DADT

Come on Sultry, you've been hitched for 16 yrs. What's he supposed to say? Every husband knows that is the "3RD RAIL" along with actually answering the question "Do I look fat?" My fault. I made it sound like a quick fix. This process may take place over a few days or weeks. You weren't thinking of having a "DEADLY MARITAL SUMMIT MEETING" were you? FATAL! So how long have you been "Horny Mom?" A few weeks? A couple of months? A Year? And are you "offering" or "demanding?" Don't get me wrong. You have every right to expect nice, loving, "cherish-me," "fuck-me," nookie, especially now the kids only need you 98.5% of the time. Its one of the reasons you got married. And I'm not defending hubby's attitude. But you need to use your feminine whiles and intuition to get him to reveal & then bring under control his "Inner Baby." Rationally he knows something profound changed when you had kids. But emotionally he may not have been ready for you to developed a Mommy Brain which he never had to deal with before. He also had to play 2nd fiddle to the kids & be absorbed in fatherhood too. That is harder to do in your 40s than in your 20s. And then I don't need to tell you about how energy sapping raising kids can be. Here's a trick. Pretend you are friends who been apart for a long time. You know you still like each other, but reconnecting back to the way you were will take time. Promise me this. We understand that you are frustrated. But don't get angry. Anger and Sex never mix. He detects you are irritated his "Inner Baby" will say "Fuck You, I can happily jerk off on my own without you!" Instead, trust that your sultriness will bring him back to his senses. Good Luck.

Be honest. Was he patient when your libido disappeared? Or was he resigned to going without sex because he had no choice? Your situation is very common. 40-something with young kids. For the Mum where is the psychic space to want sex during the early years. Outwardly most men try to put on a brave, understanding front. But our inner "Babies" say "Wah! Wah! I didn't even get a weekly quickie or BJ to tide me over. And not I've learned to put my horniness in the deep freeze, she's all wanton again? WTF, am I a light bulb here?" So he's pissed off or depressed about it. So let him vent. Brace yourself and say to him "Give it to me with both barrels. I was sexually absent. Tell me how you really feel about the last 3-5 years." And then just let him run his mouth. Don't even take it to heart. It doesn't have to make sense. Do defend yourself. Do worry about whether he was justified. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong. Just let him be petty. You are giving him a chance to unblock some "Mental Crud" he probably doesn't even know is getting in the way. At the end just say "I get it Honey. Can we start a fresh? I feel like a new woman now. I promise I won't go absent again. I love you and I always have & always will." He will melt, he may even cry. And hold off on all the new, exotic stuff for a while. Just gradually ease him back into the comfy, regular nookie he was used to in the old days for the first month. And then bit by bit add a teaspoon of spice. A bit more Potty Mouth here and there ("OMG my pussy wants your cock so bad. Fill me up"). A random morning BJ with a release in your mouth (if you like that) just for the hell of it. Perhaps a bit more feedback when he licks you to give him an extra buzz (OMG yes suck my clit just like that. You Hero.") Anyway, you get where I going. Sometimes Hubby is like that extra kid you hadn't planned on dealing with. He will realize that you are a red hot babe again once you coax his attitude in a more positive direction.

I thought maybe I might get a small smile & perhaps a hint of a chuckle on April Fools. Did not mean to upset anyone. I too am fascinated by whether the TT girls value "girth" more than "length."

Ahhh "Fuzzy Kittens" & "Group Hugs" & "Lifetime Channel" sensibilities. But I'm talking about the Generic Man, not your Mr. Perfect-Makes-Me-Feel-Whole-Rare-As-A-Unicorn-Sweetheart. You wouldn't want an extra tongue installed? Not even on a trial basis? Its Free. Comes with a Warranty. Guaranteed Extra Strength O each time. Comes with free Chia Pet. Call now while stocks last.

Excuse me! That's Mr. Dork thank you very much.

OK its ready.

Ladies, don't even pretend you haven't fantasized about this. If you could change one thing about Men, what would you ask God to change if she were your BFF.

What in front of all these people? I just can't....it wouldn't be proper......Who would want to know any way?

How do I come up with these things? The aliens taught me to tap into the 4th Dimension of my 7th Sense.

I don't know. Shall I create another poll?

How do we really feel about polls? Live for them or could give a fuck? Only too happy to be included in a random sample of folks responding to the "Do you like the taste of your own cum/love juice" poll? Or do you feel that Western Civilization has done just fine so far not knowing where America stands on this issue within a 3% margin of error? Just curious my fellow TTs.

I actually find it offensive. I think most men do. Its definitely not a turn on. I've seen car mechanics yank engine blocks with more sensitivity. Just once I'd like to see one of the Air-Bag-Chested-Princesses scream "Cut the shit, Looser. You aren't stuffing a turkey. You're supposed to be driving me wild with pleasure. You get paid to be this useless? Fucking treat me like a human being, Jerk." What? It could happen. We aren't really solving dansgirl's problem though. I've met women who were indifferent to oral, but that was because they did not receive enough foreplay. But dansgirl says she hates it. I don't know. Maybe he's biting her or something.

Didn't Doris Kearns Goodwin write the "History Of Sex Toys" before she wrote some fawning book about the Kennedy clan? Tyger, you're absolutely right. As long as you are a bus ride from the produce section of the Piggly Wiggly, you will have plenty of raw material to work with. We all know Mother Nature did not create zucchini to be eaten.

I call it Operation McGuyver Sexploration. Improvise and get your brain all hot and bothered. What could go wrong? Costs less than two Vanilla Lattes at Starbucks, and burns calories at the same time. It'll be on Oprah next week.

See I pay attention to everything you tell me.

Gentleman, never, ever, never, ever, use porn as a roll model for doing whoopi of any kind. You "abuse" pussy like they do in the skin flix, you will get your ass kicked and your balls handed to you. That's no way to start the week. Once you have the green light to go down to the Promised Land, use gentle finger tips & the soft tip of the tongue until she makes it clear that she wants to go from a gentle waltz to an up-tempo salsa and maybe a full-on tango.

Have you tried getting yourself mentally excited before you try to self-sooth? You get the brain rolling along on a really good fantasy its usually not too hard to get the body to follow. Try this. Get your hands on an under ripe banana to use as improvised dildo. Hey spoil yourself and spend the $1.50 on a bunch. Also, do you have an electric toothbrush that could provide some vibration? And I hope times aren't so tough that you can't get some KY lube, or the generic equivalent at the drug store. Now you need some mind candy (unless you were going to watch porn). Try reading this story & fantasizing that you are the girlfriend in this plot. http://forums.tootimid.com/index.php?showtopic=9288 Just a suggestion. Meanwhile, I'll look underneath the cushions in the couch and give you any change I find.

Explain what you don't like about it? Are you self-conscious about having a man's tongue in such an intimate place? Or does it just not feel right? Forgive me for asking, do you masturbate? What do you do when you are alone that your hubby could try to replicate. Do you want to know why it is a problem for him? Arousing you arouses him. You know that right? He's not doing you a favor. He wants to enjoy you as if you were an exotic fruit he can't get enough of. If you can find a way to make this mutually enjoyable for both of you, your sexual connection (and your emotional one) with be strengthen immeasurably.

It was a suggestion for both of you. My guess is you will get as much of a buzz from creating this homemade erotic experience as he will from receiving it. Glad to help.

You have toys right? Do you set aside "Alone Time" every day? Yes? Good. So you want to give him something so scorching hot that he cums thinking of you every time. Something like that? You ready? Get a digital voice recorder with as much memory as you can find. Like 8 KB. Then each day for a week, when you have "Alone Time" time, describe to him what you are doing, feeling, thinking. Pull out all the stops. Tell him how you give the dildo a pretend BJ. How does that feel in your mouth. How you wish it really was his cock so you could drink his seed. Tell him how you stroke your boobs. Tell him how much that turns you on. Ask him if he can imagine how hard your nipples are. And of course, tell him exactly how it feels when you insert your favorite toy, and rub your clit....or whatever you do to get your naughty bits excited. When you have sex do you do something that drives him beserk? For instance, does he love to fuck you doggy style? What do you do and say when he does that? Do you want him to pull your hair? Grab your ass? Spanking? Back rub? Do you play with your clit while he pumps you. Do you yearn to feel his cock throb against your pussy lips while he shoots. Tells him everything. Tell him all that in nitty gritty detail. Leave nothing out. Also, make sure he can hear a really solid "happy ending" each time. I mean screaming his name, lots of gasping for breath, lots of "Fuuuuuucccccckkkkkk I'm ccccuuuuuummmmiiiiiing. Oh Honey, you make my pussy feel sooooooooo good. I'm soooo fucking wet!" You will turn him on so much his "little soldier" won't stand a chance. Just a thought.

No good answer to this. Hurts to find out that the person you thought loved you has gone looking elsewhere. I've lived that. But its a different kind of pain not knowing why your relationship has gotten weird, distant, or less affectionate, and why there are so many times when someone is "working late" or "going out with friends without you" more often.

I am not a mind reader. Tell me what you like before or during the event. I hate that "I wish you had done........" look after the fact. I can handle direction. You don't like how I'm licking you. No Problem. What would you prefer? And would you like fingers with that? No? Good to know. What's that. Fuck you harder. Sure. Is that hard enough? Yes. Super. Can you rest your legs on my shoulders. Thought you'd never ask. You want to know if its OK to rub your clit while we fuck? I would love nothing more. Can I have a turn rubbing? PLEASE, JUST FUCKING SAY WHAT YOU WANT. Apart from that, no animals, no golden showers, no poop play. And "no passengers." No lying back and not participating. If I'm going to focus on making you feel good, you kinda have to do the same. If you don't know how, just ask me. I can usually think of something you can do easily to enhance the whole experience.

PURRRRR!

Really. Goodness, Gracious. Well I hope you feel 10 times better now. I aim to tease. I have a couple more out there you might like....They might make you... you know....want to....Oh couldn't possibly say....not in front of all these people.....but go have a look.