Members wendybird74 Posted February 17, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2012 I think Men in the 30's range are not emotionally capable of relationships, if they didn't find the one in the 20's they seem to me anyway to be more into relationships that have no emotinal ties. They are more focused on the jobs and their toys and friends then trying to find the ONE. I also have a question now that I can ask this question and not offend anyone I know.Why do you think most men are going bald? it seems the men I know in their 30's are for the most part going bald if not already? I love a mess of hair on my man not all over his body but atop his head. I wonder why this is? I think that men are more likely to do the breaking up in their 30's because they have got to a point in life that they have a life style and its hard to mix that with a relationship.I have noticed that with my boyfriend who is in his 40's he wants to have the house the kids the white picket fence funny I thought I wanted that all a few months before I met him but with the wrong people now that I have what I wanted and asked for its not as exciting.I normally date bad boys and now this good guy thing is a bit over whelming for me. I can only handle being around him for three days at a time and the third day I am ready for him to go home. I got so used to being the chaser that now that the tables have turned its not as appealing for me.I think I turned into the guys I have dated is that strange? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted February 17, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2012 I'm a male in my 30's and I'm perfectly capable of relationships. In fact, I've been in one for 13 years now. And I've got a full head of hair.Why is being with a non-bad boy so overwhelming? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2012 I don't know I guess I am so used to my routine that its hard for me when someone is there for every single second of it. He has a heart of gold and when he is in he is all the way in. 100% I guess it over whelmed me because I like to wake up in the morning with my cup of coffee and I like to be up before anyone and he wakes up before me. That is my moment the only one I reserve for myself. its not that he is such a good man its that he is so attentive that I don't have room to breath. our life styles are so different as far as sexually he is not that adventurous. Hes working on it tho but I cannot be the person that moves first or hes over it. I have a pretty high sex drive. Hes quiet by nature I live out loud. his family is June Cleaver ish. Mine is dysfunctionall to say the least. Hes perfect I am a mess and I guess, I am not used to this its new to me. He agrees with everything I say he doesn't argue. It should be the perfect relationship. When I thew my hands up in the air after the last failed relationship saying COME ON ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I told myself what I wanted and a few days later everything I said I wanted came my way I mean almost to a T other then the sex part lol as far as the men in their 30's you met your wife in your 20's look around at your single male friends its just what I have noticed in my dating life maybe its cultural here in the Pacific Northwest most men my age are balding or bald Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted February 17, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2012 I don't know I guess I am so used to my routine that its hard for me when someone is there for every single second of it. He has a heart of gold and when he is in he is all the way in. 100% I guess it over whelmed me because I like to wake up in the morning with my cup of coffee and I like to be up before anyone and he wakes up before me. That is my moment the only one I reserve for myself. its not that he is such a good man its that he is so attentive that I don't have room to breath. our life styles are so different as far as sexually he is not that adventurous. Hes working on it tho but I cannot be the person that moves first or hes over it. I have a pretty high sex drive. Hes quiet by nature I live out loud. his family is June Cleaver ish. Mine is dysfunctionall to say the least. Hes perfect I am a mess and I guess, I am not used to this its new to me. He agrees with everything I say he doesn't argue. It should be the perfect relationship. When I thew my hands up in the air after the last failed relationship saying COME ON ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I told myself what I wanted and a few days later everything I said I wanted came my way I mean almost to a T other then the sex part lol as far as the men in their 30's you met your wife in your 20's look around at your single male friends its just what I have noticed in my dating life maybe its cultural here in the Pacific Northwest most men my age are balding or baldJust from what I have read of you within a few posts, you seem to be describing yourself, as in the 30something year old who is afraid to commit...As for the balding, Im 49, though I do have hair on my head, its not as full as when I was 30...Good luck with your quest... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted February 18, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 18, 2012 I'm in my late 30's and the men in their 30's that I know are trying to find relationships. I can't help but wonder if the people you describe are due to geographical location and the stimulae there. Perhaps it is just the local social structure. Do you generally run in circles with people who are heavily invested in their work so family has to come second? Just a thought.So far as you becoming that which you have dated in the past, well, the only person who knows that is you. I would, however, take a look at your motivations for your desires when you were younger and try to determine if you have really changed, or just become more honest with yourself. I know that is often my own conclusion for myself.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted February 18, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 18, 2012 I think that people tend to look for a certain "type", whether they realize it or not. Some people are just drawn to that type. I have a friend who NEVER would date a "nice guy". The type she went for all had some problems (alcohol, drugs, unmotivated, sometimes abusive ) They were like teenagers, always wanting to hang out with their friends and party. She loved the "chase". Always calling them when they weren't contacting her. Driving around looking for them. She would have driven ME crazy. She wouldn't know what to do with a truly "nice" guy who was at her beck and call every second. As far as your comments on balding men---well baldness is a genetic thing. I do see lots more "Telly Savalas Kojak" men nowadays. Years ago Telly was pretty much the only one who sported that style---and looked good with it also ! For men who are going bald I think they go with the Kojak style with maybe a goatee as it looks more attractive in their eyes than just a bald spot in the middle. There are TONS of attractive bald men. My father is bald. I know my brother takes after him. He did not do well with the thought of being bald--so much so, that he felt the need to go and have a hair piece put on. Some men are self concious about it. Personally I find the bald/ goatee look VERY SEXY. I love all types of looks though.I don't care about how much hair a man has. If I was out there dating again I wouldn't look for a particular type---bald versus non-bald--I'm more interested in how they would treat me and what their personality was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted February 19, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 19, 2012 I'm going to throw out a couple of speculations/hypotheses. I don't have much to go by, so feel free to through darts.In thinking about guys I know, most found their girls in their twenties. Some who didn't either were social misfits (me included). Or they never grew up and never became mature enough to deal with a real relationship, and still have no steady girlfriends in their late thirties and into their forties.As far as more bald men, that happened because men finally recognized that comb-overs and bad toupées looked stupid."When you've got what you want, do you want what you've got?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 Well I feel better I had huge anxieties with him being here this weekend because I wasn't sure how I felt about him. I don't want to be the person that hurts him. He treats me better then anyone has ever treated me. My son loves him and calls him dad I guess that freaked me out a bit. His son and my son are the same age and have the same social issues that they have struggled with and My son calls him Brother that kind of freaked me out. I have been used to being alone and not expecting anyone to stick around. I had a lot of fun maybe to much. My son Lives with his father because it was a better place for him. I had to take care of some things that I didn't realize I was struggling with until I had to deal with it. I have pushed everyone away because it was easier that way. The relationships I have had were filler relationships I guess. This man has some serious issues with his still wife tho papers are filed they are still married she still talks to him like hes her husband. She has health problems, and I believe some other issues I am not sure she is not on drugs. I do care about him but I don't want to get into a tangled mess for anyone I just got out of my own and in doing so I had to change how I look at EVERYTHING so I learned to be pretty selfish. Because sometimes in your life you have to be. You have to put your life jacket on before you can save anyone else you SAVE YOURSELF. SO New relationships I am always careful with friendship or more. Most people searching for new relationships are ending bad ones. I am just starting a better relationship with my son. It scares me to think that he is so in love with the fact of said boyfriend that if this doesn't work it sets him up for a bad time again. He loved my last boyfriend that spent no time with him and we were together for 7 years. Said boyfriend now loves us both and has a great family life. I am not used to that I have a cluster EF family and I don't know how to deal with people that are so calm. His family gets together every night of the week. My family other then my mom and I talk about two or three times a year. Mostly when I call them or plan something. I know that he is really good for me but it does't change the fact that it scares the hell out of me. Just trying to do the right thing and sometimes I spew a bunch of garbage before I figure it all out. I have to break it completely down to see it at its core before I can really grasp it now. Someone that loves you from the second they meet you is hard for me to trust. I am a basket case and he just laughs at me and tells me every thing is going to be ok. I am starting to think it will but that doesn't mean I am not scared as hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 as far as the bald thing, I should clear up my problem with this, My Son's Dad is bald. My Son wants to be just like him, He dresses like him talks like him and wants to be a Mans man like him so my son with a WONDERFULLY BEAUTIFUL HEAD OF HAIR is bald. the last three guys I dated as well as the new one is bald. as far as many of my Male friends are bald it was just an observation sorry if I offended anyone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted February 21, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2012 I'm in my late 30's and the men in their 30's that I know are trying to find relationships. I can't help but wonder if the people you describe are due to geographical location and the stimulae there. Perhaps it is just the local social structure. Do you generally run in circles with people who are heavily invested in their work so family has to come second? Just a thought.So far as you becoming that which you have dated in the past, well, the only person who knows that is you. I would, however, take a look at your motivations for your desires when you were younger and try to determine if you have really changed, or just become more honest with yourself. I know that is often my own conclusion for myself.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wendybird74 Posted February 21, 2012 Author Members Report Share Posted February 21, 2012 I have become more honest with myself, I am afraid of a serious relationship, I do run with people that are extremely Motivated people I have a very hard time with Lazy. I cant stand it. My boyfriend and I had a big talk this weekend I Vocalize every thing he and I just have a different way of dealing with things I was frustrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 24, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 Sometimes we cultivate the very relationships we want or think we deserve and not the ones we think desire..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.