Kama

Hello, I edited the original post. It looks like I got an answer to my question. Hope everyone is enjoying their fourth.

I guess so. I am taking a break from posting. I will be back later.

Thanks. I forgot I wrote that. That was from my Indian ex in college, who I blocked out haha.

I need to do a late night vent. I am lucky that I am around good people, who have the common sense to not do mean things or step on my boundaries. In the past, I found it confusing and humorous when people would say "stand up for yourself more. It's your fault that you allow people to treat you badly." When you do speak up , you're still criticized by the same person who told you to stand up for yourself. I think people, who shame you for standing up for yourself, want to push you back down. Or, they want to mess with your head. As I write this, I am surrounded by some lovely people and am grateful for what I have now.

Thanks, rob! I will pm you and explain why I would like some stuff deleted, and I would be open to hearing your feedback

People are very nice and respectful, and I found some nuggets of wisdom in my older threads. I know I made a previous topic on asking how to delete stuff, but it's cool to also look back and be like "wow, that person's intuition was spot on."

I am not sure how normal it is to look over your old topics and feel embarrassed, hehe.

Can I email the mods requesting deletion?

Or is that against the rules. I feel very triggered when I read my old posts and the responses to them. I felt like there was a lot of inaccurate information. If the mods feel like threads have to be put up, I understand. i went and edited a lot of my posts.

I want to delete mine too.

You're kind of like me. Thanks for sharing and I am sorry that you endured trauma. Best wishes to you!

Thanks rc! I think that clarifies my question on what's gay or not. well, not all therapists are sex therapists right? I know it might be hard to not bring your own biases to session. this current therapist specialized in body image and self-esteem, which she was great at. Every person has their strengths and weaknesses.

Hahaha that made my day!

Right. There are grey areas. Calling myself a lesbian doesn't feel right to me. I should add that the therapist thought I was gay, because of the fact that penetration wasn't my favorite act. I only discussed this, due to needing a professional opinion on sexual preferences. She said, "I sometimes wonder if it's bc it's a man. Half of my sexually abused clients are gay." I have discussed this before on this forum that my favorite sex act is giving blowjobs. To me, I still don't understand how I can be gay when an act involving a man turns me on the most. Second, I don't think it's fair to assume that child sexual abuse makes you gay.

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Hi all, i was curious for opinions. A former therapist told me, "just because you enjoy getting intimate with men doesn't mean you can't be gay. My client identifies as a lesbian, and she hooks up with guys." I disagree with this. I have a hard time believing that I am gay, if I feel attracted to men. I told this therapist that I have had sex with men and women. I told her that I like men more, which led her to make her comments. She also said, "you will know when you're gay or straight, depending on who you fall in love with." Um, I know what I am? I did go through a phase where I was exploring my sexual orientation in my 20's. I found out that I liked men more. What is your definition of a gay woman? Am I missing something here? I thought being a lesbian meant that you prefer to have sex and romantic relationships with women

I decided to delete it.

Yes! I do find that the so-called "great guy" that everyone loves isn't that way in relationships. You never know what happens behind closed doors. Friends aren't there to witness the intimate moments that you share. My favorite dating partners weren't the most social guys in public, but they were really sweet and affectionate in private.

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Online dating is popular in my generation. There are quite a few nice people there in my experience. I have met former exes through friends, but I have found my friends' suggestions to be actually the worst. My friends thought that someone would be a good match, but they weren't.