Rant About How Bisexuality Is Perceived

[Kama]

Hello all,

I trust that most of you are open-minded. On another forum that I no longer post on, I was a bit surprised at how simply mentioning the term bisexual made male posters assume that this means having female lovers on the side or how she will leave her husband for another woman. Their exact words were, "I don't want to be some third wheel to another dyke competing for my wife's vagina." Wow, are you so insecure about yourself where you think your woman will leave you?

Look, so many straight people cheat. Hell, I have therapist friends that say their straight female clients are having more affairs than the men. If you think marrying a straight woman over a bisexual woman is going to decrease cheating, think again.

I identify as bisexual, but I have never cheated. I have no intentions either .When I'm with someone, I want to worship them and respect their wishes. To me, bisexual is just having sexual feelings and experience for both genders. Since many straight people have to smash their impulse for feeling attraction to other members of the opposite sex, I think it's totally possible for a bisexual to not act on their same-sex attraction.

These male posters also told me, "Most men wouldn't want to get involved with a bisexual woman. You're going to have a really hard time." Well, it's not like I do anything bad. I'm loyal. I have a good job. I pay my bills. I believe in caring for and pampering my partner. I want to fall in love and have kids. What's the problem here?

[square]

Are these guys of all ages and from all walks of life? They sound immature. Or neanderthalish.

[Kama]

They were men in their 40's and 50's, and divorced. Nothing against divorced people or older people, but I wonder if insecurity is a factor here.

As a single woman that's fairly young (30), I also felt insecure hearing those comments. I don't want to feel as if my chances of marriage are ruined.

I would only have sex with another woman, if my future husband was okay with it. If he says "No, that will hurt me," I will respect his wish.

[Tyger]

I have seen many people my age & older bash bisexuality. Most say "why not just pick one gender since it's all in your head anyway. I think that's b.s. I don't think it's an age thing, really, but more about how you were raised &, possibly, your religious beliefs.

Personally, (& being 40 has nothing to do with it), I think that acknowledging & accepting you're bisexual, it opens up your heart for so many more options for love.

[Kama]

See, I think sexuality is very fluid and complex. It's not black and white. I've seen women that believed they were straight for many years with their husbands, and then left him for another woman. Or, the man that likes to receive a strap-on from his woman.

I think being bisexual also means you look at the person and not the gender.

[Kama]

It turns out the man that told me how I was more likely to cheat ended up being a cheater himself! He revealed how he cheated on hos wife, and it ruined his marriage. It's hilarious how people project their actions onto you. Good luck to them.

[Tyger]

Again, I'm rereading some old posts. I have seen articles to this affect, and have a few bisexual friends as well. I think that this still rings true. Thoughts?

[l8niter]

I really don't see any problem with, or find it hard to be with a woman whom is bi-sexual. My wenwitch is a bi-sexual woman and we have no trouble with it. The only thing I can say to the men that do have a problem in grow up and put on your big boy pants and let go of mamas apron strings.

ok sorry but that's my rant

[Kama]

Again, I'm rereading some old posts. I have seen articles to this affect, and have a few bisexual friends as well. I think that this still rings true. Thoughts?

I'm a little slow tonight. What rings true..how bisexuals are perceived?

I'm in a good place now. The people I meet are open-minded, or claim to be, towards bisexuality. I know I still strongly prefer men right now, but can feel very aroused at women.

[Kama]

I really don't see any problem with, or find it hard to be with a woman whom is bi-sexual. My wenwitch is a bi-sexual woman and we have no trouble with it. The only thing I can say to the men that do have a problem in grow up and put on your big boy pants and let go of mamas apron strings.

ok sorry but that's my rant

Lucky couple.

[Tyger]

Your first rant on how a lot of bisexual people feel that they're perceived is what I meant by it still rings true.

I've heard people tell bisexuals that they should just choose one, expect a 3-some like it's a right that they have since their SO is bisexual, and someone asking "what, you can't make up your mind?"

I'm not ready to specifically label myself. Do I regret my relationships with men? No. Some I feel that I wasted some time with. But, at the time, that's what I wanted. I always felt that something was missing, and now, with my GF, I know what that is. I did come out with my relationship to my mother. My mother told my GF that she thinks I'm bisexual, because there's no way I can be gay. If I was gay, I'd have known a long time ago. LOL

Either way, I'm happy now.

I love that people that are bisexual that feel comfortable being out like that. I have no idea why people can't just let others be the way they want, and that we should just accept it.

[Kama]

To update this thread, those men that told me how I'm going to have a hard finding someone are WRONG.  I don't understand why some people just spew stuff with no evidence.  While I was explaining bisexuality to them, they told me that "maybe you're single, because you're crazy."  I even showed them actual evidence of couples being married, but they just didn't want to hear it. 

 

Again, the person I'm dating now is okay about me being attracted to both genders.  He asked me to be his girlfriend after I told him this.  Interestingly, this guy is also my age (in his 30's). All of the guys I meet my age don't seem to care about bisexuality. 

 

For the record, this forum where this conversation occurred is loveshack.org. I wouldn't recommend that place. It's very negative and misinformed.    Most people that I meet in real life luckily don't talk like that.

 

 

[RC4BLUE]

I have run into my share of people who have problems with anything other than hetreosexualify. I don't necessarily fault them. Religion, parents, education (or lack of) all be enlarge influences. Often I find it is my responsibility to aid these individuals and educate them. Some will have their eyes opened, some will argue, some will walk away. 

 

Having said this, the majority of people in my life are pretty open and accepting. Maybe because that is who I have chosen to surround my self with. As long as people are true to who they are I am good with that. My sexuality is mine. Yours is yours. Together we can live in harmony, respect and happiness.