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My Rants & My Raves


ReadyToMoveOn

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I am now drifting towards alcohol to numb the pain. I'm sure the self-mutilation will be soon to follow.....again. This is just too much.

Your message is so full of pain and despair. I am so sorry for your loss. But - turning to drinking and self-mutilation over it launches your reaction way out of proportion. Things are bad, but what is the point of making them worse?

Your expectations - no, your DEMANDS - for yourself and your marriage are unrealistic. You have put yourself in a tiny, tiny corner and lowered your horizon of possibilities to the point where you can't see any future but the one you've been imagining. There is another future out there. You may not be able to imagine it now, but it's there. But you will never see or experience it if you turn your back on it and settle for drinking and bleeding.

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The want and desire is fine, the road you choose to follow should you not get what you want is what is unrealistic. Don't let his lack of desire and care dictate your happiness. There comes a time when thetalking is done, the one-sided attempts at reconciliation are over, and you have to be strong enough to realize you are not married to the person you thought you were. Be strong enough to let go of the familiar, the status quo, and make your happiness another way.

Randy.

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^^^ There is your answer.

It sounds like your husband has made it clear he isn't going to show affection towards you.

If you ask the same question 20 times and the answer is "no" it is unrealistic to think if you ask one more time it will be "yes."

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If you were my co-worker and came out with talk about not wanting to live and self-mutilation and such, I would be required to escort you to a mental health professional and stay with you until you were safely under their care. Your posts are cries for help; there is only so much help that back and forth internet banter can offer. Imagine a hand is taking you by the arm and guiding you to someone to talk to who can help you learn to cope with life situations that are not turning out the way you hoped. Self-destruction is . . . well, I just think there are better alternatives.

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Brandy....

Truth of the matter is...You need to either get your husband child motivated, or move on without him...

If it means Divorce, then do so...you need to look out what is best for you right now...And self mutilation and self pity is not the answer...

It hurts, but sometimes the truth does indeed hurt...

Good Luck Brandy...

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Good, you have sought help. If he doesn't work out, try someone else. Sorry about the insurance bit; that can be very frustrating. However I'd like to suggest, if you think you can afford a baby, a thousand bucks is peanuts to pay for your sanity.

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Rant: Now why do you have to go out of your way to pass me on the highway, and then slow down once you're in front of me?

Rave: The chorus of crickets and katydids on a summer evening as twilight fades to night.

Rave: Being way out in the middle of nowhere on a clear night with no town or city lights around, and seeing all the stars up there. And catching the occassional shooting star.

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  • 1 month later...
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Rant: So I come back from a bike ride says to the wife, "two different older fellows today driving by in their cars waved to me as they went by, and I don't know why. I don't know either of them and have never been that way before so they wouldn't have seen me around before or anything."

And she says, "well maybe they waved because you're part of the Old Man Club now," as she gives the white hairs on my chinny chin chin a tickle.

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Rant: So I come back from a bike ride says to the wife, "two different older fellows today driving by in their cars waved to me as they went by, and I don't know why. I don't know either of them and have never been that way before so they wouldn't have seen me around before or anything."

And she says, "well maybe they waved because you're part of the Old Man Club now," as she gives the white hairs on my chinny chin chin a tickle.

Raves - the katydids and crickets are singin' down here in the south tonight too. and ya know what else square? gray is "IN" baby! trust me.

Rants - so are the fucking snakes (sorry they've been bad this year)!!!!!

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Rant

Network news makes me crazy angry and frustrated.

Nora on Face the Nation is an unprofessional bitch with a personal agenda.

sorry - i had to let that go somewhere.

Rave

Hubby comes home today from business trip!

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  • 2 months later...
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Rant: My wife was right about something. Some trivial thing, the details don't matter.

Rave: I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING!! HA HA!! The definition of a word. I pulled out a little known book called a Dictionary and PROVED HER WRONG!

But will she admit it?? Absolutely not. But I know the truth, I know the score. And so does she, even if she won't say so.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Rant: this crazy up & down temperature thing here in East Texas.

Fear (not a rant) I'm scared to death of being back on the dating scene.

Rave: we had a great holiday. I'm getting the decorations down & the house doesn't look like a disaster. :-)

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  • 1 month later...
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Rant ~ Tax season is upon Us, and though I've paid my fair share and more, I'm sure my Uncle Sam will only demand more... Grrrrr....

Rave ~ Its a New Year, so with the New Year brings New Hope... :D

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Rant: My knee is still swollen from the header I took on a walk Sunday, but it's going down. I don't dare stretch to do my home work out until it's gone down more and stopped twinging. I don't want to do more damage.

Rave: My boss bought me lunch today!! Subway, YUM!

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Rant: Apples goofy system of naming their operating systems

Rave: New 64 gig iPad mini !!!!

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Rant: Why the hell aren't I in bed now????

Rave: I'm finally able to get my car fixed!!!! Yay for Tax Refunds!!!

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Rave: I got to sleep in this morning!!!

Rave: I get to get my daughter back from her father's.

Rave: I get to talk with my soonto be ex husband about the divorce papers, go over them with him, have him sign them so I can type them up, have him sign again, and file.

I have no rants today so far. :)

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  • 1 month later...
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Rant: Charlie Horse in the back of the leg. While doing the wife doggie style. Right at the moment of climax!

With all the writhing and wriggling I was doing, trying to straighten my leg out, the wife thought I was having the most awesomest orgasm ever. In reality it was a fizzler, as I had to stop pumping and plunging at the worst time.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Rant: Done with bullshit. I am not someone that you talk to when it is just convenient or that you need it. That road should work both ways and I have a couple of people in my life that are gonna learn that real soon. I bend over backwards for them but yet ask a tiny thing and it was like you asked them to solve world hunger. I am done.

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Well, one of my raves is that it's SPRING!! The pollen has finally settled down. My divorce hearing is on the 29th of this month. I'll just be glad to get this all over and done with. We got 2 new puppies (oye vey!), and things are going pretty well with that. They're only 8 wks old now, so th training will take some time, but I took up all the rugs, so to avoid any permanent ruination. LOL

My rants? Well, my mother forgets how it is to have a full time, demanding job. I know she's here by herself all day long when she visits, but I can't help that. I work. DD goes to school. I just need 10 min when I get home of SSSSHHHHH time to unwind a bit, then she can chat me off my eardrums if she wants! But no. She gets all pissy because I don't want her to lecture me on proper grammar when it comes to my 10 yr old daughter's thesis for karate. She's TEN. They're not grading for grammar, but content. And if it sounds too adult, then they'll question if she even wrote it t all!! DUH. *facepalm*

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