Members sewilliams83 Posted September 12, 2006 Members Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Okay, i bought a dildo and i didnt really think it was as big as it was but when i got it, it was alot bigger than expected(bigger than hubby a little) Well i bough this particular one because it was the cheapest one i found, $8. when he saw it, he got mad at me and said go ahead and you it, ill find me a girlfriend. My question is, is it that big of a deal to make a guy say something like that. What should i do or say to him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sewilliams83 Posted September 12, 2006 Author Members Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 well he did say he was sorry and he would never do that but ut still makes me mad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted September 12, 2006 Members Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Sew, well let me start by saying that communication is the best thing when it comes to toys and sex. I take it he had no idea, and you know some men tend to get upset if they see there girlfriend with something bigger then them. Make sure that you tell him it is not to replace, and that he does bring you satisfaction. Have you asked him why he got so mad? You know(men on here please don't take this the wrong way) men tend to have egos at times and toys can be intimidating to them exspecially if there isn't that open communication. I am assuming that this isn't the first toy but it is in fact the first one bigger then him. Talk with him get that line of communication going and find out what exactly he is having a problem with. Is it that he feels that he doesn't meet your expectations? Maybe he feels that you needed something bigger to be happy that is why he made the comment he did. Heck I bought John Holmes and when I told my husband I was going to he laughed and said,"dear do you know how big that is?" I said sort of but curiosity was killing so I did it. My husband and I have a open communication on everything. Sometimes I do like to surprise him and buy something without telling him, but we also have been married a long time. He tells me he doesn't care what I buy as long as I let him play to and don't use them instead of him. I mean I can masturbate all I like, but if he is home he would like to watch and join in. The best line of advice I can think of is to talk with him, find out why he got so mad and also make sure to tell him you love him and that he makes you happy, that this toy is just something to enhance your sex life. Let him watch, join in and give him a show, also make sure you let him help you with it.Good Luck and keep us updated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted September 13, 2006 Members Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 Basically sew, your man is intimidated by the toy cause' he knows it is bigger than he is, and he thinks it will take his place. This, of course, is ludicrious, there is no way a toy can take the place of a man's live dick -and hands, lips, tongue, etc. It is therefore your job to let him know that is how you feel. That nothing can replace HIM, and that you got it to have fun with together (and maybe a little alone too) and let him play with you. Let him see how hot you get and then let him fuck you! He will soon not care about the toy and see that it is an enhancement not something to be intimidated by.This is a normal response by about 1/3 of the men whose wives or gf get a toy without telling them. Insecurity. Don't take responsibility for his insecurities, and don't give in. Just show him how fun it is to play together with the toy!Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sewilliams83 Posted September 13, 2006 Author Members Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 He knew that it was coming, i told him about it but he didnt realize it was as big as it was. I even him that it couldnt replace him but he doesnt care that i tell him that. He just thinks i want something bigger than him and thats not the case. It really wasnt planned to buy one that big but pictures arent really good at showing the sixe of what you buy and i know nothing about thickness so when it said the thickness that it was i didnt think that was that much. Well hopefully he will learn to understand and not get so mad about it. Now he might even throw it away so i cant use it. And its really not that i need it bigger but when its me by myself doing the work, i think a little bigger might be better but with him, he is big enough for me all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members telecom69 Posted September 14, 2006 Members Report Share Posted September 14, 2006 Okay, i bought a dildo and i didnt really think it was as big as it was but when i got it, it was alot bigger than expected(bigger than hubby a little) Well i bough this particular one because it was the cheapest one i found, $8. when he saw it, he got mad at me and said go ahead and you it, ill find me a girlfriend. My question is, is it that big of a deal to make a guy say something like that. What should i do or say to him?I remember when my ex and I got our first toy. I told her I was ok if she wanted to order a dildo. She got one online and it was bigger than me. About an inch longer and half inch wider. I was intimidated at first, but got over it when we started to use it together. She never told me how often she used it alone and I never asked. Its very normal for guys to be intimidated by big big toys that we can't compete with. It is what it is. Actually, my ex didn't like to use it that often with me, it was more exciting for me to be plunging it in her while I was doing oral on her. In all honesty though, I do feel some women do like there toys more than there partners and most won't admit it. There is probably a physcial and emotional element lacking in the relationship to cause that. I mean if a woman gets that full feeling from a toy that she may not be able to experience with her partner, then thats black and white. And, no pressure or distraction when using a toy alone. Again, communication is key.Telecom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 14, 2006 Report Share Posted September 14, 2006 Well, I hope that y'all are able to talk about his issues. That point, that when it's you doing the work with yourself, is a great one. And, the whole ego thing, is VERY true. My husband is JUST now starting to accept that I like adult toys. But I've always been upfront and honest about that point too. Just keep telling him that it's not a replacement, but an ENHANCEMENT to your sex life. He can have fun with it as well as you having solo time with it too. If he throws it away, then he has some serious issues himself. With self-esteem, and possibly control ones as well.Some men, you can never convince that it's them you want, but having some enhancing things is a GOOD thing for a relationship. It said on your personal blurb under your Avatar, that you have 3 sex toys. So, are the other 2 OK with him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sewilliams83 Posted September 14, 2006 Author Members Report Share Posted September 14, 2006 Well, I hope that y'all are able to talk about his issues. That point, that when it's you doing the work with yourself, is a great one. And, the whole ego thing, is VERY true. My husband is JUST now starting to accept that I like adult toys. But I've always been upfront and honest about that point too. Just keep telling him that it's not a replacement, but an ENHANCEMENT to your sex life. He can have fun with it as well as you having solo time with it too. If he throws it away, then he has some serious issues himself. With self-esteem, and possibly control ones as well.Some men, you can never convince that it's them you want, but having some enhancing things is a GOOD thing for a relationship. It said on your personal blurb under your Avatar, that you have 3 sex toys. So, are the other 2 OK with him?Yes he is fine with those because they are both g spot vibraters. They are small and thinOkay, today he said that it was the thought of something bigger going in me and he thought it might make him not be able to feel me anymore. I said i have had 2 kids and i dont think any didlo can top that. Well he says thats different, so really hes afraid i might loosen up inside i guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sewilliams83 Posted September 14, 2006 Author Members Report Share Posted September 14, 2006 I don't get this man's Thinking? If you have had two children, just how much more stretched does he think your vagina is going to get? I swear, I don't know whether some men need an anatomy class, or to be hit over the head with a 4 x 4! If you do your kegels, faithfully, you can get so tight you can unscrew the cap off a catchup bottle! That ought to make his eyes rattle his ears, and maybe clean them out so he can hear you when you tell him that no dildoe is going to top having a couple of kids pass through there.Thanks fpr all the help and replies but i dont guess they arehelping him much becuase now he says he dont want to talk about it anymore so i guess thats that. Yeah your right, some men need to be hit over the head with a 4X4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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