Tyger

I'm sorry that you and your husband are having to go thru all of that. And I say the both of you, because it truly is affecting BOTH of you. Counselling is definitely in order I believe. So, I see you're 27, and said you've been with your hubby since you were 17? Was he your first real boyfriend/relationship? Sometimes people can outgrow each other and not even realize it. Or the Everyday-ness wears you down, where you're almost running on auto-pilot. To me, that's a waste of time, for you and your partner. Does one want to look back at their life and be filled with "what if's" and regrets? No, of course not. Counselling will, hopefully, find the reasons as to why you feel this way, or don't feel at all. Right before I had my daughter, and after too, I had some medical condition (which I can't remember for the life of me), that made me dry, just in one spot right inside my vaginal area. It was almost like a sore bump up in there, but it was a dry patch. Which hurt like hell everytime my husband entered me. It made sex extremely painful, and the result, lube or not, was me bleeding a bit after we were done. Some cream and time cleared it right up. It made me shy away from sex for a long time afterward, for fear of pain. That could be some of your problem, the fear of pain? I did breastfeed my daughter for a year (not exclusively when she got older, but it was exclusive for the first 4 mos of her life), and where breast stimulation was a BIIIIIIG turn on for me, it's not now at all. In fact, I'd rather NOT be touched there. I find it almost irritating now. I tell you these things, since I've given birth, been there, done that, and drawing from my own experience, to show you that you're not alone. I would suggest making a list of things that you would like to do sexually, and bring them up to your husband. As far as your interest in BSDM is concerned, I noticed that you said that your husband doesn't always want to play like that. Well, no, if he's not into that sort of thing, he won't want to do that all of the time. Be thankful that he tried it, and will do some of it, and is willing to do more here and there. I don't want to use sex toys all of the time when having sex. Variety is the spice of life, including the sex-life!! Maybe try romancing him one night, or having HIM romance YOU. Have the kids go to a relative's house for the night, just so the 2 of you can concentrate on each other. Whether or not it turns into a sexual night. You both may need to try and reconnect as 2 adults, leaving the parent aspect out of it for a brief moment in time. I'm just kinda throwing stuff out there for you to consider. Having come on here, posting, and reading responses shows that you are willing to learn, try, and put forth an honest effort, which is a big and great step for the both of you! I hope you're able to find happiness in whatever you decide to do. Good luck, and let us know how things are going!

Now, I'm not trying to characterize Texans by any means, but I am also married to a Texan, and I get the "Awwwww helllll naaawww!!" when I suggest trying to stimulate a gland anally for him. I use to do it with my ex husband, and he loved it!!! But my NOW husband just doesn't like even the thought of it!!! He feels the same way: EXIT ONLY. And you must be gay if you're a guy and like something up your butt! The only thing I can tell him is that he doesn't know what he's missing.

Congrats! And now the question is....what toy did you use to accomplish THIS!!!!???

So, how'd it go???

Congratulations!!!! How awesome!!

First, I wish people would understand that there is nothing nothing nothing wrong with using lubrication. Just because you may have to use it, doesn't mean the woman isn't excited. It just happens! Just like sometimes a man either can't get a hard on, or a full hard on. He just CAN'T do it. Again, different causes may be to blame. There are times of the month, where a woman's hormones may cause her to be a bit dryer. As well as medications, stress, and yes, even taking a shower/bath can cause a woman to be a bit on the dry side. The soap from showering can dry a woman out, or sometimes even the water, depending on what & when they treat the water (with). Personally, I like Astroglide. It's water-based, so safe for toys & condoms alike. Practically odorless, and a little goes a long way! I've used K-Y lube, and I didn't like it. It just didn't seem to last as long as I needed/wanted it too. Just out of curiousity, why won't she join TT?

As far as the antibiotics go, I get severe bladder infections, and have probably been on every sulfer-based bladder meds there are, including Macrobid. I never had issues with my stool when on any of them. That's just me. And, I don't read the hand outs that most pharmacies automatically give out now, since I am so use to taking them. The few times that I have had anal sex, there was a funky smell afterwards, for the reasons Mikayla said, and a bit of blood, but not much to be concerned about. It will take time for your rectum to stretch a bit, to accomodate a penis, so go slow, use LOTSA lube, and relax! Happy playing!

Depending on when he arrives, maybe have some great catch up time with you and the kids, cuz I'm sure he's dying to see them too. If you can stand it, wear some baggy clothes......Then after a while, arrange for someone to take the kids, take him to your romantically set up bedroom (cuz I'm sure he also missed being in his own bed), with candles, soft music, and go get dressed in some really sexy, yet romantic lingerie, and surprise him with how MUCH weight you've lost. Seeing it, I'm sure will set him on ya!! For me, a first night back from a loved one being gone a long time, I like romance, slow and steady. Then, provide him a week of different lingerie outfits, and different types of sex. First night, romantic. Second night, maybe a bit more aggressive, third day and night....tease him all day long (sexy notes/text messages, in passing groping), then an adult movie that night, trying to copy what the porn stars are doing....and so on. Keep him guessing, it's a lot of fun!! Again, thank him from all of us for the service he's done for our country, and thank YOU for standing by him, providing love and support to an American Defender!!! And CONGRATS ON THE WEIGHT LOSS!!! THAT'S AWESOME!!!!!!!!

I also want to welcome you and am glad you found us and the courage to ask a very hard question. You are soooooooooooo not alone with this quandry! I would also like to repeat Howard's suggestion, read some of the forum, and responses to 3-somes. Those topics are in this forum, Sex Expert, and Everything Else as well. Upon reading them, you will find that most of us would say DON'T DO IT!! 3-somes in a marriage takes an extremely secure couple to endure. It is a common fantasy that most men share. 3-somes are fatal to most marriages just for the reasons that you yourself worry about: Will she be better than me? Will my husband/wife want to be with that person more than me, their spouse? Are they thinking about the 3rd person while making love to me? Will my spouse try and see that person on the side? Your first step, is to feel good about yourself. Whether you go on a diet/eat healthier, workout more, or just accept yourself as a curvacious, beautiful woman. A friend of mine has an avatar on her page that says "Skinny Girls Are For Wimps!!" I think that's a great attitude to have. She struggled all her childhood trying to be skinny. She's accepted that she is big boned, and will never be skinny. She says "yeah, I'm fat, and I don't care if you like it or not. This is me." Being comfortable in your own skin is very important. Second guessing yourself can get depressing, time consuming, and a never-ending cycle, unless you decide to change it. If I were you, I would tell your husband that, no, you will not change your mind about your opinions on a 3-some, and he needs to respect that. find the posts about 3-somes, print them out, and let him read them. If he values your marriage, then he should respect any decision with this that you make. I wish you all the best!!

It's waaaaaaaaaaay more "acceptable" now, than it was year ago, to be gay or bisexual. People are more use to it. Where she's a friend, tell her you think you may be bi-curious, since you're not sure if you are bisexual or not.....and go from there. Maybe getting her use to that idea first, before you tell her that she is the object of your affections right now. If she sounds curious herself, or just says something like "oh, ok, good for you", then let it alone for now. I, myself am bi-curious, but the one woman I would like my first time to be with lives in Canada. So I'm not sure how I may explore that. I know of many friends who have experimented with bisexuality, then ended the sexual part, but are still great friends. However, any type of sex will change a relationship in one way or another. Good luck!!

I hope your hubby doesn't try to "borrow" that one anytime soon!! Too bad it didn't come with an alarm in that cool carrying case!!

A Radiant Gems item by Doc Johnson arrived, and I was excited to try it out. It’s fuchsia, with a metallic swirl in it, which I found very appealing. It’s unique design and made of a new SilAGel material made me equally curious. (Remember, no silicone lube with this toy, it will ruin it.) It’s cone shaped, with bumps on the upper half of it, a slight bulbous head, and 7” long. I thought that this would be a good toy for vaginal or anal play. However, when I took it out to wash it, I was a bit skeptical as to how effective this toy would really be. It’s very bendy. In fact, I could bend it completely in half. Hmm. How good will this toy be? I was very skeptical. It’s anantibacterial, & softly scented toy among other benefits. I could smell a slight fruity scent to the toy, mixed with the strong “new toy” smell, washing didn’t kill the smell much either. It also has a suction cup molded into the base, but it doesn’t hold strongly to anything, including the tub. Gutter ball there. So, time to have some tub time with my new toy. I drew a nice hot bath, teasing myself with my fingers and the thought of using my new toy, I always get excited at the thought of a new plaything. I get into my bath with my K.P., and between being excited, the water, and the slickness of this toy, no lube was needed. I had to hold it close to the tip so it would go into my waiting lips, it slid in smoothly, & I could really feel those bumps! Incredible! I will admit to being very surprised, since it’s not wide at all. It had just enough strength & vaginal stimulation to it to satisfy me. The base is thicker, and easy to hang onto and was very easy to thrust in and out. I pulled it out slightly to tease my clit with the bumps too. I did this for a few minutes, and with a little help from my fingers on my clit, I was “kinged”! I think it may be difficult to use this anally, with the odd angles needed to insert a toy anally, and the extreme flexibility of this toy. This is a simple, pretty toy, which would be a great starter toy, since it’s not complicated in any way, soft, simple, and full of possibilities. Get Knobby

That was just WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much math for me!!

2Twisted. First, we try very very hard here to not judge when it comes to sexual preferences. There are lines that are common sense & some legally, that are permanantly carved, no, dug deep into the sand of being in a civilized world. We are human, and most of us parents as well. It's hard not to think that someone at the age of 7 can give consent to place an order at a restaurant, let alone have sex. There's a level of maturity, or lack thereof, that a 7 yr old, no matter how "advanced" for their age, has. We're not judging YOU. Speaking for myself, I am more shocked and angered by the boy that did that to you. Call it being protective, not judgmental. I was raped when I was 6. I had no idea it was rape at the time. My mother's friend's son thought it'd be fun to play doctor. What did I know? Nothing. We played doctor. I got a FULL exam. At the time, all I knew is that it hurt for some reason. I didn't realize until I was 13 that I had actually been raped. I don't tell many people that, but it's just an example of how little children, and yes, my dear, you were a child, don't know about the world of sex. Yes, they touch themselves, cuz it feels good. But children aren't able to fully comprehend what it truly means to have sex, what goes on, and the things that can happen cuz of it. Children have a hard time grasping cause and effect. They learn that in stages. As far as cutting. I haven't ever gotten off or had someone get off by making me bleed, or seeing someone else bleed either. Those things also progress deeper and deeper. Rarely does it ever stay at the same level of what you're talking about. Obviously, it's your choice to do what you want, but you have a child in the house, and sooner or later, they will ask why you have a huge bandage on your stomach/arm/leg, where ever, and wonder why y'all had to go to the ER for stitches. Just something to think about.

I doubt my hubby would be turned on by Lure then. I like the smell of baby powder, it's a clean, innocent smell, IMO. Plus, there is a cologne out there that smells like that, very popular with teens, called Luvs, I believe. Great review though, since you can't tell what it would smell like online!! Plus, it made me smile too! Thanks!!!

Oh, my! There are several options for that price range!! My best suggestion would be to go to the product search, and pull up vibrators. You can choose price range too. That way you can see for yourself what's here. 2 of my faves are my glass blue swirl dildo (I think about $22), which I did a review for, and my Infinite Pleasures Kit, which is under $40. Lots of cool toys with that one. The Dual Action Remote Bunny Vibe is great too. They just reduced the price of that to about $50, I believe. You can check the items as you go, and see the product reviews too. Searching is half the fun!! Good luck! Let us know how you make out!!

They usually mean around. I reviewed "The American Whopper" which was pretty big. Vibrated too. Here's the link to that review for ya, hope it helps. http://forums.tootimid.com/index.php?showtopic=2183

To answer my own question, the answer is, thankfully, no.

Since I don't know the extent of your sex toy experience, what you're use too, or what you got, I would have to say to use some lube (water base is safer for all toys), and a bit more relaxation. Happy playing!!

There's a better chance of getting a clit stimulator at that price than a really good vibrator for that price. Just like with anything else, quality usually costs more. Don't forget shipping and handling costs too. I've had a couple of "under $20 vibes" before (not from here though), and found them lacking. That's just me though.

FIrst, I'm sorry to hear about the bad things that you've been thru, and I'm happy you're happy now. However, I will disagree with you on your opinion that most men (not all, but most) like to seclude their women for control and abuse. There ARE men out there that do that, it's true. But I don't think, and speaking from personaly experience, that most men are like that. I've been in and out of relationships (most long-term) for about 20 years (married now though). I've only had ONE majorly controlling man, which I dropped really quickly. I find it sad that you're so young with such a negative outlook on men. Yes, you do hear a lot about the bad relationships. True true. But people generally talk more about the negative than the positive. I'm hear to tell you that there ARE men out there, probably very much like your honey you're with now, that are caring, loving, giving, and want to have equal partners in a relationship. Take a look around, just to see, that there are some nice guys out there, you just need to give them a chance. Gender roles are changing. Men aren't looking for a woman they can control and take care of (for the most part). Women usually aren't looking for a man to take care of their every need either. For those people that want it the "old fashioned way", IMO, have a better chance of getting a bit more abusive so things can go THEIR way. I hope you all the happiness.

I would also recommend the variety packs to try out, to see what's pleasurable for both of you. Each person has a different preference~hence why there are so many options out there now! Now, lambskin condoms are more sensitive for the man, but not as good for STD protection as the latex are. Remember, with condoms, it's protection, but not guaranteed that you won't get an STD.

I am so sorry for the things that your ex did, but hon, you are NOT alone! Being a counselor, you should KNOW that. Yes, you "know" all the mental tools needed to overcome this issue, but it's harder to apply that knowledge to yourself! As they say, "easier said, than done". I too, have been the victim of a cheating spouse. I would swear that Mikayla and I are almost mirror twins when it comes to experiences like this! My ex also had a tendancy to be overly flattered by any wman that would say "Hi" to him, and pay him the slightest compliment. It made him feel good about himself. We were highschool sweathearts, and he claimed that I was the True-Love-Of-His-Life. Even with the signs of his infidelity all around me, I doubted that he would cheat on ME. He cheated on everyone else....but he'd never ever do that to ME.....yeah, ok!! My father died, and I got his computer. At the time, I was truly computer illiterate. Turning the computer on scared me! We got the internet, and slowly, I got CONNECTED!! I had fun, went on AOL chat rooms, e-mailing became easier and easier. But it started off slowly, but eventually got worst: his accusing me of cheating online (his view was that even flirting was cheating). Everything really came to a head when, after months of training, I was an instructor at a computer training center. I could dive deep into the inner programing of a computer, retrieve lost files....and so on. A dear friend of mine told me she had IMed me several times and it was my ex, posing as me, checking my e-mails and so on. I always say that, even though I don't have anything to hide, I like my privacy. Well, screw him I thought. I created all his passwords and SNs, so I went delving. I found that he was flirting with women online, using a now non-existent "talk chat room" thing to vocally flirt and cyber with girls. He also was downloading nude pics of LOCAL women (most of which were a lot bigger than I was~which shocked me since I busted my ass keeping slim and he said he loved my lithe body), and also sending out nude photos of himself masturbating. I found a disc of him (that he'd labelled "don't look at or touch" DUH! So, of course, I looked at, copied, and was just disgusted!! I also found sites and deleted e-mails, & chat logs proving that he'd cheated. I copied everything. All this, and him not paying his share of anything, while he was away on his annual hunting trip, I contacted a lawyer, and told our landlord he wasn't allowed in the apartment when I wasn't there anymore, and why. Changed the locks, and divorced him. Looking back, I knew deep down that he'd cheat on me. I was more offended that he thought I was soooo ignorant about the whole thing. Knowing how computer savy I'd become! Plus, I don't think I'm an overly ignorant woman (usually). As far as getting over all of this, well, it's hard, for sure. But, I've learned in a very short time, that if a person, male or female, wants to cheat, they're gonna cheat, no matter how much effort or time you put into them. And, if my man wants to cheat, fine, but he won't be mine anymore, cuz I can live without him. I've done it before, and I can do it again. I've always gone into relationships (even as a teen) telling the guys that they're in my life cuz I WANT them to be, not cuz I NEED them to be. It would hurt if my hubby cheated on me, but I will survive, no matter what. Especially now, where I have my daughter. I have to be strong for her, no matter what happens. I think that a lot of it has to do with attitude, and self-esteem really. Sorry this was long winded. I wish you the best!! And, don't let your new man pay for your exes mistakes. Take his word on things, especially if he hasn't given you reason NOT to!! *hugs*

Thanks so far, for all your input! Well, I do live in Texas, AND have a little girl, and I gotta say that I have mixed views as well. I think the media itself is doing this vaccine an injustice to say it's an "STD SHOT", because it's really not the focus of the vaccine. The focus SHOULD be on the fact that it helps prevent a common type of cervical cancer, which happens to be caused by HPV. Yes, that IS an STD, but they're not focusing on the right aspect of this shot. You say the term STD, and people get a negative feeling about it. My husband, being the true Texan that he is, when he first heard about it, said "AWWWW Hell Nawww!! Not my daughter! Sex? 6th grade? Uh-uhhhhhh". Which, IMO is probably the typical reaction. Most kids aren't thinking of sex by 6th grade. But the point of this shot is that the child has to NOT BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE (hence not having the CHANCE of having HPV, and not knowing about it). Now, where I think goverment does try and step in at times that they shouldn't, I truly can't see why some people are getting SOOO offended by "this" shot, since, if you think about it, you have to have your children vaccinated against a lot of viruses before the age of 5 anyway. What makes this one much different? In answer to some questions. Yes, the government would help pay or fully pay for the shot if you couldn't afford to get it on your own. I would think they woud have too anyway, especially if it's mandated. Like Mikayla, if the shot is proved safe and effective, I want my daughter to be protected against all the bad things out there that may hurt her, or make her sick. Plus the fact that my mother had uterine cancer, my half-sister had cervical cancer, I am on my guard against cancer in me, I know with cancer in our family, she has a higher risk of it. IF this vaccine mandate is influenced by TX's governor's affliliation with the drug's maker, Merk (I think that's how it's spelled), and the contributions that Merk made to the governor when he was running, then I don't think that this is a good idea at all.