Getting Your Partner To Branch Out

[DLights]

For those of you who introduced toys and other interesting activities into your bedrooms--has anyone had to "coax" your partner? Hubby and I have a good sex life but I think it can be better. I feel that some more creativity is called for. We've talked about it. I have told him I need more adventure. (I think he'd be happy to have missionary sex once a week if left to his own devices). We've made progress. To his credit, he is trying in his own way. (Ex--recently initiated sex in the shower, which was a big step for him! ) But I can't seem to get him interested in toys. I'm ok with using the toys solo, and I'm ok with using one myself to get off during our lovemaking. But sometimes, I want him to use them on me, and he just doesn't seem into it. So, would you suggest just presenting him with one when we're fooling around, and just telling him--use this.? Anyone else who had to talk your partner into this stuff--suggestions?

[ladylove]

My situation was not like yours, but the first time I introduced something new in the bedroom, toy, game, etc... I surprised him. He loved it. Try an erotic game first to break him in. That was our first erotic anything....

[mnjon]

As a guy that had my mind opened for me by a very good female friend, I can tell you that at any time you bring something into the bedroom or any other place could have a negative effect on his ego. I used to hate the idea of having some "toy" bringing a girl I was with more pleasure then what I was able to do, and if I wasn't enough She didn't need me....! Well at that time being close minded and not knowing much... Hey I was only 19... I soon learned that my thinking and the way I felt was far from the truth, it just took me a while to get used to it and to see what this toy was doing to my girlfriend and what effect it was going to have on me because of her weighted sensitivity and enjoyment... SO...!

For me the first time she used it on me to go from soft to hard as a rock I thought, wow.... That was easy... but after she continued and it went from the gentle tingle to the point of OMG... look out I am cumming... it had my attention fully at that point, at that she turned to taking care of her own things, nothing more then her clit and after only mear seconds she had her orgasm.

I guess what the outcome is, is this, bring up the subject and introduce him to your newly bought toy, use it on him a bit and tease him with it, allow him to see how good it feels and let things happen from there, you have to get him to understand that you don't want to replace him with the toy... you want the toy to be a added part of him, perhaps even allow him to tease you crazy with it and not let you orgasm right off.... like wise you do the same to him, because once he feels how intense the orgasm is while using one, you should be good to go from there.

Hope this helps..

[Mikayla1]

Sometimes surprising your lover with something like a toy can be a bad thing - it can totally turn them off. However, sometimes the result can be stimulating. You have to know your partner.

I would suggest talking to him and putting the conversation in the context of enhancing your sex life. Ask him what it would be like to have a vibrating bullet on his balls? Or, how he would like to feel your pussy clenching in orgasm after orgasm while you make love? Make it clear it is for BOTH of you, not just one of you.

Then, I would shop with him. Let him help you. As a woman who came into her current relationship with a bunch of toys, I can't help you with personal experience, but, I do know from hearing a lot of stories from here that it just might take some time! Good luck!

[chilipepper]

For those of you who introduced toys and other interesting activities into your bedrooms--has anyone had to "coax" your partner? Hubby and I have a good sex life but I think it can be better. I feel that some more creativity is called for. We've talked about it. I have told him I need more adventure. (I think he'd be happy to have missionary sex once a week if left to his own devices). We've made progress. To his credit, he is trying in his own way. (Ex--recently initiated sex in the shower, which was a big step for him! ) But I can't seem to get him interested in toys. I'm ok with using the toys solo, and I'm ok with using one myself to get off during our lovemaking. But sometimes, I want him to use them on me, and he just doesn't seem into it. So, would you suggest just presenting him with one when we're fooling around, and just telling him--use this.? Anyone else who had to talk your partner into this stuff--suggestions?

Well, I'm kind of in the opposite position. Been married to the same beautiful sexy woman for 32 years. Our sex life lagged for some time, and I used tootimid to enhance our sex life through toys. On our 31st wedding anniversary we went to an inn on the coast and she gave me a new wedding ring with a copy of our vows, and I gave her a new vibrating dildo. Fortunately, my wife knows I mean well and has a sense of humor. Still, my point is that if you love someone deeply and are faithful, then trying to stir the pot can be a challenge. She's more adventurous than before but still kind of shy after all these years. Maybe it's me.

[SensualWoman]

I suppose the only question I would have is: Does he go down on you successfully? Because if he is successful, then what more is a toy going to do? What I mean is, does he feel competition with a toy? If he does, then he needs to be reassured that it's not gonna replace him. Although, it could be that he just doesn't think that a toy is necessary because you get off with him down on you, or whatever way he uses.

Perhaps you just need to start with handcuffs or something little when it comes to erotic toys.

[garry]

For those of you who introduced toys and other interesting activities into your bedrooms--has anyone had to "coax" your partner? Hubby and I have a good sex life but I think it can be better. I feel that some more creativity is called for. We've talked about it. I have told him I need more adventure. (I think he'd be happy to have missionary sex once a week if left to his own devices). We've made progress. To his credit, he is trying in his own way. (Ex--recently initiated sex in the shower, which was a big step for him! ) But I can't seem to get him interested in toys. I'm ok with using the toys solo, and I'm ok with using one myself to get off during our lovemaking. But sometimes, I want him to use them on me, and he just doesn't seem into it. So, would you suggest just presenting him with one when we're fooling around, and just telling him--use this.? Anyone else who had to talk your partner into this stuff--suggestions?

I was the one who introduced the toys in our marraige! It was after seeing the Trojan commercial for the woman's vibe that you put on a finger. I thought after 20+ years of being together, it was time for something new and exciting to add to the relationship. She loved it so much that I started buying more and more toys for the bedroom.

I'm the one who uses toys on her during foreplay. I find it very erotic to see her squirm and moan knowing I'm the one in control...lol. If I were you, I would just hand him one of your toys and tell him how much you would get off on it and then tell him it's your turn next!!