritating experience. He ejaculated in me and wouldn't go down after. He got his....