Newbie slw Posted February 12, 2010 Newbie Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 I have been married for 5 yrs, have 3 little ones and love my husband! I think he is a hottie, thoughtful and an awesome dad. He helps out around the house and he is probably the closest thing to the perfect guy. Problem lies with me. I hve no sex drive. I realize hormone levels change after childbirth and our youngest is 4mo. but we might have sex once a month and if I DON'T STEP UP my great guy may not want to be so great anymore. I have been looking at herbal supplements claiming to enhance female libido, I have tried masturbating some-cause if you don't use it-youo loose it right? Well not working. Although I am a grown woman I am still pretty shy about sex but I NEED some advice so bring it on.Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted February 13, 2010 Members Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 One little one can run you ragged. Two is twice as much work as one, and three is twice as much work as two.Do you get enough sleep? And do you get any vegetative meditative "ME" time?What about stress? Beyond the little ones, any major stressors in life like financial, ailing family members, etc.?When did your sex drive drop off? And how was it before that? Plenty strong or so-so?How has the quality of sex been in the past, pleny good, or just OK? How about now, when you have it?I think exercise is supposed to help, if you can squeeze any in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted February 13, 2010 Members Report Share Posted February 13, 2010 http://forums.tootimid.com/index.php?showtopic=9507I was looking for another old topic and found this one related to your question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted February 16, 2010 Report Share Posted February 16, 2010 3 little ones, and 35 yrs old? Wow! It's no wonder you may not be "feelin' it". You must be exhausted! Yes, having kids can wear you down, emotionally and hormonally. I would tend to stay away from herbal stuff, unless your GYN recommends them. There are so many things out there that can do more harm than good, which is why they always have those "These statements have not been approved/studied by the FDA" or something to that affect. Call your GYN and make an appointment to really TALK with them. They may want to do a blood test to see if your levels are off, and then can discuss where your options may lay. If you're on any sort of birth control, that can also have an effect on your sex drive, ironically enough. Plus, any other sort of meds you may possibly be on. Or, could be a vitamin defficiency. Trust me, your GYN main concern for you should be your sexual health, which includes your sex life with your hubby. They've heard it all, so don't worry about being embarrassed. That's what they're there for. Best wishes and good luck!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 16, 2010 Members Report Share Posted February 16, 2010 I have been married for 5 yrs, have 3 little ones and love my husband! I think he is a hottie, thoughtful and an awesome dad. He helps out around the house and he is probably the closest thing to the perfect guy. Problem lies with me. I hve no sex drive. I realize hormone levels change after childbirth and our youngest is 4mo. but we might have sex once a month and if I DON'T STEP UP my great guy may not want to be so great anymore. I have been looking at herbal supplements claiming to enhance female libido, I have tried masturbating some-cause if you don't use it-youo loose it right? Well not working. Although I am a grown woman I am still pretty shy about sex but I NEED some advice so bring it on.ThanksAre you nursing your baby? You only gave birth 4mths ago. You have 2 other children, your exhausted. It was my experience, that I was not as amorous when nursing the baby. You are still waking with your baby at night, probably, running around with the other two all day, taking care of a home, a husband, making dinner, etc...... give yourself a break. Talk to your husband and tell him you feel bad, but this is a lot. Perhaps if he took the kids for a few hrs on Sat and/or Sun so you could take a nap, then shower and prepare for an evening with hubby. Get take out, one of the evenings, even if it's pizza and give yourself a break, make dinner together the other one. No matter how much or little help you may have, having alone time is imperative to give yourself as well as your husband, in order to get yourself on track in EVERY way.I had 3 children 6 1/2 and under, it's not easy but you will get through it if you remember why you married your man and make time your yourself. Congratulations on the birth or your little one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jhard Posted February 17, 2010 Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 Hello Mrs. Hmmm,I can relate to you, I am a husband married to a woman with a much lower libido than me. I have tried to "help" my wife with this issue and nothing has worked as desired. In our case, I think the bottom line is it is just her. I can only encourage you keep working at this and even if you are not gaining ground, just letting your husband know that you see the issue and want to change it will make him feel better. If it becomes engrained over years, it can lead to resentment and will cause the entire relantionship to become cold like a dead fish. jhard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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