colletteski

Wow, I almost cried, that's beatiful! I hope you get all of your wishes and more.

Okay so if you remember in April I posted about my frustrations with my husband, and my hiding my toys, etc from him and not knowing how to change things up and make it more fun and pleasurable. Well I'm going to update and ask for some more advice and really open up here, while i'm sure i'll get criticised for the things i'm going to put down here, try not to be too harsh, i'm here trying to straighten out my love life and I know it's really screwed up.... So some more background on hubby and I, we were married right after high school, I had just barely a few weeks before turned 18 and hubby was 19, we were young and still are. At that point we were each others only partners. Our parents discouraged us having sex (my parents actually went as far as to take me out of the 9th grade health class that teaches sex education) and we were reprimanded for any sexual behavior and honestly I didn't know what masturbation or anything like that was. If it werent for hubby (boyfriend at the time) I wouldn't have even known what the hell sex was lol (totally kidding, sort of) anyways, hubby became my boyfriend when I was 13 my parents didn't like him at all because we were best friends right from the start. Then when I was 15 we started exploring a little and messing around with hand jobs, oral sex, dry humping, stuff like that. More or less I would be the only giver at this point, he did sometimes but it didn't feel good to me, he wasn't doing it right and I didn't know what I wanted at all and didn't care at the time because I didn't understand that it would feel good and help our relationship; I guess I was pretty naive to say the leaste. Well after a year or year and a half he got bored with what we were doing and we started having sex. That did somewhat feel good to me, but it wasn't like wow I can't live without it ya know? I mostly just did it to please him and I really enjoy making him happy. In high school we had sex many times a day, 3 - 5 times most days. It was fun and it was something we'd never experienced and something we 'weren't supposed to do' so it was rebelious. I dont' remember at what point he lost his job and he came to work with me at my families business. We stayed together all through high school and right after I graduated we got married (he graduated a year before) that was Aug of 04. We would go to work every day together, come home every day together, do everything just like always. In November of 04 my sister had a baby and hubby and I went to go see her in the hospital, we went home that night and decided that we wanted to have children sooner rather than later. I was on the NuvaRing birth control, the next month when we were deciding to take it out or leave it in, we realized I was already pregnant. When I was about 4 months pregnant I started to become seriously horny. I couldn't control it at all, it was like my clit was constantly engorged even walking would turn me on because it would rub. Until then I had no idea what it felt like to be properly turned on. I just sort of figured that sex was specifically for pleasing our husbands. I was confused and I remember the day that we were sitting watching TV and I just couldn't take it anymore and I went into the bedroom and I lit candles and came into the living room and got my husband and told him how turned on I was and that I NEEDED sex now (lol, I remember so vividly how horny I was probably the horniest I've ever been in my life!) After I told him that he looked at me so disgusted and said that he wasn't going to have sex with me when I'm pregnant because that's just gross. I was really bugged because we had been having sex, it was just this time that he didn't want too. So I went into the bedroom and cried and cried (I can tell you now my hormones were screwed, this probably shouldn't have bothered me as bad as it did) for the 1st time in my life I touched myself because I couldn't handle it anymore, I was soooo horny I needed something! This was also the 1st time I ever orgasmed. Until that day I didn't know if I had or not, I guess I didn't know what orgasm was. I know that probably sounds stupid, but seriously sex felt good, and I was wet so I figured that yes, I must have orgasmed? I was really stupid, I know..... Well through the pregnancy we would have sex when he really needed it and that was about it, I sucked at hand jobs honestly and giving head would make me throw up so it was just when he was really interested and couldn't take care of himself that we would do it. I felt horribly guilty for pleasuring myself then, and I think I did for about a month and never did again because I thought that it was suck horrible thing to do and that only men were supposed to and any woman who did was a nymphomaniac. Fast forward, we had our baby in Aug 05 and I had a c-section our baby was born the day before our anneversary and my husband did not stay at the hospital with me because it was too uncomfortable for him. He came up to the hospital the next day and wanted to have sex at the hospital. That is the one and only time I have ever told him no, the baby was in the room with us or I'm sure that we would have. I went home the next day and we did. then I started into the after baby bleeding and we didn't do it for a few weeks. After the bleeding stopped I wanted to have sex but he wasn't interested because I didnt' look good enough, so I worked hard and tried to get off the baby weight, I did get most of it off but I'm still a little bigger than I was when I got pregnant, I was 150 then and I now weight 158. I dont' think that I look all that bad, I do have a small mommy pooch on my tummy, but I don't know if it's even possible to get rid of, my boobs are still bigger than my stomach. So he's basically been a prude forever, it seemed like just since we got married because in high school we'd have sex numerous times a day but he never has been interested in pleasing me. A year ago was when I got my 1st sex toy, I never told him because he was so against it, I have since told him and aquired quite a few more off of here and tried to use them to spice up our sex life and show him what I want and need. I am going to share here what I'm sure some people will not like about our relationship, and what I know has caused much of our marital problems, but I am hoping with an insight to our WHOLE relationship and sex life I can find some help and figure things out, so, here goes: Okay in high school hubby would go out and party and drink and do things that I didn't approve of and he did it just to make me mad, he wouldn't let me talk to other boys or even my best friends I wasn't allowed to hang out with unless he was there, but he had a friend that I could talk to, it was his best friend and he trusted him, so the friend would talk to me on the phone all of the time, for a good portion of knowing each other he dated my best friend. In fact I met my husband through him. We would talk and my husband was really controlling and wouldn't let me talk to other guys and such and his friend would talk to me and make me feel better when I was having a bad day since I wasn't allowed to talk to a lot of people or go many places without him, the friend was the only other person around to talk to and confide in. I still feel bad for doing what I did but when you get so in depth about things with a person and they seem to care more than the person that is supposed to love you certain things happen, and one night we ended up kissing, the 1st time we kissed I actually was so surprised that I punched him in the eye (lol, I really did feel bad) and I did tell husband about that time since we sort of had to explain his black eye. But we did kiss again one time after that, while husband was out partying I went to the friends house and we were watching a movie and talking about husband and some things that he had said that hurt my feelings and we ended up making out through most of the movie. I wouldn't let him get any farther than that. I felt really guilty for what happened but the friend and I did decide to keep it between our selves just move on. We talked about it sometimes after that, but a while later he ended up getting a girl pregnant and getting in some trouble and going to jail (theft by posession) for a while. While he was in jail husband and I got married and got pregnant and we never talked again after that, he got out of jail and had his baby and at the same time that I got pregnant his girlfriend got pregnant as well. Husband and I lost touch with the friend and we never talked to him until when I was in the hospital giving birth to my baby he was up there as well. I didn't want my husband to talk to him, partly because of things that happened, and party because husband had changed and I didn't want him to get in trouble and go back to drinking and partying again (which he did with the friend often in high school). After coming home from the hospital the friend calls a lot and wants to hang out with husband and I since we have babies the same age and such and I kept telling him that husband was working a lot and that we couldn't and was hoping that he'd stop calling, I really felt guilty for everything didn't want it to happen again and also didn't know if he was still a druggie and such so I just didn't want to hang out at all. after a few months I couldn't avoid him anymore and we hung out and I realized that he had straightened up, he was with the same girl friend that he had gotten pregnant in high school, they just had their second child and he seemed clean. We hung out a few times and then the friend needed to find a new job. Well it turned out that hubby and I were opening a new office for us sepereate from my parents and someone needed to take hubby's place with my parents so we got him hired on. So now we worked with the friend, he and his girlfriend moved into the town that we lived and we would hang out all of the time the friend and I would talk a lot at work and after work and we flirted sometimes, and the friends girl friend and hubby would flirt, she's quite the prudish lady and husband found it funny to tease her and make sexual comments because of the look of disgust she'd give him and seriously we'd all laugh and it was a good time. Then last spring we had a sleep over at our house with the couple and things got really carried away, I was in the mood and wanted some and hubby didn't at all and was being a jerk to me and so was the friends girl friend and we were all outside watching a movie on the front lawn and the girlfriend and I were teasing and trying on my lingere and modeling it for the boys and it was a lot of fun until the girlfriend and hubby started saying how fun it would be if the friend and I had sex. They were saying that it would get him off of her back and me off of hubby's back and everyone would be happy and I kept telling hubby that I wouldn't be happy because I didn't just want sex I wanted a relationship with HIM and they kept egging and pushing and pushing and they had done this often before so I went inside i didn't want to hear about it and I really didn't want to. I went in the house and sat on the rocking chair and was just going to go to sleep when the friend came in the house and was talking to me and telling me that it would be okay just to do it and get it over with and maybe then that they'd be happy. I was really depressed and I told him no and I went back outside and laid by my husband and told him to hold me and he rolled over and told me that he just wanted me to do it so that I would be happy and that he could be happy and be left alone because he just wasn't interested in sex. I was crying and went back inside and the friend was talking to me and talked me into it, and I didn't want to do it, I don't know how to explain it it was 3:00 in the morning and I cried the whole time. After it was over I went outside and told my husband that he can be happy now and I rolled over and was crying and he got mad that I was mad and so I went back in the house and layed on the chair and I couldn't go without talking to my husband and so I went back outside and he said that he and the girlfriend were talking about it and the thought of us having sex had turned them on and that they figured that since we had done it that we shouldn't care if they do (so it became like a swinger thing) and I told him that I can't be mad if he did since I did but I would still rather he have sex with me since that's all I wanted in the 1st place, he told me that I was being selfish and that I should go in the house because they wanted some alone time. I was crying and crying and couldn't stop so I just sat inside and cleaned the house and they apparently went into the camper because when I went outside they weren't there and I tried to go and talk to him and he told me to go away that he was busy. The friend didn't want to talk to me beacuse he wasn't happy either and so he went for a walk. Well the night got over and the next day came and we all went for a hike and while we were hiking I was talking to my husband and telling him what a mistake it had been and that we should never do anything like that again, and he told me that he didn't actually "do it" because he didn't want to and that he was mad that I went through with it and that he thinks that he's in love with the girlfriend and that he thinks that I should leave. I was then crying again and the girlfriend asked what is wrong and so her and I were walking and talking and I told her what he had said and she said that it made her mad that he was lying about it and she didn't know what his deal was but not to worry. So we went home and when we got home and I told him that I wasn't leaving, he left me. I tried and tried to call him and talk to him because then I felt like it was all my fault and I had done something wrong and he wouldn't talk to me, so I finally broke down and called his uncle (who raised him) and he said that he was acutally there but he was talking to the girlfriend on the phone and that he didnt' want to talk to me right now but that he'd call me later. Well hours went by and he finally called me and talked to me for about 5 minutes and then said that he wasn't coming home and that he had to go because he wanted to talk to her and not me right now. I was heart broken. I couldn't sleep at all the next morning I went to my bishop (a religous figure that I trust) and told him what had happened and asked him what in the world I should do because I was lost he called my husband and asked if he would come and talk to him and he set up an appointment and we were all going to meet and talk that night. my husband didn't show. He came home a couple of days later because he had to go to work and he then called and told my parents what happened, but he told them that I had cheated on him and had sex with a bunch of guys. I was furious. When he came home that night we went to the meeting with the bishop and he asked me to leave and we worked out a plan that I would leave and we'd do counseling and see what happens so I left and went and lived with my Mom, who has never liked my husband and pushed me for a divorce but I didn't want a divorce because I do love my husband, I'm not sure why. Sometimes I think I may just be afraid to leave because he's said on many occasions that if I left he'd kill me and whoever I ended up with, but he says it jokingly but it still sticks. I just have been so confused. After a few months I came back home, I found out after the fact that he had asked the other girl if she loved him and she had said no, that's when I was told I could come home it was right around our daughters 2nd birthday and we have been doing counseling every week for nearly a year now. If we talk about our sex life my husband just says that it's great. But then last night I went to help his Mom move and I didn't get home until late (which is about 9 for us, lol) and when we got all situated I opened the mail, and realized that our toys that we bought from here had come, including the male masturbater that was the freebie a week or so ago. I was excited because I am on my period and he's not as into anal sex as I am so I wanted to give him a treat I lubed it up and got him hard and started playing, he really actually enjoyed it, I was surprised because so many of you said that your husbands and such didn't like it. So anyway after it was over we were laying there and I asked him what he thought of it because I was excited to bring a toy for him into the bedroom because he's not comfortable with the toys for me. He told me that he liked it a lot that it actually felt better than me and that he'd rather just have the toy because it's not as much work and that he thinks that toys should be for a personal base and not something to do together. But that he liked it because he's been bored with our sex life. I told him that I was bored too and that's what i've been trying to tell him but he wont listen. I have brang in new toys to play with, both couple ones and for me, and now for him as well and I think it should be things that we do together and seperate but not just one way or the other. I asked him if the things I had been reading on TT were helping, since I've learned how to do much that I dind't know about before and he said it was helping but he dind't like to look at me because I don't look good. I told him that maybe if he's bored he should get on here and read what he can do to not be bored like I've done because I did learn how to give head and he could benefit from reading as well, he flat out told me that he didn't care about if I was pleased just if I could do something more because he needed more, WTF?!? I was really offended and wanted to ask him questions about what I could do about it and he fell asleep! Snoring and all! I stayed up most of the night crying and thinking about everything and then he was mad at me this morning because I seriously couldn't stop crying, he was being a jerk and I didnt' know what to do so I avoided him and now i'm at work and sitting here. Finally I've stopped crying, but it's taken me all morning to type this between working and stuff. But now I need help, I'm thinking about just plain out stopping giving him any type of favor, oral or hand or such until he's willing to return the favor, and possibly even just plain stop having sex because if he doesn't like to look at me and doesn't care about my pleasure or needs why should I care about his?? I'm so lost and confused and dont know where anything is going or what I should do, now he's saying that I should just forget what he said last night that he shouldn't have said it. Well I want to know how he feels and I do want to make him happy but I am burned out, why can't I get satisfaction without doing it myself??? What should I do? Anyone actually get through this whole thing?? Now that I just read it I noticed that I never put the reason I put this, I'm lost on what I can do to please him and make him like me and want me but I am not sure how to get him to care about pleasing me and yes I do fake orgasm, and I know that's wrong, but I dont' know how to tell him that I dont orgasm since I've done it for so long. The fact it that he has NEVER brang me to that stage. I just don't know what to do. Thanks for any advice, ya'll are wonderful

I've used some and didn't notice a big difference at all.. sorry

I don't have time to read all of the replies so I'm sorry if this has already been suggested. I have a lot of back problems, and nerve problems. I take some pills to re-generate the lining of my nerves so I don't get the problem as much, I would have to look at what the pill is called but I know you can get a smaller dose OTC at your local pharmacy, it's just a vitamin of sorts. But with your legs up on his shoulders and you using his shoulders to push up your hips? Even small pressure up on the shoulders of a person with a weak or even barely out of place back could cause pinching of nerves in the lower back. If he does a lot of lifting it could cause the lower back to slide out just a tiny bit, and most people wouldn't even notice until they start to get nerve problems like this. If my back goes out in that area my vagina will go numb. It's really annoying, I hate it, some times it feels like I got a shot of novacaine down there. I would suggest visiting your doctor and maybe even a chiropractor to check his lower back and make sure that everything is where it should be. Hope that makes sense but nerve pinching in the lower back DOES cause that and only after strenuous activities using those muscles or pressure will it be noticed.

Darn it. My hubby's should be here today I think and I hope it isn't like that I was sooo excited lol

Thanks for the tips. I really loved it, he said it kind of freaked him out, but he would be willing to try it again. I dont' want to be "choked" necessarily rather than more held, like LillyElle said like a choker necklace more. I have no idea how to explain it but IHA hit it kindof like a rape fantasy. That sounds creepy, but it's not like that. I just can't explain it. lol I am afraid if I started writing my stories down here I wouldn't be able to stop lol I have this thing where I like people to know my dirty details, I kind of get off on it, having other people think about how kinky and fun I would be lmbo that may be a bad thing we'll see

I think it surprised me so much because he's not one to go for that kind of stuff. I sure hope that he enjoyed it as much as I did so he'll do it again. We're just really started the*kinky* side of our relationship lol (after 7 years, it's about damn time!!) so now I have to find out what it is that I really like and pray tat he'll go along with it. He sat down with me on here and we ordered some toys earlier this week so I can't wait for them to get here. I have some toys myself but he wont use them with me and many toys I have he doesn't know about. I can't wait to open him up and see what kindof a freak he can be

I liked it too! Very clean and wonderful..... Ya'll should look into a mobile application of this site next! It would definately be my next blackberry download

Sweet! I'm excited! Thanks Rob!

Okay so the other day my dh and I went camping, our daughter was at his Moms and so we were all alone, we were teasing and playing a lot, we had a campfire and cooked dinner then went into the trailer to go to bed and I playfully spanked him when he was getting a drink, and he reached over and playfully put his hands around my neck, and OMG I've never been turned on like that. The whole session I was imagining him ontop of me and stroking and tickling my neck and lightly squeezing. I have never had this fantasy before I whispered that I wanted him to hold me gently by the neck and he looked at me like I was crazy but he did, and wow my O was soooo enormous!! But now I can't get that out of my head I have this new fantasy of being tied and lightly choked like in some sort of sick torture ritual but it's HOT!! wow I want to do that!

I think that it would be nice to have a parent board to discuss how being a parent changes your sex life and the Mommy self image topics and the dad's prespective on the new mothers changing and changed body, etc. I came up with this because I wanted to share this website www.theshapeofamother.com because this site helped me be comfortable in my own skin while I was naked after I had my child. I dunno just a thought...

my DH is about 8" and about 3" diameter. I LOVE it, but it took me awhile to get used to it, it hurt for a while especially since he was my 1st, but now that I'm used to it it's wonderful

I love anal only depending on the size of the partner or toy. My DH is way too big it hurts but I have a toy I love it with, and other than dh I have only had 1 partner and I liked anal better with him, he was thinner and I LOVED anal that way....

Okay this is FUNNY... P.S. I love Vagina Vagina Rush The Bucket vagina 10000 Vagina Iron Vagina Okay I seen How to lose a Vagina in 10 days, how to lose a guy in 10 Vagina's lmbo I'll think of more!

ha ha! I like the stairs! For some reason the carpet scratching on my back and the rough texture of the stairs I really like. I guess every girl is different, or maybe I'm just different lol

Ha ha, I've done this before and thought the same thing and when I seen the topic I thought, NO WAY! but yes! ha ha make me lol at work!

Gotta say, I LOVE road sex! We haven't done it since we had our little girl, but we used to all of the time when going on road trips before we had her. Man that was fun! I think we need to take a road trip without the kid sometime!

WOW this is a cool post! Definately good to get to know people since I'm new! Lets see... I met my husband when I was 13 and he became my "boyfriend" at 14 and we were married a couple weeks after my 18th birthday. I have never done any form or drug or tasted alcohol. I have a bone disease that makes me very brittle and I break bones very easily and for dumb silly reasons, the older I get the worse it gets. (My Mom actually thought my husband was abusive until my diagnosis was revealed) I have a very busy work life and don't have many friends outside of the internet because internet socializing is so much more convinient, and I can work on internet relationships from my cell phone or work. I am very flirtatious and many people I do meet notice and like me for that, their wives on the other hand.... DO NOT I have never seen a porno I am a clean freak and my house is spotless to the -T- even in the closets and such. I can't handle clutter, when I get home from work, things must be neat and in place so that I can relax I have never been able to share. I have anxiety attacks whenever someone touches my makeup or hair products or jewlery, just my things, always have. For this reason my husband and I have seperate bathrooms and bedrooms, there is only a bed in mine and he sleeps in my room, but he has his own room for his things like clothes, his chair, his 'things'. I can't explain, he has his own bathroom for his stuff so he isn't into mine and I don't have to worry about him or my daughter touching my stuff. It's so confusing and people think I'm so wierd. I seriously have anxiety attacks when people touch my things. For this reason my bathroom and bedroom are locked at all times and no one goes in there unless I'm there and watching. I have lightened up some with my husband. But I still freak and he respects that. I write poetry, I have never had them published because I have a terrible fear of someone taking my poetry and using as their own. I am very talented though and only share with people that are extremelly close to me. I am terrified of the dark, I can't breath in the dark. I have never been alone at night, I seriously think I would die. I am currently trying to get pregnant.

Thanks Iha! I do have a tendency to make LONG posts, I'm sure now that I'm posting here everyone will see that, lol ooops, oh well. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. Hopefully I can get my man to ease up a bit! It's gotta be a battle I guess, hopefully it will be worth it in the end

Okay so I LOVE LOVE LOVE sexxx, i'm a freak, really. But DH on the other hand, not so much; or not at all in fact. We have been together since I was 14, and married when I had just turned 18. Dating, he was semi playful but more into just sex, no 4play at all. I didn't care then because I wasn't really adventurous, I was into places and timing was all that mattered since we couldn't really just do it at home since our parents didn't approve. Well when we got married it's like he just stopped. Soon after getting married I became pregnant and I was one horny pregnant woman but he didnt' want to touch me at all! He claimed he was afraid he'd hurt the baby. I had never masturbated before but started then sometimes, not often. Honestly I never knew what an orgasm felt like until then, I tried to tell him what I wanted and what would actually 'get me off' but he wasn't interested. He got mad and began to tell me that it hurt his feelings and that he must not please me. Which isn't true, but I would like for him to explore with me! Well I gave up and have taken care of myself for a while now and then last year I was invited to a slumber party at 1st my husband forbid me to go. Basically I told him to bite me and that I was going anyway because it would be fun. He was really quite upset and told me I couldn't buy anything. I did buy a toy and didn't tell him, I also bought a vibrating cock ring to try and thought that maybe if I suggested a couples toy he wouldn't be so against it. He was semi open when that came and we tried it, and it cut his circulation off, it was too small and hurt him. So that went into the trash. I have been lurking on here for a while and have found some great ideas and some awesome new moves, he's been happy and accepting to what I want to do to him in bed. He really enjoys me giving him head and will request it and will do whatever I want to do to him. But he still wont touch me. I'm starting to get offended by it. I don't know why he wont. I have never received oral, I have given it COUNTLESS times and he is pleased by it, why wont he touch me??? I have tried to show him what I want and if I touch myself in front of him or during sex he gets offended that he doesn't please me, same if I try to show him or if I put his hands on me it's like fire he springs away as fast as he can. I just don't get it at all! I got the freebie toy on here last week, the g-spot toy, I have never had a g-spot orgasm because he isn't willing to touch me and I feel guilty if I play with myself because he gets so offended by it. I did tell him that I bought this toy because it's free and I want to try some new stuff. I REALLY want to do bondage I think that would be sooo hot! During halloween I got a costume and dressed up and acted out a little and he seemed interested in that but just wanted to watch the show and not play with me. I don't understand. Any advice??? I would really like him to be insterested in bondage, toys, oral, ANYTHING that would be nice. Ive never even had an orgasm with him and he doesn't know that, I think it would kill him to learn that. Any advice would be awesome! Thanks!

I'm new to the forum! I've been reading the articles for a while now, but now I can post woo hoo!

I despised giving it to my husband until I got on here and read how to actually do it, and now I actually like it, it's fun to see his reaction

My husband knows I'm on here. He is excited because I have just lurked in the past and got good head tips. This is my first post! yay!