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ED nightmare


Fiftyman

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I’m a fifty year old married man who is a diabetic. I’ve suffered from ED for the past three years. Meds worked for two years now nothing helps. My last hope is surgery which is expensive and dangerous. My wife has been awesome during all of this. We continue to find ways to please each other. With my condition approaching a critical point she is not being satisfied. She is frustrated and unhappy. She continues to stand by me but I know she is very unhappy. It is killing me. As a man this is the worst thing that could happen to me. I no longer feel like a man. I have the sexual appetite of a twenty year old but cannot perform. I have even given my wife permission to take a lover but she will not. I dint want her to but I want her to be happy. Now we are looking at a prosthetic penis which she is not thrilled about. We will but it and we will do what we can but I know she will never truly be satisfied. Are any other men in here that can relate? Are there any women here that will give me an honest insight? 

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1 hour ago, Fiftyman said:

I’m a fifty year old married man who is a diabetic. I’ve suffered from ED for the past three years. Meds worked for two years now nothing helps. My last hope is surgery which is expensive and dangerous. My wife has been awesome during all of this. We continue to find ways to please each other. With my condition approaching a critical point she is not being satisfied. She is frustrated and unhappy. She continues to stand by me but I know she is very unhappy. It is killing me. As a man this is the worst thing that could happen to me. I no longer feel like a man. I have the sexual appetite of a twenty year old but cannot perform. I have even given my wife permission to take a lover but she will not. I dint want her to but I want her to be happy. Now we are looking at a prosthetic penis which she is not thrilled about. We will but it and we will do what we can but I know she will never truly be satisfied. Are any other men in here that can relate? Are there any women here that will give me an honest insight? 

I have an old friend. He lost his prostate to cancer. The struggle is very real. I heard of Injection that have help. But I hear you have to inject into the penis. Im so sorry, 50 is so young. Please don't give up, and keep that 20 year old mind thinking those things. Good Luck 😊

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I’m sorry to read this.  I would like to hope I would be more understanding than your wife is being.  I haven’t been with a guy that has had this issue but I don’t penal penetration to be satisfied.  Even just oral stimulation is enough to satisfy me, especially if he is passionate and shows genuine intimacy.

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My partner and I went through this very thing over the last few years.  It turned out to be an undiagnosed health issue, which we are thankful was found due to the ED.  Like you, Mat would find success with certain treatments or aids but not very consistent at all.  The more he desired the more he stressed and the worse it was.

As a successful man, He had no reason to judge himself by his sexual prowess but he did and it affected him.  We did different things and bought several things from this site.  The hollow strap on has been a winner for us.  If I were you I would exhaust every option before doing surgery.

It was gracious of you to offer your wife  another lover; Mat did the same thing. We have a long term stable relationship which is based on more than intercourse, so I declined.  But several years before he had ED, we had 3way with another guy.  We all agreed to it and we all enjoyed it, but it did make an undeniable mark on our relationship.  I won't elaborate now, but does change the dynamics.

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23 hours ago, GirlCrush said:

I have an old friend. He lost his prostate to cancer. The struggle is very real. I heard of Injection that have help. But I hear you have to inject into the penis. Im so sorry, 50 is so young. Please don't give up, and keep that 20 year old mind thinking those things. Good Luck 😊

    I was trying to find words and "Girl Crush" said them for me. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>    and the "Cat is back"

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On ‎9‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 12:34 PM, Fiftyman said:

I’m a fifty year old married man who is a diabetic. I’ve suffered from ED for the past three years. Meds worked for two years now nothing helps. My last hope is surgery which is expensive and dangerous. My wife has been awesome during all of this. We continue to find ways to please each other. With my condition approaching a critical point she is not being satisfied. She is frustrated and unhappy. She continues to stand by me but I know she is very unhappy. It is killing me. As a man this is the worst thing that could happen to me. I no longer feel like a man. I have the sexual appetite of a twenty year old but cannot perform. I have even given my wife permission to take a lover but she will not. I dint want her to but I want her to be happy. Now we are looking at a prosthetic penis which she is not thrilled about. We will but it and we will do what we can but I know she will never truly be satisfied. Are any other men in here that can relate? Are there any women here that will give me an honest insight? 

       I was hoping the desire would go away with the erections. Of one thing I am sure. You and the wife will deal with this together. And the way you have dealt with this shows your commitment to her. ie telling her to take a lover which she refused.  I am 67 and feel the small changes I don't like. And the not feeling like a man. Believe me sir you are a man that should be admired by all. Offering to give your wife to another for sex is the most unselfish thing I have ever heard or.  And your loyal wife has the same quality. As girl crush stated "hang in there" things got a way of getting better."

                                                                                 A friend who has your respect.   Charlie.

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I can relate to this.   My hubby had prostate cancer and had seeds inserted  plus a kidney removed.    It was a good many years before we had sex,  and I was feeling so neglected.    I had the urges but he didn't  and I didn't want to say anything that would make him not feel like a man.   On day  I decided to go for it  and said something to him and thats all I needed.   We started doing other things to please each other.    I looked at  Too Timid and found a strap on and showed it to my hubby,   and we ordered it  and it was the best thing we ever did.   Granted its more for me than him,   but he gets pleasure from it knowing he is pleasuring me and making me happy.   I forgot to mention that it is a hollow strap on,  and he says he gets a little feeling.    By the way   we are  75 and  76  we may be old but we are not dead !!  lol    I hope  this helps.

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5 hours ago, Its me said:

I can relate to this.   My hubby had prostate cancer and had seeds inserted  plus a kidney removed.    It was a good many years before we had sex,  and I was feeling so neglected.    I had the urges but he didn't  and I didn't want to say anything that would make him not feel like a man.   On day  I decided to go for it  and said something to him and thats all I needed.   We started doing other things to please each other.    I looked at  Too Timid and found a strap on and showed it to my hubby,   and we ordered it  and it was the best thing we ever did.   Granted its more for me than him,   but he gets pleasure from it knowing he is pleasuring me and making me happy.   I forgot to mention that it is a hollow strap on,  and he says he gets a little feeling.    By the way   we are  75 and  76  we may be old but we are not dead !!  lol    I hope  this helps.

Wow.. Really amazing that Into your 70's and with the issues, you didn't give up. Many Many people could use a page out of your  book. In my mind what you decribed was a deep deep and true LOVE. Thank you for sharing. 

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On 9/30/2018 at 11:54 AM, Fiftyman said:

Thanks. I’m doing all I can. My wife is incredibly sexy. She deserves the best. 

Sounds like you both do.. Don't sale yourself short on what you deserve too. Please keep us posted and reach out to us for any support. Share when you find what works. 

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Hi FiftyMan,

I can relate to your situation 100%. I am 53 with ED. Started a few years ago for unknown reasons. I do take several depression/bipolar meds and they are likely the cause, and also added a high blood pressure med which was the final blow. I too offered my wife to take a love and she denied and is sticking by my side and is very supportive. 

You mention surgery which I have not looked into yet. Can you share what you know about the process, expense, and what they actually do? Have you tried penis pumps? I'm thinking about buying one but I'm not sure if it'll do anything for me.

Hang in there friend...we have loving wives and will get through this somehow. I feel like much less of a man although I have a huge sex drive like you. I give her oral but it's just not the same (from my perspective).

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If you are referring to me  about my husbands ed,    he had prostate cancer but  did not have surgery.    He had seeds implanted to destroy the cancer cells  and it also destroyed his sex life,   one of the pitfalls.    He has never tried a penis pump  but we get by with the strap on,    its not the same but  hey    it helps !!  

 

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If you are referring to me  about my husbands ed,    he had prostate cancer but  did not have surgery.    He had seeds implanted to destroy the cancer cells  and it also destroyed his sex life,   one of the pitfalls.    He has never tried a penis pump  but we get by with the strap on,    its not the same but  hey    it helps !!  

Oh I am  sorry  

 

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I have a friend that got the seeds implanted, 12 or 15 years ago. He got ED, had hot flashes for about a year, and thought he would never get a hard-on again. Other side effects too, but I'll skip those. 

In an effort to keep her satisfied, he pursued learning oral sex....which, amazingly enough, was something he never did for his wife. (I know, we talked about it several times....."how to" if you will) I thought everybody did oral..... 

They also bought some toys. Lots of toys. He uses them on her with oral. (my suggestion) 

The good news is, after a couple years, he started getting erections again. Slowly, and not like before, but good enough, in time, to do something with. ;) Still though, the oral he does, has and still is the best solution.

Don't give up! She doesn't need to 'shop elsewhere'! 

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i am a 57 male and have   ED    we  have a healthy sex life i have taken Viagra and cialis    but of late  my wife got a naught dress from here  and some toys, i massage her and i got really hard and got good penetration we had a good night   so try sensation touch it working so far going to do it again to-nite so  hang in there , theres light at the end of the tunnel, take your time touch your partner talk want turns you on and go for it think positive  

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Im 51 and dealing with the ED the meds are not working lately and I have the desire and mentally want my wife like I was a teen again. I have alot of nerve damage in all areas of my spine. We both are Extreemly attracted to each other and still have a great sex life but I know she wants me inside her and it crushes me when I can not maintain a errection. I was thinking of trying the penis pump and cock ring. Its really mentally draining not being able to perform as I would like too. My wife is beautiful and I want to make love to her constantly. So your not alone. 

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On 3/1/2019 at 8:35 PM, oldpokerpro said:

Im 51 and dealing with the ED the meds are not working lately and I have the desire and mentally want my wife like I was a teen again. I have alot of nerve damage in all areas of my spine. We both are Extreemly attracted to each other and still have a great sex life but I know she wants me inside her and it crushes me when I can not maintain a errection. I was thinking of trying the penis pump and cock ring. Its really mentally draining not being able to perform as I would like too. My wife is beautiful and I want to make love to her constantly. So your not alone. 

Aww that's so beautiful to hear sweetheart you are an incredible man and more incredible husband to be so sensitive to your wife's desires 😙😚 one solution is to get a penis extension you put it over your penis and it would allow you to give your wife that incredible LOVE MAKING that you want to give her 

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On 9/30/2018 at 1:40 PM, GirlCrush said:

I have an old friend. He lost his prostate to cancer. The struggle is very real. I heard of Injection that have help. But I hear you have to inject into the penis. Im so sorry, 50 is so young. Please don't give up, and keep that 20 year old mind thinking those things. Good Luck 😊

I know this topic is very old but for the sake of new members, i had to add some info. There is a formulary mix (generic) that can be injected at the base of the shaft. It does not hurt and the amount is very small (literally the size of a teardrop) and the needle is so thin, i have trouble seeing it (size 28g i think) no pain, just a strange pressure when it hits the cavernosa. I am on my second injection, so i am still trying to figure out the correct dose for me (tritetion). Started with Trimix formulation at .10 ml (cc) but I almost ended in the Emergency room. Erect for 2.5 hours and semi erect for another hour even after putting an icepack on my dick.  Per Doctor’s order, i cut down to .8 ml with similar results but semi erect for only 30 minutes. Will try .5 next.  There are formulations of Bimix (two active ingredients) Trimix and Quadmix (4 ingredients)  I calculated my cost per injection at $4 but now at $2 since i am cutting down to half original dose.  It works in 5 minutes after injection with 2-3 minutes of massaging the penis to spread the injection towards the glans.  Dick stays erect even after climax. Keep pumping until she is raw and in pain or you have a heart attack.  It is a lot better than viagra and cialis. Some forums even say that after a year of injections some men gain in girth and length. See a urologist and ask for the trimix injections before any surgery. Once they take out the cavernosa to make room for the implant, there is no going back. Too many possible complications. 

 

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On 10/1/2018 at 8:57 AM, Britta said:

I’m sorry to read this.  I would like to hope I would be more understanding than your wife is being.  I haven’t been with a guy that has had this issue but I don’t penal penetration to be satisfied.  Even just oral stimulation is enough to satisfy me, especially if he is passionate and shows genuine intimacy.

Not related to the thread but you are sexy girl

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seekingxxxfun are you getting theses meds from a doctor? and you are obviously you are injecting yourself?  so what are the hidden side affects?  so hard for a couple of hours are you in pain with that? what does your partner think about using meds? i suffer from mild ed i can get hard with stimulation and i do take cialis and i have a very loving and caring wife who like all of us is understanding and willing to help with this problem i put this down to the male equivalent to female menopause to which  she has gone  and is going though  we both work to help each other and its working out pretty good for us at this point so work as a team and hang in there hope for all of us

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