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Infidelity Expectations


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Arnold is the latest celeb to fess up to an affair. But beyond celebs and politicians, it seems a lot of people in regular life are having an affair or their husbands/wives are.

Do you ever start thinking that you might end up some years into the future, and that you'd find yourself surprised if you knew your SO had never had an affair? Not because you expect they would, but because affairs are seeming to become so common.

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Interesting....

I would shocked if my DH did have an affair. Just because high profile people have had their infidelities exposed doesn't make me think my own relationship is in danger. If I care, nourish, and work at my own, it shouldn't be an issue.

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I stopped worrying about if my spouse will have an affair or not. Let me explain, cuz that sounds like I don't care.

I'm on my second marriage. My first husband accused me ALL the time of cheating, which made me think he was the one cheating, since I knew I wasn't. Yep, he was. Found proof.

Before that, in most of my relationships, the guy cheated. Even though they SWORE that it was stupid, and that they weren't sure why exactly they did it, they had. I had only one long-term relationship (4+ yrs) that ended nicely where neither one of us had cheated, we just grew apart, and because of that, to this day, we're still friends, and respect each other for it. I learned with that one, that, no matter how much I stress, worry, threaten, or act psycho, if someone wants to cheat, they will. There's NOTHING I can do, short of tying them up, blindfold, and lock them away, to prevent them from cheating.

I do make it clear that if I find out cheating has occurred, then the relationship is over. O.V.E.R. I've done the whole stress-out thing. And all that did was make me, and my BF at the time, miserable. I'm just enjoying the moment.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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People do make stupid decisions, but cheating is NOT something I could forgive, nor would I expect forgiveness. To me personally cheating is a huge way to show you don't respect your SO. Most affairs happen because someone is missing out on something in the relationship. As a result, goes out to find it in other people. If one is having an issue, or isn't getting what they need out of the relationship, then the respectful and adult thing to do would be to talk to their SO about it. They most likely have seen every ugly part of you, and should know you more than anyone else, so what the hell is stopping you from saying: "hey babe, there is something that is bothering me, and this is what it is."?

Sorry about the rant... :S

A possible reason why many people are having affairs these days is because we are desensitized to sex via tv and internet. Although, affairs were common just barely a hundred years ago, when your wife was your business partner, and your mistress was your love. So perhaps we're taking a step back in our moral evolution?

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Dh and I have a one strike your out rule. he was cheated on by every one of his serious relationships so he knows that once the trust is broken it can never be restored. i personally would never cheat. i didnt get married so i could screw around, i take my vow seriously.

i think it is in mens DNA to spread the seed so to say. but its a mans choice to either screw around or remain faithful to his wife. hubby and i have talked alot about this and both believe that infidelity os a choice a person makes. I expect my husband to honor his vows and remain faithful and he exppects the same from me. i understand men and that they arent blind to other women or that desire to screw, BUT......if you make a vow you honor it and remain faithful. if you arent happy in your relationship you should get out or work on it.

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I stopped worrying about if my spouse will have an affair or not. Let me explain, cuz that sounds like I don't care.

I'm on my second marriage. My first husband accused me ALL the time of cheating, which made me think he was the one cheating, since I knew I wasn't. Yep, he was. Found proof.

Before that, in most of my relationships, the guy cheated. Even though they SWORE that it was stupid, and that they weren't sure why exactly they did it, they had. I had only one long-term relationship (4+ yrs) that ended nicely where neither one of us had cheated, we just grew apart, and because of that, to this day, we're still friends, and respect each other for it. I learned with that one, that, no matter how much I stress, worry, threaten, or act psycho, if someone wants to cheat, they will. There's NOTHING I can do, short of tying them up, blindfold, and lock them away, to prevent them from cheating.

I do make it clear that if I find out cheating has occurred, then the relationship is over. O.V.E.R. I've done the whole stress-out thing. And all that did was make me, and my BF at the time, miserable. I'm just enjoying the moment.

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