Tyger

Well, I've never seen an adult film without some sort of BJ, unless you're talking girl on girl stuff. If your husband has a fetish, then I would suggest looking for adult films with his fetish/preference theme in it.

Self-esteem is for YOU to build up. People can't do it for you. I have a fairly high self-esteem. Especially for what I went thru as a kid. It can happen. You have to be willing to focus on the positive. I was actually very quiet and reserved all thru grade school. I have no idea WHY, because I had a decent home life, even with divorced parents. I was never abused by either parent, though I was raped when I was 6. But I never dwelled on that. Kids would try to get something out of me in many types of ways. Being mean, of course, was one of them. I started getting a better self-esteem when I went to middle school (7, 8, and 9th grade). People weren't so mean. And, I got taller. When they started to try to get mean, I'd stare them down. Then, I moved to a totally new school system. One with kids I didn't grow up with, but some that I knew and were friends with. I decided that I wanted to be a different person, other that the quiet reserved one I'd always been. So, with some effort, I got myself out there, socializing, and so on. I did a total reversal! And I felt good about it. So, all that was just told to tell you it CAN happen, but it needs to be worked on. And, it will take a while to do so. With a lot of effort. Take compliments at face value, focus on positive things about yourself. Maybe one thing at a time, such as maybe you have great hair? Or gorgeous eyes? Focus on the positive aspects about yourself. A great sense of humor, great with animals, kids love you, things like that! Again, with the comment he made about it being any other woman in the world, and he'd still be just as disinterested is very insulting, and NOT something someone that loves you, TRULY loves you, would say. As far as us not recommending going on medications. Your BF has a lot on his shoulders, with school, work, and also taking care of you. Being "your medicine" is not only unhealthy for him, but you as well. You are not learning to cope the way you should. Medicines, though some side effects are hard to deal with, can be monitored and changed to get the desired effects. Using him as a pacifier puts undo pressure on the relationship. At least by how you have said it is. I wouldn't consider myself responsible if I DIDN'T suggest councelling and medications. Moving on would be scary, and it's being avoided by both parties here. You because, of course, you're scared. Him maybe cuz he doesn't want you to get hurt, or feel lost. Again, counselling would aide that. Nobody can move on here. It's like a personal prison. You both have options for solutions, but it's up to the both of you to turn that key & open the door. Good luck.

Honey, where is your self-esteem? Where is the belief that you too, deserve to love and BE loved? It's true, you can't go back to the past. You can never recapture something that really wasn't there to begin with, and why would you want to in this case? You are only 20. And, where I don't want to sound demeaning, cuz I'm not trying to be, but you are young. There should be NO rush into trying to find a life-mate. Having fun, dating, and just getting out there is all part of being young and single. Plus, this is the time you should be discovering who you want to be first, and what kind of man you want to be with, secondly. Does this mean you will be alone forever? Most certainly not. There is someone out there for everyone. Having fun and taking a journey thru life is the only real way to find them. And, there will be different people in different stages in your life that will be the one for you for that time. I mean, I SURE can't even imagine being with the same man I was with when I was 20! I am a lot more mature, and know that, although he was good for me at the time, he wasn't what I needed for a longer haul. Unfortunately, this man doesn't sound like he's in love with you. He may love you but not IN love, and yes, there's a difference. Like, I love my pets, but I'm not IN love with them. I love many of my friends, but I am not IN love with them. Make sense? The way you've worded it, he sounds as if he just has sex to placate you, since y'all are together, and he HAS to do it. Where's the fun in that??? Where is the real love, and the true connection? Nowhere, that's where. Sex shouldn't be a chore. Where the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship is where you fuck like rabbits for a while, it does taper off a bit after time. But, it should not die out completely. If he's as young as you are, he is either gay, or has some serious medical issues (is he on any medications that may kill his sex drive, like antidepressants?). Most guys in their 20's would give up an appendage to have a GF that wants to have sex all of the time. I say maybe he's gay, cuz of the lingerie comment. I mean, most guys, when you ask them what kind of lingerie, they'll say silky, lacy, leather, something like that. Not stress that it has to be LADIES. Duh. Lingerie is mostly for ladies. Especially when your GF is asking you what YOU LIKE, so you could wear it for him. Telling you that any woman in the world, beside you, could be there and he wouldn't be anymore interested also steers me towards the gay possibility. Plus, that is just rude and insulting. That is basically telling you that he doesn't really care if it's you he's having sex with, the girl down the street, or a hole in the wall. WTF? That's not right. Why are you still WITH this man that obviously can't even take care of himself emotionally, let alone help YOU either? Occassionally he hugs you when you're upset? Unless I tell my hubby that I want to be left alone, and truly mean it, when I cry, his arms better be around me, lemme tell ya!! Not only is that what you do with someone you care about (whether it be your SO, or a friend), it's the humane thing to do!!! Unfortunately, from what you have written, there is nothing you can do to make him interested. Just by his comments, he seems to care less whether or not you're there. That isn't a way to live. You are a convenience for him. He is security for you. It's time to move on, IMO. Again, you are young. Young people tend to want things YESTERDAY. Something worth while may take a while to achieve. Take some time, date, don't feel like you have to commit to anyone. Learn more about yourself, and more about who you WANT to be, and how you want to be treated. It takes time. I found my husband at 28 years old. We've been married for 5 yrs now! My mother didn't find her true love until she was in her early 50's. But she didn't stay home moping either. After she divorced my father, she dated, had relationships, turned down marriage proposals, and had fun. She wanted to be with the man she really wanted to be with. She wasn't about to settle. And, neither should you. Best wishes! You deserve better, so go out and find something better.

Personally, I've never tried any clit jewelry, so I'm not really sure. I'm always improvising and using things that aren't normally used for what they are designed for (so long as it's safe). Maybe try some nipple rings (non-piercing) and try those out?

Welcome & have fun!!

Have fun!!!

I read 2 of those books in that series!!! Yay!! I thought it had something to do with Vampires, but I couldn't pin it down (especially since what I read for pleasure usually is some sort of vampire novel!!). Welcome and have a great time here!!

You may already know this, but, if he is on a treatment plan for depression, under a doctor's care, that includes medications, that right there may be the problem. I'm sure stress and hating his job is part of it. But anti-depressants are INFAMOUS for killing sex drives. He simply may NOT want it due to the medications. There is a hard balancing act when treating depression with medication. Finding somethint that truly works for someone is hard enough. Then, if/when you find a medication that works, it may kill your sex drive! What??? How unfair is that!!! Have him speak with his doctor. He may be able to handle a lower dosage, or find a similar medication that has a lower effect on his sex drive. Good luck and best wishes!!

This is a possible fantasy to fullfill without the use of another man in the bedroom. Either with toys, watching her masturbate using another sex toy. Using a camcorder, to record your lovemaking, and then watching it. From that angle, it almost seems as if you're watching someone else Role play by pretending your someone else. Use of mirrors strategically placed around the area where you're going to have sex, and watching yourself have sex with your SO. Or, if you want to invest, and she is up for it, the use of a male sex doll. The majority of relationships simply cannont withstand the aftermath of having another person in the bedroom. It's just not able to be done. The questions and self-doubt eat at you and can destroy the relationship. Having a fantasy is fine. Fullfilling it, and living with what happens afterward can be totally different than what you had thought it'd be.

To post a pic on the site from the site, I recommend you opening up 2 windows on your browser, both on TooTimid (that way, there's no waiting for the site to upload 3-4 times to go back and forth with). Find the item you want to post the pic of, right mouse click on it, getting the Properties box open, go to where it says Address, and copy the entire http/, making sure you get all of the lines, and the file extension (.jpg). Copy that, then come back to where you're going to make the post, and up above where you type in your post, there are a few boxes to the right of the smiley selector. The first one is where you would select to post the LINK to the item. The second box, with a little landscape type pic, is where you would put the IMAGE. Click on the INSERT AN IMAGE icon, and paste the copied URL into that space. Be sure to preview the post, to make sure the IMAGE gets put in there correctly. I hope this helps!

Mikayla just did a review on these recently. Where most ben-wah or orgasm balls don't actually vibrate, they do have metal gong-like balls inside of them, to add extra stimulation to the balls inside of you. Mikayla's Review I also did a review on some Pleasure balls, which are similar to these as well: Tyger's Pleasure Balls Review I hope these are more helpful to you.

This just hit me....MUSICAL MASTURBATION!!!

First off, welcome to the forum! I hope you have fun reading & learning & contributing!! As far as the sex toys, BRING THEM OUT OF HIDING!! Introduce them to your hubby, let him see them. Allow him to share in the fun! Even if he doesn't want to use them, he is still aware of them. Being open and honest about your desires are extremely important! There's also the whole trust aspect of it all as well. So, good luck, and I hope you have fun. I look forward to seeing some posts!!

It takes a long time to get desensitized to anything. Usually, areas start to go numb first, and that's due to the vibes being in one area. However, if you are truly concerned, and are opting for masturbation instead of having real life sex, then I would back off. However, practice makes perfect, and you are learning fast how to pleasure yourself. Nothing wrong with that!!!The more you learn about yourself, it usually makes it easier to cum faster and easier as well!

As far as birth control, you need to go to a doctor, or NP, like at a FamilyPlanning clinic. They can help guide you to the type of birth control that will be best for your needs. All forms have some sort of side-effects listed. But, not everyone experiences them. Hence why they say "possible side-effects". Since I was 16, I was on several different types of pills, and never had a problem with weight gain. But, I was very young and very active too. This is a big factor in weight gain. I had to switch every so often because some hormone would build up in my system, giving me some slight medical issues (such as migraines) that I hadn't experienced previously. When on any sort of birth control, do so under the careful advise of your doctor. Make sure you learn all about the form of birth control you are on, or would like to be on, and tell your doctor. S/he can help decide if that one is right for you and your body chemistry.

What I am reading here is, at best, half-a##ed attempts to communicate with kids at 14 about sex, but still protect the parent from being embarrassed if someone learns that their kid has an external vibrator. I was hoping that you would pick up on Mikayla's comments about kids making do with all kinds of items, or comments from others here about buying vibrators at Spensers, in most of the malls, where there is no age restriction. If you are one of the folks here who have declared, before the issue is ever raise in your own family, that you would " NEVER" give your 14 year old daughter a vibrator, I think you need to rethink what the parenting process is all about. ~Howard (editted of course) I read your entire long-winded answer, and I say ENOUGH!! If you choose to be insulting to parents because of our opinions on what we will be teaching our children, then you, sir, are out of line. Personally, I think you should rethink many of your opinions. You reallly should admit that there are SOME things you just DON'T know. There is nothing wrong with that. Never once was I insulting to you, or any other people that have either been unable to have kids, or have chosen not to do so. The last paragraph that I have quoted, you have been insulting to parents that think differently than you. By your posts, you have seemingly refused to see that there is an opinion other than your own. Which, as a teacher myself, and coming from an entire family of teachers, you have done the title of Teacher a disservice. Being a teacher in any way, also means that you truly listen/read, and try to see things from different angles, besides your own. I am thru with this thread.

Well, I had my first time with him on top. He had some experience, and listened to what I said. He went slow and easy. After a while, I got tired of acting like I was going toYou should discuss this with your BF before anything happens. Make sure that no matter what position you choose, he knows that if you say "back off a bit" that he really does. He'll be able to feel pressure, but not the discomfort. There will be slight discomfort, but not outrageous pain. But, using lube, and, of course, condoms, are great ideas for any of your sexual exploits. The woman's vagina is made to stretch. My first was only about 6" long. However, being inexperienced, of course he felt huge. With a condom, though I ALWAYS promote the use of, he won't be able to feel as much as he would going without one, so make sure he knows how you're feeling.

OMG!! Glenn!! I LOVE Spencers!! And I had the blue spermy keychain!! LMAO!! In fact, I got my REAL Lava Lamp there a few weeks ago! I think so long as the packaging doesn't have the words "vagina, anal, or sexual aide" there is no age limit. Hence the popular term "personal massager".

GREAT review!!!

How frustrating!! I'm sorry this didn't work out for you, that it sucked, but not in a good way!! LOL However, it was great you were so honest!

Lights off, but with candles on for the MOOD!! Do you prefer being LOUD, or quiet??

Where I have always been a supporter of sex ed, and talking to your kids about sex, I still STRONGLY agree that any child under the age of 16 is waaaaaaaaaaaay too young to fully appreciate the responsibilities of having sex, including using a sex toy. Is it ok to allow a child to go buy beer too? How about smoking/buying cigarettes. Yes, years and years ago, both were ok to do, laws weren't put into place to protect the children. NOW there are laws to protect children. We have learned things about the dangers of smoking, alcohol, driving, and, yes, even voting!! And, it's even if-y if 18 year olds are responsible enough to handle the things that come their way, let alone a 14 yr old girl. Howard, again, in NO way am I insulting your personal choice of not having children, so please don't think I am disrespecting you when I say this, but you truly DO have to be a parent to understand how this is. Yes, you can learn from people/friends that have kids. But, there is a HUGE difference. I know I use to get highly insulted when a few of my motherly friends said this to me, but NOW that I have a child (and a step-daughter), I truly UNDERSTAND what/why they were saying. Children are creatures of The NOW. What feels good (masturabation....hmmmm), what entertains them, what's fun RIGHT NOW. Most kids, and some young adults that I have met, have a hard time or no clue how to think ahead to the consequences for their actions! As far as The Computer Generation goes. What's cool to look up on the internet isn't usually educational for young people. People learn to do such things gradually. It's fun to LOOK at nakid pics of people, not really COOL to LEARN about sex!! YES, be open and honest with kids if they have questions (age appropriate answers of course). YES have the SEX TALK when your kids seem old enough to be able to understand what you are saying. Some kids mature faster than others, emotionally & mentally. It's up to the parents to decide to have the detailed conversation with their kids. I believe sex ed should teach kids the mechanics, as well as the reprocussions of having sex (pregnancies, STDs, overall health issues). YES, encourage safe sex practices. This comes a hard line though. Teaching them about safe sex, without coming across that you are giving them PERMISSION to have sex. YES, don't turn a blind eye to possible sexual activity when it comes to your kids. Be aware of what your children are doing, and whom they are doing it with. ALWAYS remember, that YOU are their parent, NOT their friend. That comes later in life. SOOO many parents I've seen try to be more "friends" than parental, authoritative with their kids. Those kids don't respect their parents, and they may think their parents are "cool", but they tend to take advantage of their parents (and who wouldn't), and get into more trouble. Once a child reaching their majority, and you know you have done the best you can with them, being a parent can then be mixed with moments of friendship. A child will always need to feel like they can count on their parents to help and guide them. Teaching morality, responsibility, and understanding is a hard job. Doing so with your kids is one of the most challenging things a parent will ever have to do. Understanding that teaching your kids how to be responsible, and, teaching them age-appropriate lessons is very important. Being a role model, teacher, guardian, and authority figure as a parent is one of the most challenging and rewarding things one will ever choose to do.

Did Stefani's Vibe make you a "Holla-back girl"?

There are several debates all over this board, regarding sex toys and virgins. IMHO, a 14 yr old girl should NOT have a vibrator. That's just too soon! There's a reason for people having to be 18 when you go into a store. I'm sure her mother is well aware of what they're for, and chooses to not really think about it. Or, she may think that if her daughter uses a vibrator, she won't go out and have sex. Where I will conceed that children masturbate, I find it inappropriate for a CHILD to have a sex toy. That's just me though.

If you "granny-mouth" it, your lips and jaw will get more tired, quicker. Just learn to open your mouth a bit more, and do a lot more licking and hand action as well.