Have Had Anal, Want To Make It Better/easier/for Comfortable

[gracesexysexy]

i have had anal a few times. i can handle it, i just don't enjoy it. my boyfriend and i have played around with a lot of different toys (beads, plugs, dildos) and have had anal sex of course, but i can never seem to relax enough to enjoy it, or no matter how much lube or what toy it always seems to hurt!

so if anybody has any suggestions, i'd love to hear anything and everything.

i really want to enjoy it!

[Tyger]

It depends on how long you've been trying it, and what kind of lube. So long as you stay lubricated, and are willing to keep trying, I would suggest that you go slow, try different positions, and stay positive. Check out some of the different positions that can be done during anal. It may be that you're just not getting the right spot. Try using clit stimulation DURING anal sex too. Remember, anal can be fun, for BOTH.

And, I would also recommend that you suggest (if you're interested in it) a strap on for you to try on HIM! Trust me, it's very exciting to see your "own" cock!

I'm all for trying new things in any aspect of life, however, keep in mind, not everything is going to be "your thing". It may just be that you don't enjoy it. Things like that happen. But, if you're willing, just keep trying.

Good luck!

[hyokahey]

Here are some thoughts that may help:

With any mutual sexual behavior, I think it's important for two to be well 'connected' at the emotional-psychological-spiritual level as well as the sexual level. In fact, without the first three, the sex may feel at least shallow, and at worse, painful.

How to achieve such connection with your partner? By setting aside enough time to genuinely relax and go slow, by talking not only with your voice, but your eyes and touch as well. Feeling cared for, loved, respected....and highly aroused. Don't fool yourself, all these things take very intentional effort, even work.

Getting in tune with the 'vibe' that makes the connection between two means that both partners need to build their tolerance for intimacy...this is kinda like Mikayla's description of how a woman might become multiply orgasmic: it may be that you have to tolerate feeling over-sensitive for a bit before you break through to a higher level of sexuality/intimacy. Intimacy at this level is not for the feint of heart; it is very intense. If you find that you lose the vibe/connection at any point in your love making, you should stop and re-establish it.

Just as when a vagina is really ready, it is both relaxed and hungry to 'draw in' the penis, so too should the anus be...but of course, there are far, far more cultural and psychological issues present that may make the relaxation and hunger more difficult to achieve.

[12GAUGE]

It depends on how long you've been trying it, and what kind of lube. So long as you stay lubricated, and are willing to keep trying, I would suggest that you go slow, try different positions, and stay positive. Check out some of the different positions that can be done during anal. It may be that you're just not getting the right spot. Try using clit stimulation DURING anal sex too. Remember, anal can be fun, for BOTH.

And, I would also recommend that you suggest (if you're interested in it) a strap on for you to try on HIM! Trust me, it's very exciting to see your "own" cock!

I'm all for trying new things in any aspect of life, however, keep in mind, not everything is going to be "your thing". It may just be that you don't enjoy it. Things like that happen. But, if you're willing, just keep trying.

Good luck!

Not knowing how well equipped your BF is....

It maybe you need a smaller anal toy. Plus he needs to REALLY work your clit into a frenzy too!! That plus frenching, nipple play, spanking whatever floats your boat till you're literally begging for it.

When I'm horny 99% of the time I start with a shower. I turn up the heat in my room. I take some toys in with me. I've got this great slim WP vibe that's not much thicker than a large finger and about 8" long. I take Lil Red (my 1st vibe dildo), MrBig and Doc. Doc is a Doc Johnson toy made for anal. About 1 1/4" by 10" with a nice handle. Often I can ease the Doc in with nary a thought and get some nice strokes in. Sometimes (rarely) I have to start with Lil Red which is only about 1" by 4-5". Usually I start with my fave dick, MrBig. A FABCO BoyToi made for the gay crowd with a nice ballsack to hold onto and a suction cup that REALLY WORKS on tile walls. He's 1 1/2" by 6 1/2" insertable. I gave myself the buttgasm of a lifetime with Big about 5 years ago. I really like to get Big slamming into me doggy style in the tub or on my left side in bed. I'll have a bullet under my balls and it won't be long till I'll be squirming all over the bed. Sometimes I sit on the corner of the bed and bounce on Big while I lean forward. I can only last a few minutes like that as the sensations just get too freaking intense. Back in the shower I'll have as many enemas as needed to get ready. I'd love to have a lover give me my enema. Fifteen minutes of rimming me in there somewhere.

Like Tyger said just keep on keeping on. Smaller shorter dildo vibrators might be a good bet thou. I know for me even if I start small it's never very long and I'll be stroking Big or Mr BigPink or Big Red or any of my other 6 or 7 dongs plus I've still got 4 working vibrators.

Something else you might want to try. There's this stuff comes in little bottles up to 1 oz size. Originally I think this stuff was made for gay men into anal. Some of this stuff had been around since the 70s. I like the Jungle Juice and Rush flavors. You hold the bottle close to your nostril while closing the other and take a long deep breath and hold it as long as you can. Put your finger over the bottle opening or cap it as it will evaporate. The aroma is a strong and heady mixture which for me the sexual feelings go right to my ass and makes the feelings of the dong in my ass super duper!! I don't know if you will have the same experience but I don't see why it wouldn't. This stuff is sold as an incense but I think that is legal baloney. I do know you can't walk around after you take a snort. I really like this stuff as it REALLY intensifies the pleasure for me. If your partner is agreeable to your dogging him with a strapon he'll want to try this stuff.

I've tried ALOT of different lubes. Most recently I've been using ID Glide. It works real well for me. It's water based. It only takes me a dab or two and it gets the job done. I got it for 8-12 bucks at Rite Aid which is a pretty good deal. Other than that I use lube I get at those Dollar stores. At a buck a pop one can easily put away enough lube for a 3-5 year supply. Ya don't EVER wanna run outta lube!!