Hello! New Here And Have A Question

[DLights]

First of all--I am so thrilled to have discovered this site. What a great place to bring questions that I don't want to ask anyone in person! Thanks for being here! I've been lurking a lot, and finally decided to open up a little. I'm just recently experiencing a sexual renaissance in my marriage, and am loving being open to new things and new experiences.

Now the question--How unusual is it for a man not to be able to cum from oral sex? We have oral sex very regularly--it's part of our foreplay almost every time. I have only brought him to orgasm this way once or twice. (in 16 years of marriage!) He usually doesn't want to finish this way. Recently, I told him I wanted him to, and I tried and tried. He was close, but I couldn't close the deal. He was trying to guide me and tell me what to do, but it just didn't happen. Is this totally unheard of? He says it's not a problem with the quality of the BJ, but I'm not sure if he just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. (As a side note, we were at his parents house over Thanksgiving, and had to be extra quiet, etc. It's possible he couldn't relax enough.) He can always make me cum from oral. I've never performed on a woman; is it easier? Or maybe I'm not very good at it. If my oral skills are lacking, as crushing as that might be, I want to know it.

[sass]

I have said it here before, my husband told me, back before we were married, that he had never cum from oral alone. Of course, that put me on a mission. I have not quite gotten him there yet, not without some hand-action or something, too.

I don't think there is anything wrong with your technique, cause I know there isn't with mine! LOL! But I do seriously think it's just one of those things - some men will, some won't, or won't easily.

Just keep trying, I doubt either of you will mind the practice.

[leslieanne]

Does it really matter if he does or doesn't cum from oral? My SO really enjoys oral, but has never cum from it. As he says it feels great, but there just isn't enough "firm" stimulation/friction (and I suck really hard at times) so I don't worry about it. Even with a hand job I can keep him going for an extremely long time if the amount of pressure/friction is moderate rather then strong.

So when I start oral I know at some point I'll switch to using my hands........works everytime!! From my perspective as long as he's loving it - regardless of the what or how - that's all that matters.

[Sunday]

Now the question--How unusual is it for a man not to be able to cum from oral sex? We have oral sex very regularly--it's part of our foreplay almost every time. I have only brought him to orgasm this way once or twice. (in 16 years of marriage!) He usually doesn't want to finish this way.

It's not the best way to finish ( for me, anyway ) Like a lot of things, it's OK now and then, but my hardest, best, weak-in-the-knees mind blowing orgasms come when I'm pounding into her hard, either from the back or in missionary. There is something about the motion of the hip muscles that makes the experience more intense.

Recently, I told him I wanted him to, and I tried and tried. He was close, but I couldn't close the deal. He was trying to guide me and tell me what to do, but it just didn't happen. Is this totally unheard of? He says it's not a problem with the quality of the BJ,

Believe him. To close the deal he just might need the extra intensity of the hip motion and the extra control he has when he's doing you vaginally. That doesn't mean the BJ isn't welcome or good. Go with it. It sounds like you guys are doing OK.

[Sunday]

Does it really matter if he does or doesn't cum from oral? My SO really enjoys oral, but has never cum from it. As he says it feels great, but there just isn't enough "firm" stimulation/friction (and I suck really hard at times) so I don't worry about it. Even with a hand job I can keep him going for an extremely long time if the amount of pressure/friction is moderate rather then strong.

So when I start oral I know at some point I'll switch to using my hands........works everytime!! From my perspective as long as he's loving it - regardless of the what or how - that's all that matters.

Men are different, so you have to communicate. I don't like hard suction myself. It doesn't feel good. The friction of lips and tongue and caressing the boys are where the good sensations come from. Try using your tongue to press his cock against the roof of your mouth and encourage him to control the motion - I love that! I like the sucking to come in after the orgasm, squeezing the last drops down the length of my cock and sucking them out. Don't stop as soon as you feel something come out and leave the guy dribbling for 10 minutes. When he starts to cum, suck him hard and get all the juice before you stop.

[Mikayla1]

Hmmmm, I am wondering with 2 posts now on the same subject, why the insistence on making him cum through oral? My guess is, he is a proficient masturbator and likes a certain 'touch' and that is what sends him over the edge. If you do not have that specific 'touch' (i.e. he likes just the head teased; he likes long, firm strokes) then he may not be able to finish.

I have never had an issue with a man cumming in my mouth - and as a woman who L O V E S the feeling and taste of hot cum dripping down her throat, I will admit I would be a little upset if my parter didn't do this for me.

So, if you are 'on a mission' then I suggest figuring out how he masturbates, then, see what techniques he uses. Employ them on him. If he needs a firmer touch, use it. If he likes a lot of head stim, do that. IF he likes to kneel or stand, have him kneel or stand. Just try to give him what he is 'used' to. Don't give up either. Some women think, 'well, I have his cock in my mouth, he should cum' - and it has been 3 minutes. NO, No, NO. men KNOW if you are into it. They KNOW if you are enjoying it.

Seriously, enjoy it. Devour him. Make him weak with the prowess of your hands, fingers, mouth and tongue. Enthusiasm speaks volumes in this department!

If you enjoy it; he will cum

[DLights]

Thanks for all the advice. No insistence on making him him cum from oral, and no, it really doesn't matter as long as we're both enjoying ourselves. But I would like to experience it every now and then. Something different. The one time that I remember him cumming in my mouth, I found it incredibly erotic and intimate. I loved it. (Maybe it's a control or power thing.) It's good to hear that other men don't finish this way either. But I will continue to give it my best. I think my handjob technique definitely needs work--not something I've ever felt terribly comfortable doing. So I believe we have some tutorials in our future.

[dengxioping]

First of all--I am so thrilled to have discovered this site. What a great place to bring questions that I don't want to ask anyone in person! Thanks for being here! I've been lurking a lot, and finally decided to open up a little. I'm just recently experiencing a sexual renaissance in my marriage, and am loving being open to new things and new experiences.

Now the question--How unusual is it for a man not to be able to cum from oral sex? We have oral sex very regularly--it's part of our foreplay almost every time. I have only brought him to orgasm this way once or twice. (in 16 years of marriage!) He usually doesn't want to finish this way. Recently, I told him I wanted him to, and I tried and tried. He was close, but I couldn't close the deal. He was trying to guide me and tell me what to do, but it just didn't happen. Is this totally unheard of? He says it's not a problem with the quality of the BJ, but I'm not sure if he just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. (As a side note, we were at his parents house over Thanksgiving, and had to be extra quiet, etc. It's possible he couldn't relax enough.) He can always make me cum from oral. I've never performed on a woman; is it easier? Or maybe I'm not very good at it. If my oral skills are lacking, as crushing as that might be, I want to know it.

In the 30 plus years I have had sex or oral sex, I found it very difficult if not impossible to acheive an orgasm. As a matter of fact, I have only orgasmed once from I woman I dated 30 plus years ago who was into deep throating. Since then I can feel the orgasm coming but no cigar. My guess is that for me it has been a lack of style and mmotivation. I usually get the distinct impression that the woman is just doing the blow job because she thinks that's what to do. The one woman I did have one with was really into it and I felt as though I was the only man on earth. When I had trouble having an orgasm with her, she would insert a lubricated into my anus and I would cum like right now! A big part about oral sex either way is talking about it:clear the air and identify your likes and dislikes.