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Initiating Sex


Behace

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I have been on this board for a while, never really got the courage to post anything until today. Just last night I was talking with my fiance and she mentioned to me that she has recently started to get annoyed with the way I try to initiate sex/foreplay. This isn't a post for me to vent that she shouldn't be getting mad about this because in all honesty in about the past 1 1/2 years I do really only have two ways to initiate, so I can understand why should would be annoyed. My two moves are when we are spooning, either when watching tv/movie, talking or just laying there I will start to kiss her neck and progress from there, or I will start rubbing her legs or back or what ever is a little sore and then start kissing that area and again progress from there. So what I'm asking is does anyone have any advise on how they initiate sex, or if you are a women what do you respond to the best when your partner is trying to initiate it? I greatly appreciate anyone who can help with this.

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Yes, it is true...we women like a little change in our routine when it comes to sex. I can completely understand what she is talking about -for a long, long time my husband took the 'massage approach.' You know, 'hey honey, want a massage?' Sure, rub my back, thighs...oh, now the front? Oh look, my boobs.....yep, got kind of old. However, he changed it up and so can you! I applaud you for coming to ask for advice and suggestions, and I am sure you will get a lot!

Here are mine:

(1) Surprise her in the shower or when she is cleaning up before bed. Come up behind her, fondle her breasts, be a little more overt and less....romantic.

(2) go to bed naked. Get under the covers and when she slides in, slide next to her and show her what you don't have on.

(3) Make out like teenagers. Seriously. make out - a lot.

(4) Put on a show for her by stroking yourself. Not all gals like this, but I sure do.

(5) Undress her. Literally, undress her.

There, those are some ideas I have. I am sure others will chime in.

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I love it when my husband sends me dirty texts messages... and kind of "builds me up"..

he does this even when we are at home & watching TV with our daughter... and we have to try to stay calm, and wait for her to go to bed. but by the time we are in bed... WOW! it is amazing.

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Maybe start waaaayy sooner. Here is what I did recently: after weeks of not having much time to spend just being together to chat and talk, I made up a nice picnic and put in in my hiking backpack (fried chicken,raw veggies, fresh fruit, water, wine, home made cookies) and surprised her with: 'get dressed for a hike and come with me'. We had a wonderful day of holding hand,s hiking to a natural site we always wanted to go to, and had a nice long picnic and hike. When we arrived home, I was invited to join in the shower, and then...well, you know!

Foreplay begins a lot farther in advance than the sexual touching.

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Maybe start waaaayy sooner. Here is what I did recently: after weeks of not having much time to spend just being together to chat and talk, I made up a nice picnic and put in in my hiking backpack (fried chicken,raw veggies, fresh fruit, water, wine, home made cookies) and surprised her with: 'get dressed for a hike and come with me'. We had a wonderful day of holding hand,s hiking to a natural site we always wanted to go to, and had a nice long picnic and hike. When we arrived home, I was invited to join in the shower, and then...well, you know!

Foreplay begins a lot farther in advance than the sexual touching.

That is SO SWEET !!!

I'm so glad you had a great day.

You are absolutely right, Foreplay begins much earlier.

You created the right mood for much better sex.

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I think its fun when you do things outside the normal routine!

Sometimes he will grope me in the kitchen, Some days he has sneaked into the bathroom while I was in there just to make out for a minute with the door locked. Kissing me in public. Whispering the naughty things he wants to do to me later... naughty texting to each other in plain sight, like at the in laws house!! Kinda fun and silly! Definitely gets things flowing!!

Also there have been a couple times where he just grabbed me, bent me over and took me! Now there was not much foreplay but it did NOT take me long to get on board with that kind of show of desire!

:)

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My DH will give me the most incredible foot massage while watching TV at night sometimes, It's not foreplay, but whatever he want's he can have!

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  • 3 months later...
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Making out does it for me if my wife isn't into it. As soon as her tongue gets involved I know it's on.

So yeah, kiss her passionately (preferably after doing something "romantic" like making her dinner or taking her on a date or whatever) and say, "let's go to the bedroom." That always works for me.

Alternatively you don't even have to go to the bedroom, but that's for another post.

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