Hey Bobo I know where you are coming from. My husband is the first man I was ever with, and he looks at porn fairly freguently. Early in our relationship this caused me horrible feelings. I felt that I must be lacking in some way, he wasn't happy with me so he needed to look at others, I must not be sexual enough, or he wouldn't need to look at porn etc.... However, and I'm not sure exactly when it happened, I have somehow revised my thinking. We have been married for almost five years now, and have a wonderful marriage. It doesn't bother me now, and he doesn't look at it often, but occasionally he still does. I have learned that no matter who he looks at, he loves and wants me. That's all there is to it. Just because we are married, doesn't mean we don't have eyes. I still notice an attractive men....and my husband still notices attractive women. Despite this, we love each other unconditionaly. Hope this helps, and I wish you luck with dealing with this.