leslieanne

Take my word for it we've heard them all - most doc's don't care what terminology you use. What's most important is if you to feel comfortable with what you say/ask - so use what's most comfortable for you.

dkm - since she has been seen by the ENT doctor (s)he will not be as adapt to do the frequent follow up on her hormone levels. In addition it is unlikely that (s)he will have the inclination to look at the "whole picture" and will focus only on the thyroid test results. Either an internal medicine, family medicine, or endocrinologist will be able to provide a more comprehensive approach to figuring out what is going on. Some OB/Gyn physicians maybe willing to do this, but that would not be my first recommendation. Please feel free to send me a message if you have any other questions that you feel I might be able to help with. I can't of course diagnosis, treat or manage, however I can be a resource if needed. Hope things improve for her and you over time. leslieanne

dkm - I'm sorry to hear that her doctor is so far from you and so unresponsive - just makes it all that much more difficult for her and you. I'm glad to hear that she is sleeping well - allows that issue to be taken off the table and makes it much more likely that there is something else contributing to her fatigue. Is her doctor an Endocrinologist or a surgeon? Does she have a Family Medicince doctor or Internal Medicine doctor that she can see who is closer? If she is anemic that of course can add into the problem. That said I think she would benefit from closer monitoring over at least a few months to get a better handle on what's happening with her thyroid hormone levels. I would suggest that she track both her menstrual cycles (start and stop days) as well as tracking the other symptoms she has - particularly when she feels her thyroid is acting up. The easiest way to do this is on a regular calendar - use letters to indicate certain symptoms - example Red S for period start, Red E for period end, Black F for fatigue, etc. While this may sound sort of weird or hokey there may be a pattern of some sort - it certainly won't hurt to give it a go. If there does appear to be a pattern this can be helpful to her doctor. Since I don't know your living situation I don't want to be overly pushy, but I do think she really needs to find a physician closer who can help sort through the symptoms she is experiencing.

Unfortunately my most favorite of all toys, which is a rabbit, is no longer available. That said I also really enjoy the rabbit bullet - is sure to get me going in almost no time at all. Here's the link http://shop.tootimid.com/bunny-rabbit-bullet.aspx

Dear Sir - I'm totally hooked!!!! Thank you for providing us with such pleasure and enjoyment.

dkm - it sounds as if you are pitching in, that said I don't know a woman alive who doesn't often need additional help with the kids and house. Although her thyroid problem has been diagnosed it does not sound as if all is well yet. As a physician (Ob/Gyn) my thoughts/questions are as follows: 1. When you say her thyroid acts up from time to time - what do you mean? 2. Is her doctor aware of this? 3. If yes has she been asked to record symptoms to see if there is any pattern to when her thyroid acts up? 4. If no then she needs to see her doctor and talk with him/her about it! 5. Has she been asked to do any blood tests to check her thyroid hormones when her thyroid acts up? 6. How often has her thyroid function been tested since she was started on medication? Yes it can take time to get the medication dosage "correct" with respect to her hormone levels, but if her symptoms persist additional adjustments maybe required. 7. Has she been tested for other possible causes of her fatigue - for example what are her menses like - if they are particularly heavy she is at increased risk for anemia. Her blood count should be check 2-3 times 1-2 months apart to assure that her blood count is stable. 8. Does she have any other symptoms other then fatigue? If so what? 9. Is she sleeping well at night? How many hours of sleep is she getting - straight, not walking up for the kids, to go the bathroom, etc? 9. Does she have any time for her - a time to relax, chill, mentally take a break? Interestingly enough there is significant data to support the need for either regular activity such as walking/running/swimming to help combat fatigue - sounds counter intuitive I know, but true. Yoga/meditation are also a good activities to help decrease the stress one feels. Hope you don't mind the list of questions - hope they help ........ any and all of these may be having an impact and are worth discussing with her doctor. While fatique is not infrequent for working moms - it shouldn't be a regular occurance and needs additional evaluation. leslieanne

Sorry I've been out of contact for awhile or would have added some commentary before now. Regarding the mode of delivery - some women do "beat themselves up" if they have a c-section. They had a picture in their mind regarding how the pregnancy and delivery would go and if the reality is different they struggle with "their failure". The reality is that what every mother, father and doctor wants is a healthy happy baby and a healthy mom. If that means a c-section, an early delivery, time for the baby in the NICU, etc. then so be it. It is the ultimate outcome that one should focus on, not the pathway that got you there. (also a pretty good philosophy for life). Unfortunately there are segments of our population/culture that see any medical intervention as bad since "child delivery is a normal process" - this type of commentary only adds to a woman's sense of "failure" if she is unable to deliver vaginally or breastfeed. Angelkisses - neither your body or you failed is any way. Pregnancy is THE MOST DANGEROUS thing a woman does. This has been minimized in our society due to all the medical advances that have been made, however even with these advances women die due to pregnancy or delivery. The fact that you developed severe PIH early in the pregancy was your body's response to the hormonal and physiologic changes associated with pregnancy. It is a part of your genetics. This is just one of the many reasons pregnancy is so dangerous. No it doesn't happen to everyone and thank goodness it isn't super common, but I deal with it multiple times a year. If your doctor's hadn't acted and you had progressed to having seizures and/or dying - that would have been a failure. Getting your daughter delivered and into the NICU for appropriate care and getting you fully recovered with no additional complications or long term sequelee - that's a rip roaring success!!!!

The amount/area of numbness that remains after a C-section varies from woman to woman (the size/length of the incision is different, the amount of stretching that was done during the surgery is differnt, we all heal differently, etc) in addition it is affected by whether the incision is vertical or horizontal. Typically there is a bit more numbness from a horizontal incision then a vertical incision (has to do with the way nerves are in the skin). The more c-sections you have - the more numbness there is due to the nerves getting cut repeatatively. With both a vertical and horizontal incisions being done during the same surgery there is always a certain amount of numbness present particularly where the 2 incisions meet/intersect - again related to the degree that the nerves were cut/traumatized. While I would like to say you will get more feeling back - for the most part whatever feeling you have at 6 months - that's as good as it is going to get - Sorry. So most likely you will not see much, if any change from this point forward. Possible that I could be wrong, but not very probable.

Depends on whose place we are at - my place I'm on the left, his place he's on the left......never thought about why.

Hot HOt HOT - triple digits for 3 days running - no air conditioning so the house is in the 90's in the evening.....

Who can't laught at that ;-)

The trick with Kegels is to make sure you are focused/using the muscles of the pelvic floor - in other words those that surround the opening of the vagina - and not the "butt muscles". You can use BenWa balls (also known as kegel balls) but you don't need to. There are a couple of ways to make sure you are using the correct muscles. 1. Insert 2 fingers into your vagina and tighten around them without contracting/tightening your butt muscles. 2. When you are peeing tighten the muscles - this will stop the flow of urine. You do not want to do this for an extended time or repeatitively as it could increase your risk of a bladder infection. Doing it once or twice just to get the feel of the muscles you need to contract is all that is needed. When sitting in a chair and doing kegels no one should know you are doing them. If you are "moving up and down" then you are contracting your butt muscles not the muscles of your pelvic floor. Kegels can be done at any time and just like any exercise it is best to slowly build up the number of reps that you do. What I recommend for my patients is to start with 15 twice a day and every 3-5 days increase by 5 until you are doing 50 twice a day. The pattern is contract - relax - contract - relax. Once you can comfortably do 100 Kegels a day you can then start practicing holding the contraction so the pattern would then become - contract and hold for a count of 2 - relax - contract and hold for a count of 2 - relax. By doing this (and starting it even before you have kids) you will improve the muscle tone of your pelvic floor and minimize the risk of problems with urinary incontinence later in life. Also - it's never to late (or early) to start doing Kegals.

Will admit it was cute to see - good that you pointed out the clitoral vibe motion as some may not notice that. Think it would be particularly helpful to newbies or those without many toys/vibes. Seeing a moving picture certainly can't hurt.

Sensual woman - As always Mikayla's advice, insights and recommendations are wonderful!! Given your comments about pain with penetration and your bowel "issues" it sounds as if you may subconsciously be having difficulty initally relaxing the muscles of the rectum/vagina. The other aspect of your bowel "issues" maybe the consistancy of your stool. I would recommend that you either increase the amount of fiber in your diet (more vegies) or start using a fiber laxative once a day. In addition you can actually work on consciously relaxing the muscles of your vagina so penetration is not so painful. This can be done by placing 2 fingers in your vagina and slowly pushing backwards towards your rectum - don't push so far as to cause pain, stop when it first starts to become uncomfortable. At that point try to consciously relax your muscles. Don't get upset if you aren't able to do it at first - it takes time and practice. I typically recommend to my patients that have this problem to do this daily for at least a few weeks.

Couple of other questions for you Are you still breast feeding? If no when did you stop? Are you using any form of hormonal birth control? - BCP, depoProvera injections, BC patch, etc

Excellent questions! Would add one more - when did the lack of "mental desire" start?

At work - it sure would make some of the meetings I attend much more enjoyable!!!

Kace - I'm sorry I wasn't checking out the forums much in the past few months (significant family issues). I hope your wife is doing better and has had some improvement in the pain she experiences. If the oral antifungals don't do the trick she should definately see another OB/Gyn - DO NOT DO SURGERY - this has not been shown to be all that successful and can in fact lead to more pain due to scaring that may occur after the surgery. Vulvodynia is often misdiagnosised at "recurrent/persistant yeast infection". Repeatitive use of the antifungals can make the problem worse in that the patient can end up with local sensitivity to the antifungal. Oral antifungals can be of use in some cases, however the time frame for use should not need to be extensive. Topical steroids can made a big difference for many patients. The trick is using the correct strength - the OTC (over the counter) steroids (hydrocortisone 1%)rarely if ever work. Typically a mid or high dose strength steroid (Valesone or Timovate) are needed. The frequency of use can also vary, however using them at least once a day and often twice a day for 1-3 months is necessary. As an FYI when I have patients with this type of a concern I see them every 2-4 weeks depending on what their symptoms are and what type of response they are (or aren't) getting from the treatment. Unfortunately this is one of those disoders/problems where there is not a simple solution. It takes a stepwise approach and a willingness to try different medications to determine which one works best for any one individual. This can be an issue at any point in time during a woman's life - however it does increase in frequency as women get older and in post menopausal women there is a skin disorder - lichen sclerosis - which has very similar symptoms but also so some skin changes that occur. Again - I hope your wife is doing better and that she is getting more regular follow up for this. I also hope that she relaxes and lets you come to her gyn visits - as an MD I always find it better to talk to both people as this really does affect them both - in addition the partner always seems to have a better understanding, acceptance and compasion for what's happening if they are actively a part of the conversation with the doctor and the patient.

Glad to hear it went well and that you're doing ok. Please, please, please take it easy!!

If your husband hasn't been in for a general check up and physical in the last 2 years I'd recommend that he do so. Is it possible that it's due to his age - yes, however it's just as likely that it maybe a health related issue. The most common age for health issues to start surfacing are when we (men and women) are in our 40's. Things such as high blood pressure, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, depression to name a few can impact both a persons libido as well as their function and stamina. The things I've listed typically don't have any "dramatic" symptoms so any change in his sexual function should be checked out. In addition any of them are left untreated it can lead to significant long term health problems. Men are notorious for not wanting to go see the doctor - "I feel fine, so there's nothing wrong with me" is a common response. However if you care for him you'll pester him until he goes. What he is experiencing may not be related to his health, but if it is, it is in his best interest to get it diagnosed and treated.

Shortstuff - recovery time will depend primarily on the size of the hernia - smaller hernia = smaller incision = shorter recovery time larger hernia = larger incision = longer recovery time Typically an abdominal incision is primarily closed in 7-10 days which is when you can slowly start increasing your activities - again this will depend on incision size. Your surgeon should be able to give you a general idea of the overall recovery time as well as the more "acute" phase when your activities will need to be fairly restricted. Remember that good pain control is important. If your pain is poorly controlled it actually lengths the recovery time. The other thing that will affect your recovery time is your general state of health. If you have other medical problems (diabetes, high blood pressure, mobility problems, etc) the recovery tends to be slower.

Glad you found what you needed here. Hopefully you don't stop with oral sex......there is so much here to enhance one's sex life!!

Well hate to say this, but 68, clear, sunny and absolutely gorcious out...... only down side - not cold enough to light a fire.... at least not one in the fireplace

Essentially you are "swollen inside". During pregnancy the blood flow to the pelvis increases dramatically. In addition your blood volume expands as part of the normal physiological changes associated with pregnancy. So the blood vessels in the pelvis/walls of the vagina/vulva are dilated or larger thus giving the swollen sensation. Your clitoris engorges during arousal - so during pregnancy it engorges even more thus it can be (and usually is) larger then when you are not pregnant. Some women actually have vulvar or vaginal varicosities (essentially the same thing as varicose veins in the legs these just happen to be in the vagina or vulva) which can be very uncomfortable and maybe painful. The hormone changes associated with pregnancy can lead to an increase in vaginal secretions, but not always. Because the vaginal walls can be swollen sometimes the amount of vaginal secretions decrease since the ducts are partially obstructed. If the lubricant you are using isn't helping - try a different kind - just because it's what you use when not pregnant doesn't mean it will work for you when you are. As for the increase sensitivity - the reason for this is related to hormone changes as well as blood flow changes. For some women the increased sensitivity is significant for others there is little to no increased sensitivity. As the pregnancy progresses there are a number of physiologic changes that increase the amount of discomfort a woman may have. The mose common ones include - increased pressure on the bladder as the uterus increases in size (this is most noticable in the 3rd trimester), round ligment stretching - pain is typically on the lateral aspects of the abdomen, may radiate to the belly button, the vagina, the vulva or down the legs - it can be worse during intercourse because the penis can hit the cervix and cause the uterus to move putting addition stretch or tension on these ligaments, a stretching of the ligaments that hold the bones of the pelvis, hips and knees together - again this is more common in the 3rd trimester - this stretching causes the joints to "feel lose" and can cause pain - particularly in some positions such as missionary. Every couple need to figure out what works for them with respect to sex/intercourse during pregnancy as every woman experiences pregnancy differently. As always communication is key. Oral sex is often the "default" particularly later in pregnancy, but not always. Hope some of this information is helpful.

Like Square I have no answers. That said if you are at the point of talking about "wanting the marriage to survive" I'd recommend that you consider counseling. Having someone else asking the tough questions and facilitating the conversation/discussion about what ever issues there might be can help decrease the feeling of "being pushed or attacked".