ToyQueen

I can't find them in our stores, either.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences.

You could try the Avlimil. It worked for me for about a month. I believe my issues were more emotional from being with an abusive spouse, and that was the biggest reason it didn't work for me. My sister used it for a much longer time period and loved it the whole time she used it. Lots of women swear by it. Nothing is a cure all. Your wife could talk to her doctor about it. (S)He may have other ideas.

There is a product out there called Avlimil. My doctor actually gave me a one month sample. It helped the first month I took it, but then seemed to lose it's effectiveness. But it works wonders for some women. It is herbal.

This has always been one of my favorite positions because it DOES put me in control. In fact, it is the only position I have been able to orgasm in during intercourse. One of the things that I love about it is that you can play with your SO's nipples, face, hair, balls, etc. Plus, you can lean forward to kiss him. You can stay upright, play with your own breast and nipples. Or you can try leaning backwards. Some people really like that. I loved to tell him to hold still and let me do the work. That way I could set my own rhythm and pace. Plus, it's fun to see how long it takes before he HAS to move! I hope something here will help you out. Good luck!

I would suggest that you check out the DVD review thread on the forum. Those who review the DVDs are very candid in telling us all what they think. They give us a pretty good idea of whether it is something that appeals to our own taste. Check it out!

This is not an excuse, but I have to say this much. Sometimes nurses are around so many disgusting smells that we kind of get used to it. We don't realize that we smell because the odors we are constantly walking through are so much worse. Sometimes I think that our olfactory glands are damaged. It makes me personally shower more often, but there are nurses who truly can't tell that they smell. Sam, what about telling her that you will watch the boys while she showers. Maybe run her a nice bubble bath and put some relaxing music on in the bathroom. Then it isn't just another chore she has to do.

I absolutely LOVE to have my nipples played with. And I love to play with a man's nipples. It is amazing to me how crazy a man can get with a little nipple stim...

I want to say happy birthday. I hope it is a very good day, and your family treats you like the queen that you are!!!!

Welcome! Your story sounds much like mine. I'm glad you are here.

Maybe we should all try that diet!!!!!

I don't think that accusing her of planning to get pregnant will help your situation. I know I would have wanted sex even less. I would encourage her to get counseling. Have her sister help with that. She doesn't need to know that you are in on it together. But she may need to be pushed. She probably doesn't want to talk to anyone about what happened. It is hard to do, and brings up those feelings and thoughts again. I'm sure she just wants to say that it's in the past, and bury it. To illustrate this point... My sister was told by both of her husbands that she was frigid. Well, several years ago, my mom told me that my sister had been molested by my aunt. My mother refuses to tell my sister about this. She steadfastly believes that because it happened when she was very young--around 15 months--that there are no memories of the situation. She thinks it will just cause more problems than it would solve. I truly believe that this is part of my sister's problem with her relationships with both of her husbands. Mommy mode is a valid issue. Your help is a great thing, but it only goes so far. If she thinks that you are only helping so that she will have sex with you, it defeats the purpose. It is one of the biggest two-edged swords that I know of in a relationship. So, I think that you and your wife's sister need to push your wife to get help. Even if she starts out going because you "make her", it could be what she needs.

I don't like ultimatums, either. But sometimes they are necessary. Does that mean you need to give her one??? Maybe not. Perhaps her sister could talk to her about it in a way that wouldn't seem intimidating, since she has been there. I do know it is very hard to talk to someone who hasn't experienced that. I know it is still very hard for me to talk about. I'm not sure you will get very far while she is pregnant, but you might be able to get her to open up with someone. I don't believe that this is impossible to get over. It will require work on both sides. It requires lots of patience. I would encourage her to get help. Enlist the help of anyone who will encourage her. What else can I do to help you???

I think DH stands for "dear hubby". Ask the others as you find them. Someone will know.

Your wife needs to see a counselor. I'm sure she doesn't want to talk about it. I'm sure she doesn't think it's a problem. Here is my personal story. I was not abused in the most thought of fashion. I had severe problems as a child. My labia actually fused together, causing multiple problems. I had seven surgeries before I was seven. Anyway, I went to counseling after my husband left. As most good counselors do, he asked about our sex life. At first, I refused to talk about it. After a couple of weeks, I finally told him everything, including my premarital sex history. This was VERY difficult for me, because my religious beliefs were against my behavior. My counselor shared my beliefs, so it was very hard to tell him things. This counselor was great with me. A lot of the sexual problems in my marriage was actually related to my problems as a child. He helped me work through a lot of the "baggage" that was left. Bottom line---your wife needs to see someone. It's not going to go away.

As a very shy person, especially when it comes to sex, I will tell you this. She may not be able to suggest anything to you. She may honestly not know what to suggest. She may not be willing to put an idea out there, afraid that you will shoot her down. I know that I felt that way. One thing that I do wonder about. Was your wife ever molested or abused as a child??? That can make a huge difference. Again, personal experience... But I kind of get that impression from what you are telling me...

I agree that it is hard. This is something I felt, and maybe it will help you in dealing with her. My husband was usually accusatory when he would bring the topic up. He didn't like what was going on, but he didn't seem to make a lot of effort to change things other than complaining. Quite honestly, I don't think my husband even knew that I masturbated during our marriage. I tried very hard during my pregnancies to keep him happy. We did tons of titty-fucking, I gave him blow jobs, even though I didn't like to. Obviously, this is from my perspective, and he would probably tell a totally different story. But if there are questions I can answer, or support I could give, let me know. Maybe I could come up with some other ideas for you. Good luck.

I agree completely!!!

Good one, Tyger!!!

If she will not talk to the doctor about this stuff, you need to bring it up at one of her visits. You could just say, "Hey, Doc, I've noticed that..." It tends to start a whole new conversation. The doctor will ask more question of your wife, and that gives her the opportunity to ask her own questions. Counseling, even if you go alone, may be beneficial. Check it out. Honestly, your wife sounds very much like I was several years ago. I wasn't very open to new things, toys, etc. It was one of my husband's reasons for leaving me. Now, he wouldn't know me. I LOVE my toys, and I'm much more open to new things. Please keep us posted.

I thought this would be good to bump up, since there are lots of new people since the last posting. If I could have any toy, it would be one of those clones of my best friend's cock.

I agree with Tyger. This is something that your wife needs to be discussing with her doctor NOW. It truly does sound to me like some post partum depression, maybe with some other things combined. I had difficult pregnancies. I started into preterm labor between 20 and 27 weeks. Even though I didn't feel good, and intercourse was off limits, I tried to take care of my husband in whatever ways I could. I wasn't interested in BJs, but I did do so on occasion for him. I did other things, too. Have you talked to her and told her how important this is to you? One other thing that crossed my mind. During pregnancy hormones are totally out of whack, but perhaps your wife needs to have some hormone levels checked after the baby is born. They may not go back to normal, and she may need some help.

I think we have missed something here. Why 12-13 months, and 20 months? This sounds like more than just pregnancy sickness.

Those are great, Tyger! Thanks for providing us with some humor each day!

Hi, Sunshine. Welcome! I was much like you. My first husband LOVED blow jobs, but I had been raised that straight vaginal, missionary position sex was the only appropriate thing to do. I did get to a point that I would give him a BJ, but not very often. I truly didn't like it. I NEVER gave my second hubby a BJ. Sorry guys. However, this is what I have learned. Ask him what he would like. Ask him to guide you verbally through the whole thing. He can tell you what to do. That way you learn exactly what he likes. Watch or listen to his reactions. If there is a positive reaction, you know that would be a good thing to repeat. I'm sure you will get lots of responses, but maybe this will be a start. Good luck.