chickenmom

If you have been with your partner for a long enough period of time, your instinct will go off. Cheating partners change things subtly that they don't even know. Your radar may not go off right away, but eventually it will.

I want in!

Thank you, Rob. This forum is a "safe" environment for us and it's nice to know that we are protected.

I agree with Rob and Howard. When you're not interested in sex, there is something in the relationship that is not working. Talk to him, go to counseling, something. I too one was a person who wanted nothing to do with sex. A big part was that I had never had an orgasm, so I thought, big deal. It was too much trouble. Now that's been fixed, thanks to this site. In any case, the other aspect was that, and I failed to recognize it, we were having serious problems. I was avoiding sex because I didn't want to be around him. Counseling and time have helped heal our relationship. Now am I not only having orgasms, I am initiating sex, wanting sex, and generally driving him crazy. Find out what is going on in your relationship or you might eventually end up in a position that could end the marriage. It takes time for a relationship to get to that point, and it will take time to fix it, but it's work. Good luck.

I was also one who was sexually shy until recently. I would never have masturbated, much less touch myself in front of my hubby. Now, no problem. Give her more time. Just reassure her tell her how sexy she is, how wonderful, etc. Her confidence will help her get over her shyness in the end. Just be patient.

I have three children of my own, 10, 12, 13 and my 15 year old nephew. After the third one was born, I wanted another, but the hubby said no. He made the appointment himself for a vasectomy. He was the oldest of 5 boys and felt like financially that was what we could afford. As I stated, at the time, I wanted 1 more. You're in that "toddler mode,'" so having another is no big deal at the time. I also babysat and it was no problem to take 6 or 8 kids to the store, the beach, anywhere. Somehow, you know how to get it done. Now that all of mine are older though, I'm seeing the light at the end of tunnel and would not choose to have another at this point. If God blessed us with one, that's okay. I wouldn't choose to have another though. As much as I love my children, I am looking forward to getting my life back. As you know, when you have children, your life is not your own. It's theirs. I think that you already know what you want, you just have to come to terms with it. Whatever you decide, be at peace with your decision. It'll be okay.

Good luck! Keep us posted.

Toys. I can put the toy exactly where I want it. The hubby's tongue just can't do what the vibrators can.

With all due respect, Mikayla. I don't believe that anyone has to workship the penis and feel priviledged to give a blowjob. It is not my favorite thing to do. However, I do it because it makes my hubby happy. To me, giving a blowjob despite my not enjoying it is comparable to eating at a restaurant that my hubby likes, but I don't. It makes him happy and in turn, it makes me happy. Consequently, if her lover is insisting that Ms. Boop (she didn't state it, this is only for example's sake) continue giving head and she's ready to move forward to the "deed," then I feel he's being selfish. He should acknowledge her and move to the next level.

It sounds as though you have a selfish lover. I would think that there are times when a man should be able to cum and other times when he should recognize when you've had enough and he should "do the deed." Maybe an open discussion with your lover is in order about the subject.

See. I can't even imagine about fantasizing about being with anyone else other than my husband. I love Howard's advice and guidance, but I can't make that leap to fantasize about him. Maybe I'm just sexually stunted, but my mind and body can only focus on the hubby.

Girth, in my opinion, is what matters most. I need that "full" feeling. Length for me doesn't do anything.

Katprr: This is only my opinion, I'm sure other people will disagree. It sounds as though you're already having an emotional affair with this man in jail. You made a commitment to your husband when you married him to forsake all others. There is no way that I would allow my husband to have any contact with someone that I knew he had an emotional connection. It's cheating any way you look at it. Your husband is very understanding, but it may be because he doesn't want to lose you. I don't know what his feelings are, only he does. I would imagine that it does hurt him to know that you have feelings for someone else. It sounds from your posts that you have a wonderful relationship with your husband. He married you and is being a father to your children. I would hate to see that lost, because of something that should have been let go a long time ago. On another note, I get so much from your advice, candor and encouragement. I appreciate it. chickenmom

I don't think they'll fit anally for me; they are big. I've tried to fit them vaginally and can only get 2, maybe 3, of them in! Is it a lost cause?

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...ROD&ProdID=5027 I was so excited to receive this toy. The thought of "hands free" or almost anyway was really appealing. Maybe I was expecting too much, but it really didn't stay in place like I thought it would, nor were the vibrations as strong as I thought they would be. The anal probe was a decent length, but the vibrations could only be felt minimally. The vaginal part kept popping out, while the clitoral stimulation was non-existent for me. I really don't like not giving this toy an outstanding review, but I was really disappointed. I'm going to give it another go round to see if maybe I just need to relax more. I'll update when I try it again. Has anyone else used this toy?

Okay. As y'all know, I'm new to toys. I bought the Thunder Balls thinking they were similar to BenWa Balls. These things are huge! Now, I don't know what to do with them. Any ideas? http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...ROD&ProdID=3175

I can't even see why this is a question. If you have relations with ANYONE other than your spouse, SO, whatever, it is cheating, even whether or not it is known to all parties.

I'm sorry about everything that's happened. In the meantime, do NOT bring in another person. It will only complicates things and probably be intimidating for the both of you. Takes everyone's advice and go to the doctor and see what they can do for you. In the meantime, get some toys in your life specifically for her. Bullets, dildos, whatever she might like. I'm new to the toy scene, but I sure wish I had discovered them 20 years ago. Having her satisified will in some way allow you to feel less pressure on yourself. My husband agrees that it's nice for me to finally be content after all of these years of not having orgasms. Don't be embarassed. This is the best forum. Everyone here is so wonderful. Good luck.

I am so buying one of those!

I received my Waterproof Sender Probe, and thought, hmm. AAA batteries? It can't be very powerful. I was wrong! This probe is slender, maybe 1/2 inch around, but long enough at 6 3/4 inches. I found that it works great as a vibrator. Since it's long, I can control it better than my bullet. The vibrations run the entire length of the probe. The tilted head allows me to put in exactly the right place without interference while having sex. I have been able to orgasm mutiple times without any penetration using this baby! If you are in the market for a good vibrator, I highly recommend this probe. http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...ROD&ProdID=4260

I came to this forum looking for information, not propositions. If that's what someone wants, they need to go somewhere else. When I came looking for information, I received several questionable e-mails. I did respond stating that I wasn't interested, but needing advice. Did I like the attention? No. The advice. Yes. I did show my hubby the PM's I received, and he understood. I had never had an orgasm, so he knew I needed guidance. This site makes him uncomfortable, but he definitely agrees that our sex life is infinitely better.

I have a pillow that I use. Where can I get what y'all have?

I've never been tied up. I have fantasies about it though. Just the thought of not being in control is an incredible turn on for me. My hubby is having trouble adjusting to the "new" me. I think I'm intimidating him now with all of my toys. I think if I brought that up now, he would probably go into shock. I'll have to keep my fantasies just that for now.

Welcome Sailor Girl. This forum is the most female friendly site you'll read. It is honest, open and honest, but very non judgmental. Ask the questions and you'll get loads of advice. You'll get more comfortable with time. Everyone's sincerity and guidance helped me to obtain the big "O" that I'd never had. You'll be okay.

Thanks. I'll give him the tip.