An Issue Combined With Rant....lol

[mailahn97]

Those who have gotten to know me or have read my posts in the past. You know that I have never had trouble achieving an orgasm..in fact I am known for achieving rather quickly and in multiples. In the last 4-6 weeks that has not been the case.

I know because TT wasn't here...just kidding...couldn't help it.

I am imagining it is due to stress. I have recently been for my yearly checkup and I know everything is fine there. I have had other health issues and stressors in my life so I am assuming that is a good part of it. I will say this has NOT killed my drive at all...just the rest of me doesn't want to cooperate. I have heard stories how things like I am going through will kill your drive...not my case. Then again I guess I had so much of it...that it would take a lot to kill mine...lol. I know I shouldn't be making jokes but it is my way of getting through.

Very few people IRL even know I am going through this. I am not looking for sympathy by no means. I have had my really bad days and my good days emotionally, but I have some REALLY great supportive people in my life. They know who they are and I love them for being there and not running away screaming that they have had enough of me....lol. If I haven't shared it with you I am sorry. It is nothing against you but I do have trouble vocalizing what is going on without losing it at times, plus I hate to have anyone worry about me.

Anyway.....anyone want to give me ideas to shut off my brain or do it for me. I really think that is my true problem. My brain has always caused me issues. In fact I joke about it a lot...we say how we just want to lock it up somewhere as I overthink a lot. Yes this is kind of a rant and an issue all in one.

I have tried movies, nice bubble bath, music and no matter what it seems I just get to the edge and can't finish let alone squirting. Which just makes me even more mad at myself. I know that doesn't help either.

[Tyger]

It sounds to me like you've got a lot on your plate, though I'm not privy to what exactly's going on, whatever you're dealing with has a lot to do with it.

It also sounds like, to me, that you're also trying too hard. One failure to orgasm/become aroused, has hit your sexual-self-esteem. It happens. Not everyone will have success ALL of the time. I sure don't. Yes, you can be slightly aroused, and still please your partner, though it's not as much fun. LOL Seriously though, it sounds like you just need to set back, relax, and let go. Tie your brain up, it might like it! <3

[mailahn97]

It sounds to me like you've got a lot on your plate, though I'm not privy to what exactly's going on, whatever you're dealing with has a lot to do with it.

It also sounds like, to me, that you're also trying too hard. One failure to orgasm/become aroused, has hit your sexual-self-esteem. It happens. Not everyone will have success ALL of the time. I sure don't. Yes, you can be slightly aroused, and still please your partner, though it's not as much fun. LOL Seriously though, it sounds like you just need to set back, relax, and let go. Tie your brain up, it might like it! <3

It is a lot on my plate. I thought I included it in the post about what was wrong with me but apparently I didn't. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 Papillary Thyroid Cancer. As far as not talking about it before today only 3 people know I am going through it.It was caught VERY early. I am about half way through the treatments.

I actually have not had trouble at all achieving orgasm. It may sounds strange. This was with masturbation. I guess I should have been clear about it. Thankfully I have a great support system around me.

I agree about sitting back and relaxing...just easier said than done at times. Hell with tieing up the brain. I say just throw it away...it causes too much trouble...lol.

[angelkisses98]

It is a lot on my plate. I thought I included it in the post about what was wrong with me but apparently I didn't. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 Papillary Thyroid Cancer. As far as not talking about it before today only 3 people know I am going through it.It was caught VERY early. I am about half way through the treatments.

I actually have not had trouble at all achieving orgasm. It may sounds strange. This was with masturbation. I guess I should have been clear about it. Thankfully I have a great support system around me.

I agree about sitting back and relaxing...just easier said than done at times. Hell with tieing up the brain. I say just throw it away...it causes too much trouble...lol.

WHAT!?

[mailahn97]

WHAT!?

sorry sweetie. I am fine with it. I just figured for one you have enough going on and secondly only a few people knew as I said. I was not trying to hide anything from you. You are a very good friend as you know.

[Mikayla1]

Listen ladies, the human body is a very complex thing - and a woman's body is off the charts complex! We are a delicate balance of emotion and physiology...and when something upsets that balance [even if we don't know it] then our body ceases to respond as it should or has. As a woman who has been giving herself orgasms since a very young age and then has had little to no trouble achieving orgasm with partners - I am here to tell ya - it happens to us ALL.

There are so many things that can be a cause: stress, pressure, self motivation, hormones, medications, over/under weight, life....the list goes on and on and on.

The few times it had happend to me I could pinpoint the issue: after childbirth (extra stress and hormones) and when my hb lost his job he had some ED issues (made me feel like a failure). Perhaps a handful of other times when I would have trouble for a day or two.

So, what did I do? I stoped trying. Yep, I took an 'orgasm break.' I had sex for the comfort of being with my partner. I stopped masturbating (which was REALLY hard because I am a daily masturbator), I allowed my body and mind to 'rest.' Then, for me, the next time I had sex I was very aroused and orgasmed rather easily.

The thing is, the more we THINK about it and see it as A PROBLEM the more we concentrate on THIS and not on the enjoyment of it.

The thing is SS, if you have not had trouble before witih orgasm then it is not a physical issue but more likely a stress or hormone issue. You have to try and see what is happening in your life that may contribute. For example: being underweight or overweight can change your hormones and the way your body reacts to stimuli; having too much on your mind even if you try to eliminate it can wreak havoc on your psyche; being unhappy with anything from your life circumstances, body image or partner can contribute immensely to it.

I would just try to take the pressure off...take a break....relax....and, give yourself permission to just NOT. My best advice girl!

[Mikayla1]

Listen ladies, the human body is a very complex thing - and a woman's body is off the charts complex! We are a delicate balance of emotion and physiology...and when something upsets that balance [even if we don't know it] then our body ceases to respond as it should or has. As a woman who has been giving herself orgasms since a very young age and then has had little to no trouble achieving orgasm with partners - I am here to tell ya - it happens to us ALL.

There are so many things that can be a cause: stress, pressure, self motivation, hormones, medications, over/under weight, life....the list goes on and on and on.

The few times it had happend to me I could pinpoint the issue: after childbirth (extra stress and hormones) and when my hb lost his job he had some ED issues (made me feel like a failure). Perhaps a handful of other times when I would have trouble for a day or two.

So, what did I do? I stoped trying. Yep, I took an 'orgasm break.' I had sex for the comfort of being with my partner. I stopped masturbating (which was REALLY hard because I am a daily masturbator), I allowed my body and mind to 'rest.' Then, for me, the next time I had sex I was very aroused and orgasmed rather easily.

The thing is, the more we THINK about it and see it as A PROBLEM the more we concentrate on THIS and not on the enjoyment of it.

The thing is SS, if you have not had trouble before witih orgasm then it is not a physical issue but more likely a stress or hormone issue. You have to try and see what is happening in your life that may contribute. For example: being underweight or overweight can change your hormones and the way your body reacts to stimuli; having too much on your mind even if you try to eliminate it can wreak havoc on your psyche; being unhappy with anything from your life circumstances, body image or partner can contribute immensely to it.

I would just try to take the pressure off...take a break....relax....and, give yourself permission to just NOT. My best advice girl!

[mailahn97]

I would just try to take the pressure off...take a break....relax....and, give yourself permission to just NOT. My best advice girl!

Thanks Mik. I have taken a break as difficult as it is as I am pretty much a daily masturbator also. Mine started once I started the meds and was diagnosed so I am sure it is either the meds or the stress from being diagnosed. I think once the meds are done and I can get back to my normal life things will resume.

[sun_flower969]

...So, what did I do? I stoped trying. Yep, I took an 'orgasm break.' I had sex for the comfort of being with my partner. I stopped masturbating (which was REALLY hard because I am a daily masturbator), I allowed my body and mind to 'rest.' Then, for me, the next time I had sex I was very aroused and orgasmed rather easily.

The thing is, the more we THINK about it and see it as A PROBLEM the more we concentrate on THIS and not on the enjoyment of it.

The thing is SS, if you have not had trouble before witih orgasm then it is not a physical issue but more likely a stress or hormone issue. You have to try and see what is happening in your life that may contribute. For example: being underweight or overweight can change your hormones and the way your body reacts to stimuli; having too much on your mind even if you try to eliminate it can wreak havoc on your psyche; being unhappy with anything from your life circumstances, body image or partner can contribute immensely to it.

I would just try to take the pressure off...take a break....relax....and, give yourself permission to just NOT. My best advice girl!

Agree as always Mik <3! ..and SS!! Sorry for your battle I hope you will update us a little bit!

I have to take breaks also, some nights I am just not feeling it, depression, stress, fatigue... all those things definitely affect my sex drive. The number 1 thing for me though is relaxing!! If I am uptight about something I have to literally take a moment and physically calm down and relax... and "turn off my brain" as you say! I try divert my thoughts to the present and whats happening. Usually it helps! Some days though well I just need a break!

Hope things work out!!