vanilla_bean

Yes, I can relate. I'm nobody's idea of a "sexpert" but I will speak from the heart. Saying that you just want to please your boyfriend sounds sweet, but it can lead down the wrong road. Sex is a much better experience if you both anticipate having a great time. And it's a lot more fun. It is a risk to bare your soul during sex. What if you get rejected? Laughed at? Ignored? That would cut deep. But sex where only one person is getting pleased gets to be a chore. That's not good enough for either one of you. The longer you wait to open up, the harder it gets to do so. Really trusting your partner and allowing him/her to see that side of you leads to a much deeper level of intimacy. You enjoy orgasms on your own so you already know in your heart of hearts that you are sexual and can have fun. That's already leaps ahead of some women much older than you. It's risky and scary to open up completely, but the payoff (increased trust, greater intimacy, better sex) is worth it. The cost of not taking that risk is too steep. Carpe diem! I'm cheering for you!

Hey, aren't things looking up for you. The tone has really changed since the beginning of this tread. It's great to see your commitment to your wife and so encouraging that you're making progress. Now you're going on a kidless holiday - yay! And your wife has new toys to look forward to- lucky girl!! I hope that both of you have the best time of your lives. thanks for the kind words to Sun Flower and I - it's an ego boost for sure!!

Let me see - I am a momma bear. Do not get between me and my cubs. - I really like skiing. - I can't whistle. - If my life depended on it I could probably still do the Scottish sword dance. - I used to lifeguard in high school - When I was 21 I hitch hiked through New Zealand - I bake Bread - I have traveled in 15 different countries. - I would walk a mile for good dim sum - I'm allergic to eggs. Now you know how to kill me. - My favourite contemporary author is John Irving. - I want to lose a million pounds. OK maybe 15. - I loved the Harry Potter books. Don't judge me. - I don't step on bugs. - I'm afraid of heights. - I'm an optimist. - My New Year's resolution was to always wear matching bra and panties. So far, so good.

A whole new way to play dressup http://www.dickhats.com/

aww that's so sweet!!

Dollface I checked out these sites. They're great. I had no idea there was so much variety. Must get more stockings!!

Best of luck whiskeywoman. Scary and exciting!! Good for you for taking the chance.

I told Hot Husband last night that I wanted to try watching some porn sometime. He started unbuttoning my clothes as we were talking about it and some pretty steamy sex ensued so I'm pretty sure I have him on board with this. Not that I thought that would be a problem. The only problem is that we have teenagers and they &/or their friends are usually somewhere in the house. Telling them to stay downstairs 'cause Mom and Dad are watching some porn would be too mortifying!!

OK, so every woman should own at least one. I had my head up my butt for a long time regarding porn. I think it started in 1st year university when a former nun had us study a documentary. I think it was called "Not a Love Story". We all got all righteous and I formed opinions then. I later learned that that prof was not a person to look up to for many reasons. I am going to make this a project. I am going to watch some porn and form my own opinions. I have seen enough to know that it can be very titillating and that can be fun. I don't know where to start really. I will read the reviews here and see what sounds good. I think Hot Husband will be agreeable to this project.

A local radio station recently ran a poll asking how many women would give up sex for a year in exchange for a new wardrobe. Over 60% said they would be willing to give up sex for a year. Am I just living someplace crazy or do you think this is what women are thinking out there?

This is a fun post. It made me think and all the others are fun to read. 1) In the cockpit of our sailboat. This will take awhile because the boat needs some repairs right now, but totally do-able. 2) In our garage at the lake, during the day, with people outside 3) In general, I think I need a little more discipline.

So sorry for your loss. Will you be having a toy funeral?

By the way, we had a great talk...you know...few words and lots of nods...made up went out for anniversay dinner. I will remeber this night for the rest of my life. jhardhard That is so awesome!! Way to go jhard!! Thanks ThorsNymph. There's always talk about g-spot stim and squirting so I wasn't sure.

What a great post. This most certainly will help others. It shows what a compassionate person you are to share your story.

Is it possible to squirt or gush just from clit stim?

As usual, I agree with iha.

You have be given some great advise, but I want to add to it. I may ramble a bit, but I hope that I say something that is helpful to you. I think that I actually identify with your wife. I too come from a conservative background and had never spoken about sex to anyone. I also have esteem problems, I suppose, and find compliments hard to accept. I have been married for a long time and my long suffering husband had been getting less and less of my attention. Like your wife, I didn't want oral sex, didn't really even want to be kissed. All of that has changed completely. I think that getting her toys is a great first step. That was the beginning of our bedroom revolution. Hot Husband (I always call him that now) went to the city and bought me some toys to play with. This was huge for us. He nervously showed me them one day when the kids were elsewhere. I knew how hard it would have been for him to go to a store and buy these. He told me that he loved me and that he wanted to have sex with me forever. He was so sincere and open that I was totally moved. We had a heart-to-heart about our sex life and I was able to believe that he really did find me desirable and attractive. Jumping ahead, I made good use of those toys and have acquired a few more. I love him and trust him completely. We are so much more bonded than we ever were before. I had no idea, although this may sound ridiculous, that sex was such a vital part of marriage. I feel so much more connected to him in every way. We are so much more open and so much more of a team. It may seem like I'm exaggerating, but honestly, I feel better about myself, my marriage, even about my parenting. Our sex life is,well, amazing lately. There are still times when i hear that nagging voice saying that I am making a fool of myself for being sexual and feeling desirable, but it is becoming dimmer. I guess I'm trying to say that if you can get through this, it may change your lives in an amazing way. I am really hoping for the best for the both of you. Good luck !!

We are still trying to solve this as well. It's not very sexy, but the best thing I've found so far is a diaper change pad. I always keep a stack of towels by the bed as well. This is definitely a downside to squirting, but Hot Husband says if we go though a few extra mattresses during our marriage, he's not complaining.

Sorry if this isn't where this belongs. Have you watched Shayna Ferm's video about the morning after a hookup? It's called Walk of Shame. I think it's hilarious and that she's very talented. I think you can get there from this link. (Sorry, I'm probably the most computer illiterate person you know) http://www.shaynaferm.com/

Thanks for your advice. I've ordered the Pearl Pleasure Stroker along with some TT lube. Good advise about plane travel. He won't be flying, but getting hassled at security would be a very unwelcome surprise! He's going to a conference that we went to together years ago and we had a great time. I'm not going this year and he's kinda bummed about it. I've got a mini bottle of some scotch he likes and the TT order to put in a little gift bag to lift his spirits. Maybe I should get a magazine too? He'd probably like it, but I've never bought a "girlie" mag either.

Here's the deal. Hot Husband has to go away for a couple of nights and stay alone in a hotel, so I' like to send a surprise care package in his luggage. I've never seen a male masturbator in "real life" and most of them for sale here don't have reviews or have mixed reviews. Can anyone give me advise on selecting one? I will have to get the order in quickly if I want to get it in time. Thanks so much.

Hi all I lurked on this site for a looong time, had a few cocktails one night and joined. This is a little out of my comfort zone, but many of the members here seem really sincere and helpful. There have been things that I wanted to comment on, so here goes. I've been married for over 20 yrs and in the last 6-7 months things have really spiced up for us and this site has helped with advise and ideas. I live in a small prairie town and have two great kids. Cheers

Wow!! Write more, please.

Okay, thanks Tyger. That's what I'll do.

The FAQ state that you have worldwide shipping, but when I try to place an order it says "Shipping not available to that address." Is there something I can do?