A Few Naughty Ideas..

[Lucian]

Hey everyone..new to the scene here

Anyway..so lately the gf has been expressing a great desire for bdsm and has kinda shocked me at how far she is willing to go.. but not a problem I can keep up. I have bought an under the bed restraint system, whips, blind folds the works...now obviously I know the general idea..tease..bring her to edge a few times, but what I wanted to know was...like the actual dominants in the porn movies..is there a routine? (start with feather end with whip) for example would you first use ice and then heat, is there any order at which you should progress? What are some other ideas, to realllyyy tease?

Thanks in advance

Lucian

[bbarney]

Hello Lucian and welcome to TT. Routine is something that is part of master/slave relationships for couples who really enjoy bdsm. So it really depends on what kind of bdsm you are going for. If you two plan on bdsm to spice up the bedroom and not as a constant ritual then you have many choices to make, and they will be unique to you both. To begin with, you will need a safe word. Even in really intense bdsm there needs to be that safe word. It should be something out of the ordinary that can be used as a clear indicator. In my own relationship we use "red" meaning stop. It also has to be clear in meaning. If she were to say it, you have to stop. You can ask why, but you must stop, and vice versa. Work together to agree on a word that wouldn't normally come up.

The second thing to do is set boundaries if any. If she says no anal for example, then you can't just tie her up and force it. However over time, you may be able to start exploring these options. Some couples find that ideas they were previously against they start becoming open to as they are teased and prodded. These are the foundations for the bdsm play, and they come down to strong communication.

Now you start getting into the kinky stuff. Whips, paddles, restraints, cuffs, bars, you name it. There are plenty of options available which makes the process of choosing your ritual (if you have one) all the more exciting. You can start light as you mentioned with a feather whip, or you can jump into it. I have even read somewhere on here that one couple uses a submission ritual, where the husband leaves the room and she prepares herself at the foot of the bed on her knees at which point he returns and "uses" her. It will depend on how far you both wish to go.

Once you are comfortable with basic toys, teasing, etc, try branching out a bit (assuming she is okay with it). Glass toys are great for temperature play and they can be frozen or warmed up. Ropes are fun (i have heard, never used them) for tying your partner into different positions. I have even heard of things that begin to push limits and explore new ideas. One of these is putting a butter knife in a bucket of ice. When the partner is blind folded and it is run over the skin, it feels like a razor sharp blade but does absolutely no damage to the skin.

As far as just teasing, it can go much much further. There is "forcing" her to orgasm multiple times which I personally find absolutely satisfying when I have her restrained. There is orgasm denial, in some cases couples stop the sub from having an orgasm for days or weeks. There are creams and toys and all sorts of things to add extra sensitivity so even the lightest touch can bring her to the edge. Almost anything is at your disposal if you can think of it.

One thing I think is worth cautioning you on though is using those porn movies as an example of "how to do it". Of course they may have some good ideas, but there is a lot going on that you dont necessarily see. While they are good for gleaning ideas, dont substitute them for experience. Always listen to her as well, and don't get so excited that you lose common sense. I can't even tell you how many times I knew something was a bad idea but got carried away and legitimately hurt her.

I hope this helps, and good luck!

[Sunday]

Welcome to the board. Communication is the most important thing. Why does she want to get into BDSM? Talk to her and find out what she expects to get out of it. Some people like being humiliated and hurt, some like the act of submition and it doesn't have to involve a lot of pain and fancy equipment. There are good forums on the web, you might try asubmissivesjourney dot com. Read a lot of what others have to say about it - you'll find out there is a lot of variation in what people enjoy. You'll get a lot of ideas but doubt any of them will give you a complete "recipe" for what will work for you. You just have to feel it out for yourselves. BDSM porn is NOT a learning tool. It is entertainment only - watch it if it turns you on, but be careful about trying it at home.

[Lucian]

Probably should of made myself more clear...what we both want out of it is just to spice things up..use it to really tease so basically for foreplay. Nothing that dives deep into the pain side, spanking etc is ok. I was just wondering is there any certain way to progress to make the tease even more intense..instead of just jumping between random things e.g. going from feather to ice..then back to kissing. Thats what I meant by routine and if so some good ideas?

Thanks again guys

[bbarney]

For just teasing/foreplay, you only really need to use the toys, and well...tease her. Its just like normal foreplay with the addition of restraints and toys.

[Lucian]

Yeah but theres only so many times you can do the same old things before they become redundant and boring..looking for creative ideads.

[Sunday]

You don't need a lot of fancy toys to just play. Grab a $20 and go shopping at your supermarket.

Your list:

silicone basting brushes

Popsicles

some chopped fruit

kids washable markers

plastic forks

Plastic spoons

use your imagination

Tie her to the bed and blindfold her. Command her to spread her legs. (making her vulnurable by exposing herself to you is a bit of head game, and puts you in contro). Spank her nipples with the basting brush. It's very soft, but if she's not into pain it can be enjoyable. Take a strawberry and run it over her lips, command her to take a bite. Draw and write notes on her body with the markers. Write a word and make her guess what it is. Take a fork and slowly drag the tines over her skin. Watch her face when you drag it up the inside of her thighs. Spank her pussy with the back of a spoon. Make her take a popsickle in her mouth, then rub it on her nipples until they are hard and ice cold. Suck on her nipples and feel them get warm and soft in your mouth. Use the silicon brush to "baste" her pussy with lube. Brush some lube on her, pussy and keep brushing lightly until she comes (this drives my girl nuts).

Repeat.

And use your imagination.

[Lucian]

Those are some awesome ideas haha, never would of thought of the brush. Thanks champ!

[RC4BLUE]

Her and I on them12th floor terrace of a beach hotel with having her pressed,to,the rail while I penetrate her from behind. Then turn her around sit her on the railing wall and please her orally until she begs for me to stop. I help her down and we continue our love making on the lounge chair under the stars over looking the beach and lights of the city. It is a great memory.

[cwgrltinkerbell21]

We have a front yard facing window, he likes to open the blinds, and take me from behind or make me ride him in broad daylight and blinds open lol

When it comes down to it, to fight the redundancy, get creative. If a 24/7 s/d relationship isn't your thing, then don't make it that way. If it is something that you want to make an always deal, then redundancy won't be a problem, you will find things to do and different ways to achieve what you are after.

Good luck!

[Sunshine Sam218]

Ask your girlfriend what she likes about it and write down a list on what she'll be willing to do. Talk to her and listen to her carefullly, there's on forms of bondage, she might like it rough and than there's light bondage which I'm into cause I personally don't like whips or anything. If anything I prefer paddles over whips anyday and ask her how rough is too rough. What are you're turns offs? It's best to ask these kinds of questions before you get started. Than the fun part is to go shopping, sometimes they'll say bondage kits which sells everything together. Tie her up and use toys on her until she's getting ready to have an orgasmn and than stop out of nowhere; than ask her to beg for you to use the toy on her again. Using toys is a great way to tease. You could also use ice, that's another great way. Everyone is different, just remember to talk to her and ask her what's she's willing to try and what wouldn't work for her. Have fun and remember be safe!