Clueless First-Timer.

[Emideedoo]

Ok. Sooo... My first toys are on their way, and I'm a little clueless about how to use them. Not that I can't guess and figure it out on my own, but I have next to no experience in inserting anything beyond a slim tampon and, more rarely, my own extremely awkward finger. I usually go the easy route and just hump my hand, ahah.

I'm wondering if there are any secrets to make this easier on myself? A certain way to arrange my legs so my privvies will be more open to the idea? It's funny, I never noticed how LITTLE I know my body until now. I never paid attention. 8(

Ah, not sure if it matters, but I have a glass dildo and a plain lil vibrator coming.

[Emideedoo]

Well, they arrived. And, while the glass dildo is BEAUTIFUL to look at, it was a lot more wavy than I thought from it's picture and I couldn't insert it past the first nub without pain. The vibe was definitely too wide, but I hadn't intended to insert it anyway-- not that I didn't try. Managed to get a couple inches and then said ouch. Ahhhhh well.

BUT! The Ultimate Smooth Vibrator was definitely worth it. Very intense, I spasmed like I'd been electrocuted a few times because I didn't expect it to be such a sharp stimulation on high. I'm thinking it'll stay a favorite, I just need to get a less adventurous dildo to use with next time. *sheepish smile* I guess it's an artist thing, I couldn't resist the pretty shapes and textures.

[sass]

Invest in a good lube, if you don't already have some. There are several available through TT and many have reviews. If you want staying power with your lube, go for a silicone-based one, but be mindful that silicone lube on silicone toys will sort of melt the toy after time, so that should certainly be avoided. However, if you are using glass or hard plastic toys, silicone lube should be fine. There are also several really good water-based lubes, you may just have to reapply more often since water-based dries quicker, usually.

As for positions, I think the best thing to do is experiment and explore to see what works best for you. Start with a vibe on your clit for awhile to get the juices flowing, so-to-speak and then just try different things.

If doing something causes a sharp pain, STOP. However, if it is a sort of pleasurable pain, it may just be that you are stretching your vagina a bit, which is generally not a bad thing. Just remember, sharp pain = stop as tearing is possible.

There are those on here that know a lot more than I do, but these are some tips I can think of. Look through the "how-to" articles on the site as well. They are a wealth of information.

Most importantly, have fun learning more about your body.

[Emideedoo]

I did get the TooTimid Pleasure Gel, thinking a water-based would be the safest bet for someone with sensitive skin- but it really did dry up a bit too fast for me and I had to reapply a LOT during my attempts to insert the vibe.

The pain would start out as a kind of vague, stretchy discomfort, then built up into a sharp ouch if I kept trying. I backed off when that happened because I was scared I might tear something. I'm not really sure how to get myself loosened up enough for a 1.25 inch toy. The dildo was only one inch, but with the wave AND nubs it wasn't working out at all, it hurt almost immediately just putting the tip in.

I think I'll go through the reviews, see which silicone lubes have good ratings, and get myself one of the toys meant for anal, since they tend to be more on the slim slide. Is silicone lube bad for soft plastic too, or just silicone toys? I'll have to do a little more research, yep.

[ToyQueen]

http://www.tootimid.com/pixie-vibe.html

http://www.tootimid.com/vibe-me.html

http://www.tootimid.com/slim-stick.html

These are all vibrators which are less than one inch in diameter. I agree with MsLayD--a small amount of stretching pain is okay-sharp tearing pain is not. Keep practicing! I would suggest LOTS of lube and clit stim to start.

[Emideedoo]

Haha, there was lots of both! I even had a try AFTER my orgasm to see if maybe I'd be more relaxed or something, but by then I was a little too tender to put anything in there.

Thanks for the links- I like the look of the Vibe Me and Slim Stick.

Also, I was wondering if there's a limit to how many inches can go in? Does the vagina have a 'no passing point' that will hurt if I bump into it?

[sass]

Well, when you get to your cervix, you'll likely know it. That, as the opening to your uterus, is what is at the end of the vaginal cannal. And in my experience, it can take a bit of bumping before it really hurts. I am not sure how deep that usually is. I imagine each woman's vaginal cannal, much like men's penises, are all different, but I have 8- and 9-inch toys that I can take all of.

A vagina is built to stretch and then sort of pop back into shape. I have had men with smaller penises than some of the toys I have tell me I feel tight, yet I can also take the "big boy" toys.

[ladylove]

I would suggest an oil or silicone based lube, they typically have more staying power.

As for the stretching like pain, I don't agree with the above women. I don't think any painful penetration is good unless it's your first time, which it isn't. Pain and pleasure etc... is you bodies way of talking to you. Listen to your bodies likes and dislikes.

[Emideedoo]

It's my first time with anything wider than, say, two fingers. I haven't had sex or anything, so I'm not sure how much stretching is just normal discomfort that I have to be stubborn through until I'm accustomed to it, or if it's actually something I should worry about and stop when I feel. I guess that's something I'll have to work out on my own through practice, hm.

Oof, though, vibrator orgasms make me really tense and move around. My legs and stomach feel like I had a full workout yesterday. *laughing* Jeez.

[sass]

Since you have not had sex yet, I would suggest taking things slow, not going too deep, and stopping when the sensations turn from pressure to pain. There can be a fine line between the two, but always err on the side of caution.

[Emideedoo]

Awrighty. I ordered some Swiss Navy silicon lube to help things inch along.

Thanks for all the advice, I appreciate it!

[Tyger]

There's going to be some discomfort because you're a virgin. And, chances are, you are probably a bit nervous before using your toys. That is one of the main reasons why it hurts I believe. Your body isn't use to anything going up there, so the sensations are all new.

Remember to check the measurements very carefully before buying any sex toys. Get out a tape measure and really SEE how big/wide it is. When you become more use to using them/more experienced, you will enjoy them more.

Also, be sure to use lots and lots of lube, stimulate your clit (85% of all women need clit stimulation to achieve orgasm), and learn how your body reacts to the way you touch it. You're not guaranteed an orgasm because you buy sex toys. You need to learn your body, what you like, what you don't like, and get use to that. Practice makes perfect, and the more you try and learn what you like, the better it will be. It just takes time and lots of play time......oh, what a shame, huh?

Watch out for the types of lube you get. Silicone based lubes can NOT be used with condoms (unless it states it's condom-friendly on the bottle), or other silicone toys. It stays slicker a lot longer, but you want to make sure you don't destroy your toys in the process. Trust me, silicone lubes make silicone toys turn to mush. Get a great water-based lube for starters. I like Doc Johnson and the Too Timid Pleasure Lube here.

[Emideedoo]

The vibrator I got is a hard plastic, so the silicone should be ok I think. I bought the Too Timid Pleasure Gel with it in the same go, but it just dries up too quick for me and gets sticky. So it's time to give silicone a shot.

I don't get much pleasure from inserting things exactly, I just really get a kick from... clenching around things? Ahah, I'm not sure how to explain it, I get turned on by clenching my inner muscles, and if there's something in there to feel, it's really nice. I was eyeballing the smartballs, saw that they were too wide to start with, and decided to start out playing with narrow dildos instead. So far, my best luck's been with a... Sharpie marker!

No worries in the clit or orgasm department, I can rub those out as often as I like with a little determination. The vibrator definitely does its job well, even if it does rattle like a monster.