Men Who Don't Like Receiving Oral Sex

[Kama]

Here's an experience.

When I was 18, I dated a guy that came from a very conservative and religious family. When I told him that giving oral sex is my favorite act, he reacted with disgust. He thought it was gross to put your mouth down there and that it was degrading. His male friends felt the same way. We talked for a good 30 minutes trying to argue the opposing viewpoint. I said it wasn't degrading, because I liked it. It's just a sex act that people get pleasure from.

He only changed his mind when he actually experienced what a blowjob felt like. After that, his views changed.

In other ways, he still retained some conservative viewpoints. He didn't like using food (like whip cream) during sex, because he thought he was disrespecting food. That sucked for me, because I like using some flavor every now and then.

Just wanted to share. Anybody else dated a man that was against receiving oral sex?

[SensualWoman]

I personally didn't date this guy, but a friend was married to this guy that didn't want anything to do with foreplay! Nothing. Not even lingere. He just goes in, does his thing, and then they cuddle. She has her toys to prepare herself before hand. That is the closest I've gotten to a guy like that... And I must say, I think it is very strange.

[ilovebabyjada]

my husband likes blow jobs.. but he can't get off with them & he can live without them, he's the type of guy that likes to warm up by playing & touching me... but no receiving. thank God he lets me give him blowjobs, he says they are nice, but not great or something he'd 'need'

[hyokahey]

my husband likes blow jobs.. but he can't get off with them & he can live without them, he's the type of guy that likes to warm up by playing & touching me... but no receiving. thank God he lets me give him blowjobs, he says they are nice, but not great or something he'd 'need'

Don't let these kinds of guys fool you; the reason they do not 'get off' is that they have a difficult time in letting themselves receive...this is a sexual growth area for a couple.

[ilovebabyjada]

Don't let these kinds of guys fool you; the reason they do not 'get off' is that they have a difficult time in letting themselves receive...this is a sexual growth area for a couple.

well, he's always had these problems.. i can't even make him cum during sex (i'm sure you've read my "concerned" post... ) we are slowly working on it... wondering if something more medical isn't going on.. and i want it to be addressed with his doctor more thoroughly...

oh!! hyokehey! i have a question that i think you might be able to answer... do you (or anyone else) thing that this could be ED... he can get up, but it's kind of difficult, once he is up, if i do anything like get up and shut off the lights, or get off him for a minute, he goes down again... and with the delayed ejactulation... could it be ED?? or does anyone else have an suggestions??

just wondering..

[Mikayla1]

oh!! hyokehey! i have a question that i think you might be able to answer... do you (or anyone else) thing that this could be ED... he can get up, but it's kind of difficult, once he is up, if i do anything like get up and shut off the lights, or get off him for a minute, he goes down again... and with the delayed ejactulation... could it be ED?? or does anyone else have an suggestions??

just wondering..

YES, YES, YES. I definitely think it is ED - but, to discern the type of ED, you would have to give more information.

(1) How hard is it for him to get an erection?

(2) Can he get harder quicker when masturbating alone without you?

(3) Can he maintain an erection through foreplay, or does he have to go right to sex?

(4) Does he wake up with morning 'wood'- i.e. an erection?

(5) Does it get significantly softer when you are having sex (keep in mind, a normal erection doesn't stay ROCK hard all the time)

(6) If you are having a night when he doesn't think he will get sex (perhaps you are on your period) does he get harder?

(7) Does he ejaculate quickly once sex starts?

(8) Can he change positions and maintain an erection?

OK, answer those and I'll weigh in some more.

[ilovebabyjada]

(1) How hard is it for him to get an erection?

it really depends.. sometimes when he yawns or stretches, he'll get an erection, sometimes when we are in bed, i'll be playing with him, or i'll go down on him & he'll get hard, but he doesn't "feel" horny..... other times, we can be playing with eachother and it can take 20 minutes or more, or not at all for him to get hard.

(2) Can he get harder quicker when masturbating alone without you?

He's never been a "solo-player"... (or that's what he tells me....)

(3) Can he maintain an erection through foreplay, or does he have to go right to sex?

well, like i said earlier, we'll be playing with eachother, sometimes he gets hard, sometimes he doesn't

(4) Does he wake up with morning 'wood'- i.e. an erection?

occassionally... on weekdays he wakes up way before me, so i wouldn't know, but once in a while on a weekend he'll wake up with one.

(5) Does it get significantly softer when you are having sex (keep in mind, a normal erection doesn't stay ROCK hard all the time)

Not during sex (that i know of).. but if I have to get off to grab some lube, or shut off the light, or put my hair up he'll get soft.

(6) If you are having a night when he doesn't think he will get sex (perhaps you are on your period) does he get harder?

No.. he's the type of guy that could live without sex

(7) Does he ejaculate quickly once sex starts?

He doesn't ejaculate hardly at all... 2 nights ago we were going at it, and we were both really into it (the only way for him to ejaculate is selfstimulation) and he started having the "need" to get it out of him.. he was masturbating, and still was unable to ejaculate, eventually his "need" went away....

But last night we were going at it, and he had to get it out.. so he started masturbating & was able to ejaculate within 5 minutes.

(8) Can he change positions and maintain an erection?

only if I can move really fast, but he doesn't have the stamina to be on top, so most of the time our sex is this: we play with eachother for a little bit, i get on him, i ride until I get an orgasm.. I get off & he'll either masturbate or finger me (making me squirt all over)....

hope you can help

sorry for stealing the tread...

[WendyNY]

Kama asked: Anybody else dated a man that was against receiving oral sex?

Don't let these kinds of guys fool you; the reason they do not 'get off' is that they have a difficult time in letting themselves receive...this is a sexual growth area for a couple.

Regular Guy posted ------"See the thread titled "Men I need a translation" in

Sex Talk @ TooTimid.com> Love & Relationship Stuff> Ask A "Sexpert"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

My husband has never LOVED oral sex. He's not "against" it at all though,

but it's just not something that he gets excited about or requests me to do.

I know that he's in the very low percentile of men who don't want or need oral sex !!

I did read the thread listed above and I see that he's not the only male who doesn't love oral.

He's only cum that way in my mouth maybe a couple of times when we were first dating.

I do perform oral on him quite often.

He does enjoy laying back while I fondle him and take him in my mouth,

but it doesn't "excite" him. It "relaxes" him. He could lay there all night.

It gives him the same sensation one might get from a massage.

( Yes, I use my hands, fingers and tongue also!!)

I think it has something to do with the way he first learned to masturbate.

I know this may sound odd---but he only "rubs" his penis on something while masturbating.

He never uses his hands. I've asked him if it's because he thought that it was "dirty".

He said, No, that's just the way he first did it when he was younger and it's always been that way.

I do understand that it's very hard to masturbate and cum in a different manner

from the way you first learned.

You get used to a certain way and it gives you the most pleasure.

He would like to try different ways to masturbate and eventually be able

to be excited enough to cum in my mouth through oral sex.

He mentioned wanting me to use some male masturbator sleeves I have.

He wants me to manipulate his penis with the sleeve on the shaft

while I take the tip of his penis in my mouth.

I have told him that I would LOVE to see him use his hands on himself also.

He knows how much it would excite me.

I do think that a LOT of it does have something to do with not being able let go

and receive as Hyokahey mentioned.

(Combined with a TINY bit of Erectile Dysfunction, some low-desire

and a HUGE amount of stress and not being able to

"shut everything else off in his mind".)

[Kama]

^I had an ex (a different one) that also thought putting his hands down there was dirty. He said he never masturbated, because he thought it was gross and felt it was homosexual. Seriously.

[Mikayla1]

Ufnny:

OK, so you gave me great information, and here is what I think:

The fact that he claims he doesn't masturbate sets off an alarm bell for me. I know that there are some people who don't masturbate, but it is rare. Statistically (as in real, scientific data) less than 2% of men truly never masturbate (with 98% of ALL men having masturbated by their 15th birthday!). Of that low amount, a great number of them have ED or are impotent. So, this leads me to wonder about parental influences causing him to have sexual issues. What does he say about his upbringing and sex?

Ask him if he wakes up with an erection. Just ask him.

You say he could 'live without sex' - this also sets of my alarm bells to 1 of 2 things: ED (when there is a great fear of 'losing it' the desire for sex decreses or Hormonal Imbalance. Sex is good. Sex feels good. Orgasm is great. THere are not many people who 'chose' not to have sex. There is a deeper issue here. The fact that he barely ejaculates can be a hormone issue - or a clogged seminal vessel. Has he had an ultrasound to make sure his pipes are clear?

When he orgasms, does he ejaculate a little, or does he not orgasm?

His need for self stim is not unusual. Many men just become accostomed to a certain feeling, which contradicts what he says above about never masturbating. I would guess, if I had to, that he masturbates a lot more than he says. Otherwise, why would he not want you to be the one to masturbate him? Also, he may have a fear of pregnancy - a deep rooted fear - that keeps him from cumming inside you.

In any case, all of this information points me to an ED or psychological issue that a doctor or therapist should be addressing.

Why does he not have the stamina to stay on top? That is odd. Forgive me if we have gone over this, but is his physically unfit? How about doggy style? That is relatively easy on the male partner?

I would suggest that you see a doctor together - and a therapist - to get to the bottom of some of these issues. Check him for health issues first, then check for other issues.

[shdowulf39]

I agree he might have ED.There is another possibility also.His testerone(spelling)level might be low.It happens frequently in men after fifty.What got me to thinking about this is.He could live without sex.Testerone levels have everything to do with sex in men.If they are low his sex drive just doesn't kick in.

[Mikayla1]

I agree he might have ED.There is another possibility also.His testerone(spelling)level might be low.It happens frequently in men after fifty.What got me to thinking about this is.He could live without sex.Testerone levels have everything to do with sex in men.If they are low his sex drive just doesn't kick in.

Exactly! That is why I suggested he have a hormone test performed!