Kace

You're right, we've been trying to conceive. Maybe I'm freaking out over nothing? Being the higher sex drive part of a couple is frustrating and I'm trying to channel the energy elsewhere when possible. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes not. It's probably frustrating for her too putting up with my requests.

I have a friend who once defined "Metrosexual" as "a man that uses moisturizer". I like that definition. So in my mind a man can be metro *and* gay. Or metro *and* straight. Or metro *and* bi. Maybe they don't even have a pre-defined sexual preference? I think metro is more about appearance and personal hygiene than it is about sex.

We had a discussion about it but I'm unsure if anything was resolved. She was surprised that I was upset because she rushed off for work and she apologized for it. That's good, but she still hasn't reciprocated. She told me that while I might regard tiptoeing around her doctor's orders as a "challenge", she doesn't and wants nothing sexual for several more days. I can respect that. I guess I don't understand why she interprets "no penetration" as meaning no sexual contact at all for either of us. I was pretty proud about getting her off without breaking the rules and it hurts a little that what I thought was creativity came across to her as contempt for medical authority. I'm starting to believe we see sex in completely different ways. I've noticed that whenever she mentions sex it's in the context of reproduction. It'll boil down to only doing the bare minimum to ensure she gets pregnant. I fear that once this happens she's going to lose interest in sex completely. And it's not an unreasonable fear - it's happened before. My own view of sex is a tad more complex. I love how Greta Christina put it in her article "Sex and the Off-Label Use of Our Bodies": (http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_christinas_weblog/2010/05/sex-and-the-offlabel-use-of-our-bodies.html) --------------------------- "Human beings took our animal need for palatable food... and turned it into chocolate souffles with salted caramel cream. We took our ability to co-operate as a social species... and turned it into craft circles and bowling leagues and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We took our capacity to make and use tools... and turned it into the Apollo moon landing. We took our uniquely precise ability to communicate through language... and turned it into King Lear." "None of these things are necessary for survival and reproduction. That is exactly what makes them so splendid. When we take our basic evolutionary wiring and transform it into something far beyond any prosaic matters of survival and reproduction... that's when humanity is at its best. That's when we show ourselves to be capable of creating meaning and joy, for ourselves and for one another. That's when we're most uniquely human." "And the same is true for sex. Human beings have a deep, hard-wired urge to replicate our DNA, instilled in us by millions of years of evolution. And we've turned it into an intense and delightful form of communication, intimacy, creativity, community, personal expression, transcendence, joy, pleasure, and love. Regardless of whether any DNA gets replicated in the process." "Why should we see this as sinful?" "What makes this any different from chocolate souffles and King Lear?" ------------------------- For me, sex is that biological process that we humans have taken and elevated to an art form. It's way more than baby making - it fills personal, social, communicative needs. It's what makes me feel tightly bonded to her and without it, we're just roommates that share bills. While she'll say everything to the contrary, her behavior says so much - mostly that she views sex in a strictly biologic way. And having sex just for the sake of reproduction seems akin to settling for the lowest common denominator - settling for microwave food and fluff fiction rather than aspiring to Chaussons Aux Pommes and Franz Kafka. There really is no bigger turn-off than knowing your partner sees intimacy with you as a means to an end. I would love to be a father but not like this. Sorry this was so long, felt like I needed to write it out. I don't really have anyone local to bounce these thoughts off of.

Welcome!

I'm going to talk to her about it when she gets home from work. I should be more level headed then - I was pretty steamed when I posted this initially. This isn't the first time something like this has happened though. I called her out on it the first time and she seemed surprised that I was upset. She's not a cruel person and I'm usually hard to rattle but this'll do it. It's common courtesy, one good turn deserves another right? I wish she'd initiate like I tried to this morning but I'm losing hope it'll happen.

What a great site! I'm constantly reminding my wife that I think her breasts are fantastic even if she thinks they're small. There are LOTS of us guys that prefer a medium to small bust. I have two medium sized hands so it works out perfectly.

Not sure where to put this but I've got to write it out. Might get some catharsis from it. First, a bit of background: My wife had a fairly simple outpatient procedure (to remove a uterine growth) about a week ago which healed up quickly. The doctor's rule was "nothing in the vagina" for two weeks as a precaution against infection. A week ago we hadn't had any sex for 6 weeks so she's a little bit pent up and I'm seriously close to losing my mind. The past couple of days I haven't been able to think straight without a hot and steamy image popping up in my head (and consequently popping up in my pants.) Fast forward to this morning. I lazily stirred awake about 6am-ish. We were laying face to face and she had draped her top leg over mine in a way where she was almost straddling it. I gave a long stretch and she uttered a little sigh and slowly humped my thigh while she was still in a sleepy twilight. I'm sure she was asleep and unaware of it. I was so turned on and pent up that I felt like I was going to boil with lust. I reached over and caressed the back of her thigh and she twitched a little. I drew designs along her inner thigh all the way to the small of her back. She eventually woke up and rolled over onto her back with a grin. "You're going to get me in trouble. Doctor said no sex for two weeks." "No, the doctor said no *penetration*. I can follow doctor's orders." "Now you're just teasing me." "Don't worry, I follow through. I'm not gonna leave you hanging." With that I gave her a chaotic stream of kisses from her mouth, down her neck, chest, then made my way to her first stiff nipple. I paid careful attention to her breasts as she's very sensitive there and I knew it would work her into a lather. A pinch, a slow circular lick, a nibble, a squeeze.... It had been a long time and I could tell she missed it. I had about 45 minutes to work with before her alarm clock decided she needed to get ready for a 12 hour shift. I aimed to give her an orgasm she would remember me by the whole day. My hand had drifted between her thighs, continuing the swirling designs earlier but brushing past her clit every now and then. Every time my fingers made contact she would twitch a little and take a fast breath. I moved my way south and positioned my head between her legs. I nibbled at her thighs and kneaded her butt with both hands. Her own hands were gripping the pillow behind her head in anticipation. I blew a hot breath across the curly tuft of strawberry blond hair on her mound. Even in the dim light coming through the window I could tell her face was blushing red. I took the first labia between my lips and tugged gently, then the other. I swirled them around in my mouth with the slightest bit of suction. I thought she was going to tear her pillow in two so I started nibbling her hood and ran the tip of my tongue under the base of her clit. She moaned and bucked and I kept it up until the pace of her bucking hips became frantic, nearly convulsive. Her clit was really engorged by this time so it was easy to suck it into my mouth into an almost miniature blowjob. Three seconds of that and she was done - her back arched up and she nearly pulled the bedsheet off as she lost control of her lower half. Her knees buckled and she snapped her thighs shut while an orgasm rushed over her. <pant> "Please <pant> too sensitive <pant> I'm done. <pant> She rolled to her side still twitching a little and I moved up behind her to spoon since I know that's her favorite part. Her panting slowed to controlled breaths as she drifted back to earth. The alarm clock went off and instinctively her arm reached out to silence it in one swat. "See? I didn't break doctor's orders." <grin> "Good." She began to sit upright and patted my thigh. I was so worked up at that moment that the simple touch could have sent me through the roof. I was sooo ready. Then she got up and said: "But you didn't include yourself." "Huh?" She walked over to the bathroom and started getting ready for work. I was stunned and so horny my erection was aching in pain. I just laid there staring at the ceiling not knowing what to say. Really, WTF? I curled up under the covers, still sleepy but too worked up to doze off. I could hear as she got dressed, walked to the kitchen and eventually walked out the front door. I guess it's just me and some porn today though it doesn't satisfy anymore. I feel like a doormat right now.

If it works for the both of you, do it. Can't say I've ever had the urge to cross dress but it's not that uncommon. I've been to university drag ball before but I make one *awful* looking woman.

I would definitely be the kinkier of the duo. Things I wouldn't ever consider would be scat (anal is fine if clean), urination, rape fantasy (huge turn off), torture, and anything illegal. What I'd like to try? I've always been curious about pegging. Maybe doing a threesome with DP? I love seeing it in porn, looks fun. I think it would also be nice to lay back and relinquish control - not quite submission in the BDSM sense but I'd love to not have to initiate and do everything in an encounter. Biggest turn-on for me is *enthusiasm*. It's wonderful to be ravished once in a while, even better with gusto.

Ah, I have an obscure one. It's Poe - "Hey Pretty" (Drive-By 2001 Mix) You've got to hear the inflection of the reader's voice. Great song. --------- Keiri suggested we go for a drive In her new two-door BMW coup. In her parking lot we slipped into her bucket seats. Keiri took over from there. At nearly 90 miles per hour, She zipped us up to that windy edge Known to some as Mulholland, The sinuous road Running the ridge of the Santa Monica Mountains Where she proceeded to pump her vehicle in and out of turns, Sometimes dropping down to fifty miles and hour, only to immediately gun it back up to ninety again. Fast, slow, fast, fast, slow Sometimes a wide turn, sometimes a quick one, she preferred the tighter one, the sharp, controlled jerks swinging left to right before driving back to the right only so she could do it all over again, until after enough speed and enough wind and more distance than I’d been prepared to expect taking me to parts of the city that I rarely think of, and never visit. Chorus: Hey pretty Don’t you wanna take a ride with me? Through my world Hey pretty Don’t you wanna kick and slide Through my world I can’t remember the inane things I started babbling about then, I know it didn’t really matter, she wasn’t listening. She just yanked up on the emergency break, dropped her seat back and told me to lie on top of her. On top of those leather pants of hers, extremely expensive leather pants, mind you, her hands immediately guiding mine over those soft, slightly oily folds, positioning my fingers on that shiny metal tab, small and round like a tear, then murmuring a murmur so inaudible that even thought I could feel her lips trembling against my ear, she seemed far far away. Pinch it, she said, which I did, lightly, until she also said pull it, which I also did, gently parting the teeth, one at a time, down under and beneath the longest unzipping of my life. Chorus: Hey pretty Don’t you wanna take a ride with me? Through my world Hey pretty Don’t you wanna kick and slide Through my world Hey pretty My pretty baby Rock it through my world (through my world) Hey pretty (hey pretty) My pretty baby Rock it through my world (my world) We never even kissed or looked into each others eyes, our lips just trespassed on those inner labyrinths hidden deep within our ears, filled them with the private music of wicked words, hers in many languages, mine in the off color of my only tongue. Until as our tones shifted and constants spun and squealed, rattled faster, hesitated, raced harder, syllables soon melting into groans or moans, finding purchase in new words, or old words, or made up words, until we gathered up our heat and refused to release it, enjoying to much the dark language we had suddenly stumbled upon. Craved to, carved to. Not a communication really, but a channeling of our rumored desires. Hers for all I know, gone to black forests and wolves, mine banging back to the familiar form, that great reverent mystery I still could only hear the shape of. Which in spite of our separate lusts and individual cries, still continued to drive us deeper into stranger tones, our mutual desire to keep gripping the burn, fueled by sound, hers screeching. Mine? I didn’t hear mine. Only hers, probably counter pointing mine. A high pitched cry, then a whisper, dropping unexpectedly to practically a bark, a grunt. Whatever. No sense anymore and suddenly no more curves, either. Just the straightaway. To bad dark languages rarely survive…

I consider myself fairly textbook knowledgeable about sex but this map made me sharpen my google-fu.

Parents can surprise you with how frank they can be. Glad it turned out ok.

Are you looking for an external or internal vibe?

You want seriously powerful vibration? http://shop.tootimid.com/hitachi-magic-wand.aspx http://shop.tootimid.com/the-gee-whiz.aspx There is no equal to it. It's an external vibe but it'll launch you into space! You can get attachments on the end like the Gee Whiz which makes it a penetration toy as well. The only thing that comes close to it in power is the Wahl 2-speed and the Eroscillator. The Wahl's second speed is more "throbby" while the Hitachi's second speed is a stronger, higher frequency hum that you won't last 10 seconds on before you cum all over the place.

It absolutely exists! A passionate rendezvous with a long lost ex years ago, "healing" was the only word we both could use to describe it. Those few hours in bed erased years of fear, regret, and sadness over how things never worked out before. We were both smart enough not to try and rearrange our lives for another try at being a couple - but it was one of the best experiences of my life and one I could never duplicate. Sometimes I feel like I'm the universe's chewtoy - having found someone who I'm so sexually in-sync with but so terribly incompatible with in every other way. C'est la vie.

Cut or uncut - we've got the same high concentrations of nerve endings in the same spots. The difference is that with an uncircumcised guy you'll have to (gently) pull the foreskin back. The ridge around the head of the penis is super sensitive, especially on the underside. It's called the frenulum (spot #5 in the link). Pay it close attention with your tongue, hands, whatever. Anything that isn't too rough is going to feel incredible. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frenulum_of_prepuce_of_penis Now with the anatomy lesson over, make sure he knows what works for YOU. Maybe he isn't into kissing, foreplay, cuddling... That's fine. But if it's what you want, let him know it. He should be respectful enough to do what works for you if you're doing what works for him. Fair is fair, and in this case fun.

http://ourtoys.com/images/0568-12-2.jpg That one. It's made by California Exotics but it appears to be a discontinued model now. That tip is extremely precise and the vibration can be concentrated in a small spot.

That reminds me, there are some toys out there that match vibrations to the beat of music! The one I'm thinking of is the OhMiBod. And it looks like Tootimid carries 3 of them: http://shop.tootimid.com/ohmibod-ipod-and-reg-vibrator.aspx http://shop.tootimid.com/ohmibod-g-spot-ipod-vibrator.aspx http://shop.tootimid.com/naughtibod.aspx I think it looks like a fun way to really get into your tunes.

Congrats!

These are the kinds of jerks that give rise to negative stereotypes about men. I can only guess that maybe he thought it was funny or a prank. It's neither. I hope Echo finds someone more worthy of her trust. Maybe the next girl he tries this with gives *him* an STD. Karma can be a real bitch sometimes.

Aneros Attachment Am I doing this right?

I think this project started when I found so many things lacking in prostate toys and started asking "what if?". I have to give credit where it's due - it's a fairly new market and has an uphill climb against deep rooted stigmas. Nexus and Aneros make pretty good products very worthy of consideration. I started with an Aneros Eupho. It hits the right spots but I found it a little small and difficult to keep it where it needed to be. The idea was right though! So I bought an Aneros Helix. The shape is better and it presses harder - I dig the sensation but I'm very impatient. Try after try and I couldn't get over the inevitable plateau. I then decided to go larger - the Progasm. Whoa, it's a biggie. The upside is that it drives up the intensity and feels fantastic. It doesn't use the tabs like the other Aneros models and instead uses a rounded ball for perineum massage. Far less irritation as I never cared for the dime shaped tabs digging into my skin. The downside of its size is that it isn't very maneuverable. I kept thinking that it would be so much better if there was vibration. Maybe that would tip me over the plateau? I eyed the Nexus Vibro for a long time as it appeared to be the right combination of shape and vibration, even if the price was really steep. After much debate I got one. The vibrating part is top notch but it requires an odd lithium battery that's expensive and difficult to find. The ribs along the shaft of the toy are a *terrible* idea. They begin to chafe in no time even when using copious amounts of lube. Since nothing on the market seemed to do it for me, I decided to concoct my own based on what I had available. I found I liked the shape of the Aneros toys but they lacked vibration. The Nexus had a shape I didn't care for (ribs!) but the vibration was there if a tad weak. I prefer very strong vibration. I decided to modify the Eupho since it was the most maneuverable, I hated the P-tabs, and I rarely used it as it was. I know what you must be thinking - chopping up an Aneros? Sacrilege! No matter, it's for science. Using a large, sharp knife I scored the base of the P-tabs until they snapped off cleanly. The resulting shape at the base was almost like a boat anchor - the perfect shape for the next part. I have an old Wahl 2-speed massager that packs a real wallop. At some point I received a mess of freebie attachments for it which means there was a duplicate "spot applicator". It turns out that this attachment is very similar in diameter to the base of the Eupho. I used the same knife to chop the rounded end off of it so it looks like a tube with a flared part in the middle. I then rocked the boat anchor part of the Eupho into the newly cut end of the spot applicator. It's a very snug fit. To keep them together I poured enough epoxy resin into it to cover what was left of the P-tab. Since there was a bit of a rough edge where I cut the spot applicator, I added a ring of silicon sealant over it to be flush with the base of the Eupho. This is the same sealant used for aquariums which becomes non-toxic once it dries - I've let it cure for several days and washed it to be sure. The spot applicator attachment has a built in flare so it can't get "lost". Good thing too since that was the function the P-tabs used to serve. Don't put anything up your posterior without a flared base. The end result is an Aneros attachment for the Wahl plug-in massager. Serious business. I would recommend sticking to speed 1 which is reeeeealy intense but in a good way. If you're a bit crazy and like a thorough jackhammering there is speed 2. It's as subtle as a charging rhino. I took a picture of the new attachment though I don't see any way to post it here. I guess if anyone is interested I could email it. Has anyone else invented a toy for scratching that itch you just couldn't reach?

Which Aneros did you get? I've got 3 myself - Eupho, Helix, and the Progasm. My experience with the Eupho sounds close to what you've mentioned. Feels good, but not thrilling. The Helix is better but still feels small. If you're able to handle something larger, try the Progasm. It's pretty intense and that's to my liking - it may be to yours. But make *sure* you're able to handle the size before buying one. The suggestion to start small with multiple plug sizes is very smart. You may also want to look at the Nexus Glide. It's similar to the Aneros toys but has a more aggressive forward angle. They also have a nice steel rollerball instead of the thin plastic disk found on the Aneros models (except the Progasm). Happy experimenting!

I've had rotten luck with the Energizer NiMH rechargeables - they go bad so fast. I've had the same negative experience with both the AA and AAA sizes using a genuine Energizer recharger. After maybe 2 - 5 charge cycles the charger will flash that the batteries are "bad" and will refuse to charge them. I've tried 2 Energizer branded NiMH chargers and they both did the same thing. I went to the Duracell NiMH batteries and the 15-minute quick charger and have had no issues with them. I love 'em! I'm still using a set of batteries that has gone through at least 50 cycles and they still charge up like they did when I took them out of the package. NiMH batteries cost more but you make up the price after the 3rd recharge. It's like free money after that. If you go the Duracell NiMH route - be aware that there are 2 versions of their NiMH batteries in stores. The ones labeled "Pre-Charged" have a lower milliamp rating than the ones that are not. A higher milliamp rating means the battery has a higher capacity - it will last longer between charges. They work great in everything from digital cameras, remote controls, and oh yes - anything that vibrates.

I know that most cockrings are designed to be worn around the base of both the penis and scrotum. I'm looking at the Duet Touch and it would appear that wearing it like this would place the touch activated part behind the balls - is that right? I'd figure it would be better if worn only around the penis so the touch activated part would provide my partner with some anal stim. The reviews look pretty positive - anyone else have first hand experience with this toy? I currently have a single vibe el-cheapo version of this toy and she *loves* it. Two bullets sounds fantastic.