Did I Make The Right Choice?

[princesa113]

I was dating a guy for about a year and a couple months. Within that time we have broken up about 3-5 times (I cant even tell you the exact #, that should tell you something); every single time we broke up he was the cause, I am the one that broke up with him but he is the reason why. He would lie to me about things he was doing online, like talking (more than just friendly chit chat) to women, sending nude pictures of himself, etc. Well I found all of this out on my own, he did not fess up to it. Even when I would confront him about it, he would still deny it. I will admit I was not very smart when I got back together with him the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time. But anyway, things were going fine after all of that. Then of course the lying happened again, this time I actually just let it go and tried to work at it without breaking up, well that didnt work very well. I ended up breaking up with him and staying single for about a month or so (longer than any other time we had broken up). Well come to find out I actually like this whole single life, and I dont want to be in a relationship, which is what I told him (because he was trying to get back together with me). I kept telling myself Im gonna stay single this time, well of course I got back together with him. He confessed his undying love, and said he would never hurt me again. During the little week that we were together, I kept thinking about how much I didnt want to be in the relationship. I also liked another guy and I didnt think it was fair to be with someone that "loves you so much" and you dont feel the same way about them. So I ended it with him tonight. I told him that I didnt want to hurt him and Im sorry we got back together just to end it again, but I couldnt go on in the relationship any longer knowing that his feelings were alot stronger than mine, and that I also liked someone else (no I do not want to be in a relationship with this other guy, I just felt it was wrong to like someone while youre in a relationship with someone else). After all of this blah blah, my question is do you stay with someone because they love you and take care of you even though you know you dont really want to be in the relationship. Mind you, he does treat me well (for the most part). But I dont think I can be in a committed relationship right now. Any thoughts or suggestions would be more than appreciated.

[blushNlez21]

It sounds to me you want to be single. So be single. Have fun and be young. That is what I plan on doing for a while at least. I just got out of a relationship, and now I like this guy, but I've made it clear that I'm just looking for dating, hanging out, and a little fun. But nothing that's going to tie either of us down. So if you aproach this guy your talking about, just let him know what you want/don't want. Hope everything works out for the best. Keep us posted.

Jess

[whiskeywoman]

Sounds like it to me.

I have a rule, break my heart once, and your done.

If you break it once, how can I trust you not to do it again?

You got a taste of the single life and you enjoy it.

There is nothing wrong with that, nor is there anything wrong with liking someone else.

Oh I'm sure eventually you may want a relationship again, but for right now, enjoy your freedom.

Do not stay in a relationship if you are unahppy, no matter how well he treats you, nor how much he loves you.

My grandparents were married for 45 years before my grandfather passed away.

They hated each others guts, he would drink 2 or 3 24 packs of beer a day, she would drown her sorrows in pain killers.

They stayed together because they had 4 kids together.

Even when the kids were grown and moved out, he worked and paid the bills, she collected disability and payed whatever was left.

When my Paw died, I saw Granny laugh for the first time in 15 years.

I asked her why she stayed with him for so long if she was so unhappy.

She told me that she had never known any other type of life.

They married when they were 15 and 16.

She had never met any other boy, she never tried.

After he died, I saw her smile and laugh, I saw her truely enjoy her great grankids and even meet her great great grandson.

She reveled in being single.

You should too.

Don't give a second thought to this guy you dumped, he will survive.

And maybe at some point he might get the hint that his actions are the cause if the hurt.

Just don't stress over it, relax, enjoy, and have fun!