Tyger

I hope she does better soon. Hon, I know it's hard, and I hope she doesn't get mad at me (when she gets better) for saying this, but, as someone who's had someone she cares about have to be admitted for a while, for their own good, darlin' if the counselor thinks that that's the best, and probably safest thing for her, then you should do it. Depression has many levels, and you don't know how far or deep she's gone since she's not telling you. I'd hate for something to happen, or for her to do something to herself, and have you regret not doing something. You brought in the counselor for his/her expertise, and advice, it's best to follow it for her to try and get better. Home doesn't seem to be helping. She's cutting herself off, and, especially this time of year, that's not a good thing at all. She won't want to go, most likely. She's wallowing in misery, and that's not healthy for her, or you. My fear is that she may be thinking suicide, and not speaking it, since she's not talking with anyone. Some people internalize things more, and cutting the ones that love them off makes it easier in their minds. I don't want to scare you, though, I'm pretty sure that this has probably crossed your mind. Think of what's best for HER. Having her home is comforting, since you know where she is, and can see her, but, it's not best for her. Please pass my love on to her. Best wishes to you both.

Oh, I totally agree. Those lubricated condoms don't have lube on them that last well at all!!

Very cute!!

Why not suggest to him that you would just LOVE for him to show the aggressive side of him once in a while. Tender is very nice, but there are ways of letting him know what you want without making him feel wussy. Tell him one of your fantasies, like being tied up, blindfolded, and under his control, or having him just take you from behind while you're showering or getting dressed. Sharing fantasies is suppose to be between people that care and trust (for) each other. Instead of saying "Gee, hon, I love how tender you are with me, BUT, I'd really like....." (It's the BUT that gets the critical tone to it.) How about "Hey, I would just LOVE for you to just ravish me one night, take me from behind/in the shower, and have your way with me!" I don't know too many men that would take offense to THAT!! Wear some "naughtier than nice" lingerie, like leather, vinyl, black lace, something with some chains, or something that looks more "tough" than frilly, if you get my meaning. Men take that kind of cue really well too!!!

Welcome to the site! First, never think that soap operas or porns are how people really switch sexual positions. It's not all graceful, romantic, & well coordinated. Bumping heads, untangling limbs, bodily noises, and sometimes laughing at the repositioning is common (or at least it should be)! If you're worried about asking, just huskily ask your BF to let you turn over, or just turn over and I'm sure he'll get the idea. Sex is adult play, and is suppose to be fun. If you're having sex with that person, you should be a bit more comfortable to be able to let him know what you want. If you want to see his face, well, might I suggest investing in some full length mirrors! Maybe one for the back of the bed, one on either side, and maybe even one for the ceiling! How fun is it to see all angles of you having sex with your man/woman?? OMG it's HOT!!! I dated this one guy that was sooooo fine to look at with clothes on, and totally amazing with his clothes OFF!! It was great to watch his rippling muscles flex with mine. OMG, is it getting hot in here........

Samma Bear, the best clit stimulator varies person to person. The most popular item that works, is very versitile, and is pretty inexpensive, is a bullet.

Congrats on finding the site. I hope you read up on all the info you're interested in and have fun posting too!! Feel free to ask any sort of question in the appropriate forums. If in doubt, ask in Everything Else. Welcome!

LMAO No, I am not Catholic by any means. Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar from it!

See what happens when you're not paying attention! LOL This toy is definitely worth spending the money on if it's not offered as a freebie again soon.

How cool!! I'm always skeptical of the strap on stuff like this. I had a golden butterfly that just didn't do a damn thing for me. LOL Glad to hear it worked well.

Do you prefer, as a general rule, a vibrating toy, or one that doesn't vibrate at all?

If divorce proceedings are in the works, as in he's filed papers to start the process, that's a good step. However, please be warned, that men and women going thru a divorce are use to being in a relationship. It's a comfort zone. No matter how long the marriage was, usually there was a relatively long courtship too (unless your Britney Spears' first husband LMAO). So, there's that comfort zone of being with someone, being use to that someone, and therefore, that person feels "safe". It's called a Rebound Relationship. I am not saying that he doesn't have feelings for you, because he may. I'm not there, and can't see it, so I'm just going by experience with others, and my own, personal experience getting a divorce. It's understandable that he keep the relationship on the DL for now. However, if y'all are still in a relationship when he divorces, he should introduce you to his friends and family soon. Not like he should announce that y'all have been seeing each other for quite a while, since that could also dig up the "other woman" feelings in some people, when, according to you, it's not true. What I personally found liberating, is dating for well over a year after my divorce, before I got into any kind of serious relationship whatsoever. I was able to have fun, see what was out there, and know what I wanted in a mate. As for kids, also depending on how old he is, and whether or not he has kids already, some people change their minds as they get older. I never thought I'd find someone I deemed responsible enough to have a child with. I am now the proud mother of an almost 5 yr old girl. I was 27 when I met her father, and, even up to that point, I still didn't know if I even WANTED a child. We had our daughter when I was 29. I knew that before then, I was too selfish with my time, and didn't want that kind of responsibilty at that time. Obviously, I changed my mind. He may do the same, especially if you stay together for a long time, and talk about it here and there. You don't want to keep bringing it up all the time, since he may be thinking that all you want him for his for his sperm. He needs some time to seperate himself from his soon-to-be ex wife, get use to the idea of courting again, and go from there. When you get divorced, you feel a sort of freedom from a lot of responsibility, and just want to have fun, not really taking a lot of seriousness in the future, like kids, another marriage, and so on. As relationships progress, that's when talks of the future really mean something. But, in all fairness, you can't expect him to talk about a future with you, while he's still, at least legally, bound to another woman. When people become closer, that's really when the talk of kids should come up. All this takes time, which, if you truly care for him, you need to figure out if you want to invest with him. Anyone can father a child, but do you want a sperm donor, or do you want a man that will also be a Daddy? If it's the latter, then give him time to get all this other stuff taken care of, and have some fun. Of course, you also need to keep in mind, that if he's older, and/or has children, he may not want to have anymore/at all. He has that right too. Give him some time to grow as a person, find himself as a single guy, get his life together, and allow him to have some fun with you. You're only 20. You shouldn't be worrying about kids right now anyway. I wouldn't stress about it, and if he starts too, tell him it's something best discussed in the future, when things calm down more for him. Best wishes.

What a wonderful way to let someone know you're on here!! LOL

It's been years since I've tried the regular KY. I did have the jelly stuff, which I found to be "gloopy" and messy. I was unimpressed with that just by the consistency.

Ya know when you're snuggling with your woman, she's in front, laying on her side, and you scoot up, and tuck yourself into her, and both yourlegs are bent a bit, but up against each other? That's spooning, and it's a very intimate way of making love, because you're touching each other in a more romantic way, IMO.

Good for you!! I'm sure you and your hubby are reaping the benefits! I've heard of many couples that have lost their sexual connection while going thru fertility treatments, because, during something like that, sex because mechanical, and a means to a baby, so it's more work than pleasure, which is really unfortunate. I'm so glad to read that you're trying to get reconnected for a happier marriage! Good luck with the fertility treatments, have fun, and happy playing!!

OK, I am well aware that Mikayla has written an article on lubes, but I wrote this a while before that one was posted, and want to share it with y'all. Great minds think alike! Lubrication Lubes, lubes, lubes! Let’s talk about lubes! Technically known as “Personal Lubricants”. What’s wrong with using a little lubrication for a more comfortable sexual encounter? More than once, I have heard men and women say that if they’re excited enough they shouldn’t need lubrication. Huh? I'm here to say that that's just NOT true. Everyone needs a little help now and again in every aspect in life, so why shouldn't the need (or want) for a lube be included in that too? Let me clarify what exactly lubrication is for. It’s for enhancing one’s sexual experience, aiding in any sort of insertion, whether it be a toy, or penis. And it helps the woman stay lubricated during long, hot, steamy hours of sex. Let’s face it ladies, we can’t stay lubed up all the time! We can dry out after some time. Plus, lubrication is a MUST HAVE when engaging in anal play. The more lube, the better. We don’t want tearing up there. Can you say OW? What’s the big deal? I mean, I love sex with my husband, don’t get me wrong, but lubes really help the parts stay lubed up, especially when we’re using condoms (part of our birth controlling, but that’s another topic all together!). And, the more lubed up I am, the longer we can go on, and on, and on, and on! I mean, friction burn on my Netherlands is not something I wish to experience, thank you very much. Does this mean my husband doesn’t excite me? Absolutely….NOT!! It just means that we can enjoy each other longer. So what’s wrong with that? Needing to use a personal lubricant doesn’t make your Significant Other a failure in exciting you. It means that, sometimes, like in everything in life, one needs a little extra help. And, when you want to use some lube, your partner should really be flattered that you want to keep up with them, and truly enjoy the lovemaking. WHAT’S OUT THERE? I love having a nice variety of lubes on hand at all times. Variety is the spice of life, in and out of the bedroom. You never know what kind of lube you may need! I mean, you have water-based lubes, silicone lubes, jelly, liquids, warming, flavored, the list goes on and on. And there are several brands to choose from as well. Each has their own benefits, and some even have drawbacks. Having at least 3 lubes handy is a must for any person’s “Toy Box”, in my honest opinion. Having a good selection of lube is a good idea if you have a lot of toys as well. There are some toys made of materials that are tacky, or a bit harder to insert without the use of some lube on them. Some lubes can’t be used with some toys. For example, we are famous here for saying “no silicone lubes with silicone toys or when using condoms” because they break down the silicone in those items. Water-based lubes are some of the most popular because they’re long-lasting, and usually hypo-allergenic. Plus, they can be used with pretty much every toy & condoms out there. They’re also easier to clean up, and usually don’t leave stains. Be sure to double check the packages of the items and lube that you use, to make sure that your toys & lubes are all compatible. There is usually some sort of warning if the lube breaks down certain materials. Plus, if you know of some sort of chemical you’re allergic too, it’s always good to check the packages, making sure they don’t contain anything you may be allergic too. Who wants a burning rash *down there*? Not I. My recommendation for trying a new personal lubricant, is to get a small, sample packet of it, if you can, try it out, and see if it works for you and your partner. Some people are allergic to some lubes. And, lubes can get expensive. So, why waste a ton of money on something you won’t be able to use? SOME LUBE NAMES We all know that most products come in a variety of ways, and by several different companies. Here are some brand name lubes: *WET *Aqua *Astroglide *Elbow Grease *K-Y *Eros (how appropriate, the god of lust) *Doc Johnson *ID Glide *Hustler *Juicy Lube *Penthouse *Probe *Swiss Navy *Kama Sutra *and, of course, TooTimid Pleasure Gel There are more out there, but some of these are the most popular, and widely used products on the market….so far. SPECIALTY LUBES It seems as though we, as humans, are always coming up more specific products for specific uses. Years ago, it was pretty much just “Personal Lubricant” stocked on store shelves. But, as people get more and more sexually adventurous, companies found a need and want for other lubricants that offered a bit more variety, fun, and slickness to their steamy sex lives! There are now warming, flavored, organic, oils, and lubes specifically designed for anal sex, such as Astroglide Shooters, Anal Blu, and Fruity Booty. HOW DO I USE LUBES? You apply lube directly on the penis and/or toy first, and then around the vaginal opening or anus, for added slickness. Use as much as you feel comfortable with, and don’t be afraid to re-apply as you need/want it. Applying lube can also be a sensual, sexy thing to do. Rubbing, massaging, applying, touching, and feeling, all great fore playing moves. When using condoms, do NOT put lube on the penis first, then the condom over that, since it will most likely allow the condom to slide right off, probably without anyone knowing until it’s too late. Put the lube on the condom that is over the penis. Remember to check to make sure your lube is compatible with the condom’s materials. Rest assured, that most lubes have instructions on how and what to do with your lube. Some directions are in great detail, and some with drawings to help show you the way. Always read the instructions and warnings BEFORE your tumbling in the sheets, just so you don’t have to stop and concentrate on reading something. I would recommend having a towel or some wet wipes nearby, so, after applying your lube, you can wipe your hands off. Some lubes are very, very slick, and would make it hard to touch or grip anything. And, if you’re like me, I don’t like anything sticky or slick on my hands. After everyone is satisfied and tired out, always wash your genitals after sex, or masturbation to wash the lube off. Some lubes, on some people, can create a slight odor afterwards, so it’s best to just wash it all off. Plus, it’s good for your own personal hygiene. WHAT THINGS SHOULD I AVOID USING AS LUBES? We’ve all heard the usual little tidbits of advice and jokes about using Vaseline (a.k.a. petroleum jelly), butter/margarine, vegetable/corn oil, lard (Crisco), soap, baby oil, hand lotion, and other things that are usually around the house. PLEASE do NOT use these items as lubricants for any sort of sexual encounter, including masturbation! These items are not meant to be on, around, or inside anyone’s private parts. They can harbor and promote bacteria to form, and then you can be in some uncomfortable trouble. They also can break down condoms and toys, making them weak, and breakage possible. This is not a good thing. Use only things designed specifically for internal use, please! WHERE DO YOU GET LUBE? So, you’re almost convinced that using personal lubricants are a good thing? Very good! But now, the question is, where does one go to get some lube? Most “Adult Stores” have those little sample packets you can try out, at a reasonable price. And they have a big selection of lubes there to choose from. Then, when you find one that really works for you, you can splurge and buy the big bottle. Pharmacies, and most chain retail stores carry personal lubricants as well. But, usually pharmacies and retail stores carry a very limited, basic selection of lubes. Such as Astroglide, Swiss Navy, K-Y, and their generic brands as well. TooTimid.com carries a large selection of lubes as well. More and more of the lubes are getting reviewed, so you can see what really worked well for someone. Try and get that kind of service at a retail store! Won’t happen. I hope that this article has cleared some myths up, and some apprehension. Get some lube, and have fun!

I think it's great that anyone finds this board, whether their partner knows or not. Some people simply can't understand a site like this. They think that we MUST be talking about sex in the DIRTY way. Because "normal" people don't sit down and discuss sex! I mean really! I say kuddos to those that find us, read, and try to make their sex lives that much more better! Of course, I always say that you should be honest, and I know for a fact that I'd rather have my hubby on this site than, say, cybering with others. (Though I'd get that chair right up beside him if he was looking at porn on here!! ) Thankfully, I have a hubby that is opening up more and more, and has always knows that I've been a member here. But, I am an open & brutally honest person too, so he wouldn't expect me to keep anything from him.

The last 3 relationships that I have had, including the marriage I'm in now, have all been with guys that I never would have thought I'd ever be with. The first of the 3, was with a guy I've known since I was 14, my FWB. I always swore that I knew him TOO well, which I do. But, we'd both gone thru hard break ups, and decided to have some fun, stress relieving sex. There really wasn't a true relationship, like we didn't tell people we were together or anything. The second one was with a guy that was 8 yrs my junior, and he was F-I-N-E!!! GQ type guy, and he was insatiable! I'd go to work the next day, sore, tired, but oh, so satisfied. He was more like a booty call too. Though, I never thought I'd be the "Booty Call Type". He was just toooooo hot for me, I thought. But, he made it known that he wanted me, so I had a huge ego boost there. My now hubby, I met, of all places, at a BAR!! His friend actually hit on me first, so I went on about 4 dates with him, but ended up ending that, and when I talked to my now hubby, saying that he probably wouldn't talk with me after i broke up with his friend, he actually asked me out. I was shocked, flattered, and I was shocked at myself when I said yes! He's a true blue, honest to goodness cowboy! I'm a city kid from the north, a Yankee!! I never thought I'd be here, in Texas, married to a cowboy, with our own horses, working dogs, and owning a pair of cowgirl boots that are FUNCTIONAL!!

So, is there one lube that you've tried, that just was a total let down? Why?

Thanks for the information. It's good to know that those tips are out there.

I have a friend that had a breast reduction, due to the pain it was causing her back and shoulders. Her surgeon told her that it was normal for many women to experience a reduction in their sensations when they have this surgery (as well as some with breast implants as well). If you're really concerned about it, I would call your surgeon and ask him/her if they've had other patients with this problem, and how long, if at all, would it take to the sensations to come back, is there a time limit, or is what you're feeling pretty much it. Each surgeon has their own techniques, with different results afterwards. Some nerves will grow back in time, others, they're pretty much disabled. So, call your surgeon and ask for a follow-up consultation with concerns. This should be free, where he/she's already done the work. If, at most, just the cost of a slight office visit, I would think. Again, each surgeon is different. As far as you're lack of coming when you're with your hubby, honey, read over the site. You are NOT alone. Many women, 85% (I personally believe more than this) need clit stimulation to get off. Some women have a more difficult time getting off with just penis/vaginal intercourse. The only thing I can tell people, with good authority, to learn from porn, is that there is NOTHING wrong with stroking your own clit, or having him stroke it while you're engaging in sex. I bet when you're using a vibrator, you pay more attention to your clit? Or, at the very least, you know how and where to stroke yourself with your vibrator. Why not show your husband HOW you like to be pet, licked, stroked, and touched? If you're worried about his ego, do it slowly, and gently. There are ways to do it so he learns, but thinks that he's discovered it. Or, if you have a hubby like mine, he will LOVE being directed on how, where, and pressure strength on how to get me to get MY O on! Don't think of yourself as ruined. You had breast reduction for a reason, and now you're having to learn how to adjust to your body and other sensations, even if it's been a year. Best wishes!

That was plain inconsiderate and selfish of him to do to you, and there was no need for him to say he was going to do it, then pass you over for a damn TV show! I'd tell him to either tape the damn show, or get Ti-Vo (however it's spelled). Men: NEVER EVER PASS UP SEX IN ANYWAY, WITH YOUR SO/WIFE FOR TV!!!!! I mean, really!!

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says, "Hello." He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "Oh no, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No. I'm your son's teacher."

Let me also chime in, that even in my "younger years", my BFs wouldn't always be hard upon me going down on them. They soon got hard. A few of them also said that they loved having my mouth give their cocks attention to get hard, so, no matter what the age, this is normal.