cybele

Pinky - you said it the best! I think that half the time we women are our own worst enemies - seriously. It was obvious that the man I was with had no problem with my body - it was all wasted mind worry on my part.

I have the c-section pouch (three sections in less than five years.) Right now, I'm overweight due to a couple of years of life getting in the way. But, even before that, there was little chance of getting my stomach flatter - cut muscle is cut muscle. I recently entered into a relationship (ok, folks - this is your chance for applause hehe.) Anyway - before we slept together (last week!), I was a wreck about my body image. A friend of mine (male) told me exactly what most of you have said, "It's all about the attitude." So, I took a deep breath - and didn't cringe when I was stark naked in the broad daylight of my bedroom. Somehow I pulled it off - probably due to his incredible sexiness. Later he told me that I was the sexiest woman he's ever been with. Actually, I've seen someone from his past - I swear she's half the size I am. God, I must be a good actress! hehe.

Mikayla, Loved the site! Can't believe it's your first blog - excellent job. And it was interesting learning more about you. I'll be done with my MFA in Writing in August. Yes, I know what magical realism is -cyb

Eddy, Sorry to hear that it didn't go well. I hate to add fuel to the fire right now, but opening yourself up is one of the beautiful benefits of being in a solid loving relationship. It should have never been used as ammunition. My best to you both. -cyb

OMG iha! lmao btw: how old are your kids? Can they ride alone? My husband had a difficult time rearranging his shirt on the outside of his pants before getting out of the Haunted Mansion ride. (yeah, yeah... I know.. I'm bad... and I'm sure they have film footage or at least a pic of my hand down his pants on some "banned from this ride again" board.)

Eddy, Truthfully, everyone who has posted in the above has said it better than I could. I'm just posting to let you know that there are probably many more people who agree. First of all, I've been with a man who was not "average" size... but let me tell you, that certainly didn't stop the pleasure factor. First of all, I can't handle a "big" man either - but I knew his size beforehand. Did that stop me? No. His personality, flirting meter, foreplay - all were a "huge" turn on. Pun intended. We had some phenomenal times. I see from your posts that you love your wife and want to make it work. But purposely being cruel, when you've told her that it hurts, is not cool. She needs to learn to stick with issues. Name calling went out in 2nd grade (and btw, I never tolerated my kids calling other kids names even in 2nd grade). Honestly, I think that your wife is fortunate to have someone who is so intent on pleasuring her. I wish she knew that. Don't let this be your last post - especially if you enjoy coming here and learning with us all. You seem to fit in just right here - very caring, compassionate, and sexy. -Cyb

You are soooo pretty! (or should I say it in Rhode Islandese: you ahhh wicked priddy)

Dear Madam, Thank you for your recent order from your visit to our Sex Toys Shop. You requested the large red vibrator as featured on our wall display. Please select another item because that is our fire extinguisher. Sincerely, Sex Toys Shop Mgmt.

Dear Madam, Thank you for your recent order from your visit to our Sex Toys Shop. You requested the large red vibrator as featured on our wall display. Please select another item because that is our fire extinguisher. Sincerely, Sex Toys Shop Mgmt.

What a doll! Cherish these precious years. They grow up way too quickly.

She has amazing eyes!

Angelkisses - you're adorable!

Vanilla and Aiden, Thank you for responding. Perhaps that was more information than what iha or anyone else out there was looking for? It just kind seemed like the most honest response. The anonymity of this site allows me to be that honest. Most of my friends and co-workers, as well as several relatives have no idea why my "Ward and June Cleaver marriage" dissolved, quickly. Just to let you know, my husband (not divorced yet) and I continue to have a caring friendship. I've met his SO and he is very nice (I wouldn't have expected less.) I know that this is what prompted my "being frozen" for two years that I shared earlier. I'm just glad to be on the other side of it now. Thanks again for your hugs.

Iha, Your first sentence was a doozy there. Ahem. Please, feel free not to hold back. Looking back on it now, it's very very ironic that I felt that way. I was just hoping to lend some insight. From what I've realized in my short time on this site is that we're usually not alone in our experiences or thoughts - it's just that most people and places frown on the discussion. I'm finding it a relief. Even though I don't respond to a lot of posts, it's amazing the amount of comments people post that I can agree with or at least understand, never mind the quantity and quality of information. That said, it's not like I went into my marriage, inexperienced. Just something happened during it. Maybe it was a combination of things, like he'd be trying, almost too hard, to please me. Again, I figured that if I touched myself, or had him touch me in like manner, then he'd think I wasn't attracted to him. Other parts of the bad combination was me being tense about responding to him, being exhausted from having three babies under four years old, and the subsequent body image from those babies. But as soon as I got more comfortable, so did our sex life. Heads up now folks. Leap of faith coming at you (as I literally shake while I type this): I loved him. We were married 23 years. It's taking me two years to try to learn not to. I still love him, but not in the same realm. It hasn't been easy. It wasn't a slow disintegration like some marriage ends. It was abrupt because I didn't know that he was such a good actor. And to answer your anticipated future question: No, I had no idea. Like I said, I wasn't inexperienced going into the marriage. What's funny is that you wrote, "has anything to do with your aforementioned refusals to expand your sexual behavior menu." Not likely. Two years ago, he sat me down in the kitchen and told me he was gay. Now y'all know why I'm getting my degree in writing. It's not a "blame game" or "poor me" book. It's been outstanding therapy about taking what life throws at me and two other women I know (one emotionally abused, one emotionally and physically abused) and just dealing with it - making conscious decisions to do no harm, and coming out the better from it. Well, iha... you asked

Eddy, I'm not speaking for all women of course, but only from my own experience. I went through a time when I thought that maturbating or touching myself (especially while I was engaged in foreplay or sex with him,) was kind of taboo since I was married. I even thought it was wrong if he touched me in ways that I might. I figured that he would think that I wasn't satisfied with him or with "traditional" sex. It went on like this until one evening, when we were very relaxed and he started talking about it. We aren't together anymore, but I've overcome those ideas. Don't know if it will help, but just trying to let you understand one perspective.

1. what do you do for a living? : high school senior world literature teacher. 2. children: two daughters, 23,22 and a son, 19 3. pets? 1 fifteen year old yellow lab/shephard mix 4. tats/piercings? I've wanted an ankle bracelet tat for a while. I just can't seem to justify the pain yet. 5. what is in your CD player in your car? hmm.. mostly whatever is on the classic rock station - I can never remember to put a CD in. 6. fav. TV show? Don't watch much TV except: my 22 yr old daughter and I have "Martini Thursdays" while watching Gray's Anatomy. 7. what are you reading? my own thesis due in August: reading/revising, reading/crying, reading/throwing it in the recyling bin, reading/rewriting, reading/smiling, reading/pulling out my hair. hehehe you get the idea...

Pinky, Just want to say that your pics are outstanding. Amazing woman! As for the fwb part... seems like I might be following that fwb path myself. I understand what others are posting about deserving more. Believe me, I understand. But, it's not easy, is it? First, it's seemingly impossible to find someone. And, right now, this is safe for me. I guess I'm torn. I'd rather have someone I can laugh with and have fun with, than worry about the baggage I trying not to carry with me. Or, trying to sort through his baggage to figure out where the hell he's coming from. Anyway, I'm sending out some good energy your way. Keep your spirits high.

Pinky, You are amazing, girl! I have three kids and I certainly don't look anything like you. Fabulous - you should be proud! (I'm so jealous)

I'm not currently in a relationship, but my best friend has been for the last four years. Right now, she's 48 and he's 26. She carded him before she let him in her bedroom.

I accidentally walked in on one in college, and hand still on door handle, I backed back out of the room. Thought a lot about what I saw, but could never quite picture myself participating - sharing. Must be the only child in me.

Thank you all, so much! It's much appreciated!

Aiden, That was a wonderful poem.

Well, I initially joined this forum to answer some of my questions about my own sexuality. But, right now, I need some help. I'm working on a book as part of my thesis for my masters of fine arts in creative non-fiction. I've interviewed one of my friends, who was describing her wardrobe additions since she lost a husband and 120 lbs. One of her additions is what she describes as a leather - sounds like: "boost-y-ay." But neither of us know how to spell it. I thought it was: boustiette, but no luck. I've googled it. I've ebayed it. All in various spellings yet can't come up with one hit. Anyone out there know?

Near the end of my marriage, it was once per week - lots of reasons but also because we were on different work schedules. Before that it was 2-3 times/week, except when a baby was crying. (I feel your pain, Glenn - but wait, it does get better - but then they can walk in on you ) Now, it's just me - from once to 4-5 times per day, depending on the stress I need to relieve.

Thanks iha. I knew about the younger ages, but really didn't know that it was a "genital peak" Excellent! there's something to look forward to!