Shaving?

[timidtwo]

I have shaved myself a couple of times and my wife thinks its crazy.

Not to mention that I was inexperienced and naive, and left the "bristles" down there,

which poked her, and irritated her.

She never has shaved herself, nor has she allowed herself to be shaved around the genitals.

Because I was pretty dumb the times I tried it, I have to ask,

"Is it worth it, really?"

I have heard (read) that it heightens the sensation between two people,

and makes him feel "bigger" to her.

Is this true? Should I suggest both of us shaving, and making sure not to leave any "stubble"???

I would love to have her shave me! What trust that takes!

[nosleepnmesa]

Hi timidtwo!!!! Well I am a shaver and my husband is also, does it make him fill bigger, no. Does it make it easier access?YES!! Also there is no hair to get in the way of anything. I shave everyday to keep the stuble away. You have to make sure you use a NEW razor though, and shave gel or cream. Try only to go over the area only once. When I very first started shaving, I trimmed as close as I could get with a pair of scissors first, then I grabbed my razor.

My hubby also shaves everyday or at least every other day so as far as the bristles we haven't had that problem. Is it all worth it. I believe it is. I love the smooth feeling not only on myself but on him as well.

Keep us posted

Kathy

[timidtwo]

Hmmmm...

We'll have to seriously think about this.

I like the idea of easier access:

I am just not sure she'll be willing.

If she is, she is!

If she isn't, then she isn't.

If nothing else, I'd at least like to try it.

[Tyger]

Well, being an avid shaver for going on 14 years now (OMG!! ), I will give you and your wife a few helpful tips!!

First, if you have a tub, best to soak in that first, allowing the hairs to soften up. Get a REALLY good razor. I've found the best razors are the refillable kind. I, myself, prefer the Venus Vibrance (go figure, a vibrating razor!! ) At first, I thought that this razor was kinda silly, but I got a coupon for a free one, so I got it, and BOY HOWDY!! Does it work!! Now, I think the man's equivelant is like the Gillette Endurance, or Fusion. I can't remember. But look for a razor with a battery!!

If you don't have a tub, then shower, with warm water, wash up first, wash the hair, and everything else. Get a good steamy shower going (more moisture makes the hairs get softer!).

I read a tip on here a while ago, where some avid poster uses hair conditioner instead of expensive shaving cream. I thought, "Hey, why not?" So that's what I've been using, and lemme say, that it really does work wonderfully!! No bumps, great lubrication for the razor, and my skin feels oh, so silky soft afterwards. I use the Tresemme' Extra Moisturizing conditioner. I got the BIIIIIIG bottle!!

Shave carefully in the genital area, but thoroughly. I check myself by rubbing myself against the "grain" of the hairs. Shave more if needed. I do all of this for my legs & bikini area as well. Rinse well, with warm water. If you're in the tub, soak a few minutes afterwards, washing away any dabs of blood. It soothes the skin.

I don't add any lotion afterwards, since you've opened up your pores with the hot water AND shaved, since I have sensitive skin, and especially in the genital area, I don't add a thing. There is bound to be a little blood here and there. Lotion only irritates, and creates a heat down there that is NOT pleasant!! Plus can give you rashes or whatnot.

Pat your towel on the shaved area, don't rush and swipe off like people normally do. Patting allows the moisture of the water to soak in naturally. A good shaving experience for the first few times is what sets the pace. If it's painful, and uncomfortable afterwards, that person won't want to do it again.

I hope that helps a bit!

[timidtwo]

The hot shower and conditioner worked great!

No razor burn... Did it myself, this time... Smooth as a baby's butt!!!

Just one question:

What's the best way to get rid of the hairs under the penis and above the sack?

That is a REALLY tricky spot!

[Tyger]

I'm glad our tips helped you.

Asking questions is the only way you'll learn!! Keep the questions coming!!

[timidtwo]

Grrr....

Is this gonna be an everyday event?

I have already been 'itching' with the "5 o'cock shadow"

I hope not, I tried to reshave yesterday, after shaving the first time the day before, and NOW it hurts!

YEOWWWWWWWW!!!!

I assume it is like shaving your face after awhile, the area gets used to it, and doesn't hurt so badly?

and yes, I took a trimmer and shortened the hair before "bic"ing it...

[Mikayla1]

Read my article in the education section, "Shaving Private Ryan." I have already answered all of your questions there.

Of course you need to shave daily, the more you shave, the softer and less dense the hair will grow in.

Mikayla

[ambrelyn]

OK, I missed this one, but thought I'd comment anyway. All the tips my fiancee and I use have already been mentioned, so I'll skip to the why we like it part. The reason I love for him to be shaved is mainly for bjs. We start pretty much every time with me sucking on him a little, and with him shaved it means no pesky hairs in my teeth or the back of my throat. It's not sexy to feel like a cat hacking up a hairball. I like to be shaven because I feel cleaner, especially around the time of my monthly. The other reason we both like to be shaved is the way it feels during sex. That area is pretty sensitive anyway, but when you remove the barrier of hair it becomes ultra ultra sesitive. For us anyway. It feels alot closer. I shave pretty much daily or at least every other day. My fiancee is not quite so diligent, and when his stubble starts to come in, it can be a bummer. Kinda like making love with sandpaper. But I tell him about it, he takes care of it, and it's all good. When I first started shaving it was very uncomfortable, but after a couple of months the area got used to it, and it's much better now. I'll never go back!

[timidtwo]

I have figured out that it is the hair stubble growing in that is hurting (errr, itching... whatever)

I just need to go buy so Extra Sensitive Shaving Gel, I can see that one!

It is gonna take some practice getting the hair away from the base of the penis! That is where it is REALLY prickly!

When shaved smooth, I love the feeling, I am just trying to drop hints to her, trying to get her to do it too...

It looks and feels cleaner being shaved to me... Hopefully she'll feel the same way!

[timidtwo]

That didn't take long... no more itch, and able to shave again today without a great deal of discomfort...

I love the look down there, and really feel cleaner... Someone, somewhere on here made a comment about feeling cleaner, being shaved... I thought they were full of it... Sorry, whoever you were!

Anyway, this morning, my wife commented,

"I noticed your showers have gotten longer, lately. How come? Are you shaving or something?" she asked comically.

I told her yes, but didn't give any details as to where.

We'll see what she thinks, now that I am keeping it tight and smooth, instead of prickly like the last times I tried... I was always scared to take a razor blade down there!

[timidtwo]

Still a NO GO...

She doesn't like it...

Gotta regrow!!!

[timidtwo]

Not much to go on to help you. Did your wife explain what she doesn't like and why she doesn't like it? I mean, all you did was shave off the rest of the hair from that spot where it was hard to reach. Does she not like giving you oral sex? Does she not like the smell? Or how you look?

Howard

She does not like the look. She says that it is not sexy, and doesn't like it.

Ever since we first starting being intimate, over 12 years ago, she has not liked oral sex.

That is something that I can live with,

because her pleasure is more important to me, than my own.

I have given her oral sex, and tried to give it to her many times, I thoroughly enjoy giving it!

In fact, giving is a huge turn on for me, but 99.44% of the time,

she won't let me do it, because, in her words,

"I won't let you give me, what I won't give you!"

Last time I gave it to her, she did not stop me, and reacted well physically, but afterwards, she wouldn't kiss me, because of "where that mouth has been", she told me that "You need to brush and use mouthwash, before I will kiss that again!"

Honestly, I think we've come a long way, considering our first use of a toy was only two months ago.

I have insisted that she be willing to initiate something new, anytime she wants, no matter how far out there it may seem! I have made it clear that I will do a lot more than she probably thinks I will, in order to make our bedroom, her sex throne/shrine.

There is a reason we have the nickname of "timidtwo" on here... We're breaking out of a sexual coma, trying to expand our horizons beyond what either of us would have ever thought possible, even 3-6 months ago!

We're both battling "timidity", but she is really more of the timid one than I am.

In the words of my brother, "There's a little 'freak', in everyone." It is just that most of us are afraid to share it, even to those we should be able to share it with, without any reservation, what-so-ever.

[timidtwo]

She is your wife, and you choose to live with someone who is so selfish she really doesn't care about giving you pleasure. I would not put up with it, again, although I did so with my first wife. I don't know why some people even get married. They say they love someone, but then have a long list of things they won't do to pleasure their spouse. We see it here often, I am sad to say. Loving is about them , and their wants, and never about their spouse. I have to question if they really love their spouses at all. I also don't understand why you don't think you are entitled to your own sexual pleasure. Why is it okay to deny you pleasure but its okay for you to give her pleasure? Even she tends to agree, I think, as she doesn't want you going down on her because she won't go down on you. I have to wonder what kind of kissing she tolerates, if she is so opposed to oral sex.

I wish you the best, believe me. I really do. But your wife is working on a different wave length, and you are going along with that. I just don't think we can be of much help to either of you, giving that basic difference in how you both think your individual roles during love making should be. I knew a couple that was celebate and very happy together. I had thought that kind of thinking went out with the Shakers, but here it was, again. If that is what makes them happy, who am I to suggest they are out of their minds?

Howard

I stay because, there are things we do participate in together sexually, and both are fulfilled by, quite well:

What she does demand from me, she DOES reciprocate!

She wants me to do clit stim to her... She finds that "SPOT" underneath my sack, and drives me insane with it!

She wants me to suck on her breasts, she sucks on my chest and back!

She wants me to kiss her, she kisses me!

She wants me to give her my penis, she gives me her vagina.

She wants me to find her G Spot, with my hand and/or vibrator, she gives hand jobs that are UNBELIEVABLE!

She occasionally wants me to talk dirty to her, she occasionally talks dirty to me.

We are open to more than what we already have done, we just need to find it! Oral is just not going to be one of the items we will enjoy!

Would I like it if she was into oral? YES, no question about it.

But, would I be turned on, making her miserable by forcing to go down on me? NO!

I have sometimes thought that maybe she did like it, but was afraid to admit it.

But, with multiple attempts in the past twelve years, to give it to her, she has still stood her ground on this.

If she demanded that I go down on her, and she refused to go down on me, then I would have a right to be pissed and feel cheated, and you'd have the right to call her "selfish"...

With everything we DO have together, is it worth throwing all of those things away, just because of one thing we don't agree on? There are at least 6 things I listed that we both like, and do together... there's only one that we've found, that we disagree on, and we are looking for more to agree on...

So, please, if I am missing something in this thought process, then explain how she is "selfish"... would you call her that if she refused to be my "sub" and I wanted to be her "dom"?

Does it make someone selfish to deny their partner S & M if they themselves are not into it? No... Just not their forte!

Is it selfish to tie someone up and gag them, and beat them against their will, even if the "punisher" is turned on by it?? YES, in fact, it is more than selfish! That's illegal, and you could be facing kidnapping and/or assault and/or rape charges!

Wouldn't I be the one in the "wrong" for forcing her into oral sex? Again, I hope someday she does open up to it, but I am not going to 'throw out the baby with the bath water", and leave the 6 or more things we do enjoy doing together, just because of one thing we don't agree on... If she denied me ALL forms of pleasure, and wanted me to live celebate, with her, then that would justify a label such as "selfish"....

[chickenmom]

Amen, Twotimid.

While I love this site and all of the advice and information, sometimes things come across as judgmental. I have been told that I should love and worship giving blowjobs to the hubby. I do them, but it's not my favorite thing. No big deal to me or to my hubby. Apparently, though, to some on the forum that's almost tantamount to saying that I don't love my hubby enough.

I say do what's comfortable for the both of you.

[Mikayla1]

I will agree with Howard - if your wife won't give head, she is selfish. I understand your reasoning about "her not asking you to reciprocate" but the thing is, if she knows you love the blowjobs - what man doesn't - and she won't do it, then she is selfish as far wanting to pleasure you to the best of HER capibility. The thing with blowjobs is that all women CAN do them, all women CAN swallow, and all women SHOULD do them, in my opinion. Ones who do not are selfish in my opinion as well.

Chickenmom refers to me in her comment about "worshipping her man's cock" because that is how I feel a successful lover is. Worshipping the other person - all their parts, flaws, etc. When a woman gives a blowjob like she absolutely LOVES it, then she has tremendous power in the situation and HER man feels like she truly loves him. Now, if you don't suck cock does it mean that you don't love your hubby? OF COURSE NOT!!!! However, if you want to be totally, sexually fullfilled I believe that both partners need to be reciprocating oral sex. I would say the same thing to a man who wouldn't go down on his woman - and I have - he needs to worship her pussy!

Folks, here is the long and short of it, this is MY OPINION from personal experience. When you are with a lover, who you supposedly LOVE, there should be no part of their body that you are not willing to explore. While some people might find this ridiculous, think about it. If your man went around your body, tasting, licking, biting and sucking every inch of you - how would you feel? Desired, horny, happy, sexy - to name a few. However, if he were to suck your breasts, tummy but NOT eat out your pussy how would that make you feel? MAYBE dirty, unsexy, smelly or whatever. Men do think the same things and wonder WHY their women won;t go down on them!

TimidTwo, I feel there is more going on with your wife than you know. While I don't know her and I don't know you, I would wager that the fact that she didn't find your cock more appealing while shaved says something about what she feels about cock in general. When a man removes the hair, the cock looks bigger, more prominent. I think she probably has some bi-curious issues she needs to resolve, OR she had a bad lover who forced oral on her. Whatever it is, I think some talking is in order here.

To just NOT like to give oral, at all, but to be wiling to be with a woman.......bleep, bleep, bleep....the alarms are going off in my head!

Please don't be offended by my suggestions, in the end we are all just trying to help you and your wife be as sexually satisfied as possible!

Mikayla

[Tyger]

OK, well, I agree with lots of the statements, and disagree *respectfully* with others.

First, is there a REASON, other than she may think it's "gross" that she won't give you a BJ, like, was she forced to do it in the past, and just can't get past that? If so, there's not much aside patience, understanding, and maybe counselling, that would get her thru it. Each person is different as to what they like and dislike, and we must respect each other's differences. It makes life intersting to be sure.

Is she uncomfortable with the whole idea, or the actual BJ itself? Is she extremely self-conscious? To be on Howard and Mikayla's defense team, not a lot of background was given in the whole reasons as to WHY she doesn't like to do so. Your arguments are strong, and FOR your wife, which is extremely admirable for a husband to do. I know more husbands, or men in general, that would badmouth the lack of BJ's, whine, bitch, and moan, and tease their SO's about it all. So, I commend your loyalty for your wife!

I think Two said it very well that maybe it's just not her forte, and that if there are several aspects of the marriage that are good, and this is just one of few of it that aren't, then, hey, we have to respect that. And leaving someone just because they won't perform oral sex is a bit weak, especially if you've tolerated it all this time. Now, if she'd done it BEFORE or early on in the marriage, then, well, a little less talk and a lot more action would be needed there.

I will agree with Howard and Mikayla, especially with the insufficient info given, that if she's just refusing to give you a BJ "just because", then she IS being selfish. If you're willing to give to her, and pleasure her in the ways SHE likes, she should reciprocate.

You both need to remember, most importantly, that sex is fun, and between and man & wife, also an expression of love and trust between them. GIVE & TAKE. Not just give, give, give. Have fun, help her relax, and she should know that she should WANT to help you feel good too. It's not all about her pleasure. But BOTH of yours.

Kuddos on the newest adventure in toy purchasing (I've read most of your posts), and I hope that she is going to continue to do more adventurous sexual encounters with you! Maybe you could get a male masturbator or something, at first, to get her use to the idea. Maybe she'll want to give you a BJ seeing the toy give you one, and your pleasure. Lots of women get off on the whole "power" they have over their partner's excitement.

As far as the whole "she didn't like the look of the shaved Private Ryan". Well, if she's fairly timid, and not "wordly" in the ways of sex, then, yes, it CAN look a bit silly the first time, seeing your man shaved if you're not use to it. Kinda like seeing an extreme hair style change in your wife. It can take time to adjust to it. I would suggest, keeping it trimmed at least, just for your comfort.

I hope you continued happiness, ON BOTH of you. I hope that you are able to overcome this obstacle, if, in fact, that is what it is.

[timidtwo]

I had a client who was divorced by not one but two husbands over the issue or Oral Sex.

WOW... What a sad statement. Those were shallow men...

Each person is different as to what they like and dislike, and we must respect each other's differences.

EXACTLY! There are too many things that we BOTH want, and BOTH like, and BOTH do...

Why would I throw away every that is good, just because of ONE thing that we disagree about?

Now, if she'd done it BEFORE or early on in the marriage, then, well, a little less talk and a lot more action would be needed there.

She has never enjoyed it. She's tried. Many times, because she knows I like it.

It just isn't for her, and I won't make her do it, when there are so many other things we'll do together.

In the end we are all just trying to help you and your wife be as sexually satisfied as possible!

Mikayla

For this we are very appreciative! Thank YOU!!

We know that there are things that neither one of us have imagined possible between the two of us, and we want to find out what they might be! We want suggestions. That's why we're here.

Please don't be offended by my suggestions...

Mikayla

No problem... sometimes the truth hurt and advice isn't always easy to hear, especially when something doesn't seem "quite right" to a third party, and when they bring it up, it can be a tough pill to swallow. If we need to "take our medicine", then we will!

[timidtwo]

To just NOT like to give oral, at all, but to be wiling to be with a woman.......bleep, bleep, bleep....the alarms are going off in my head!

Mikayla

Honestly, that issue caught my attention before you ever posted it.

and is exactly what I meant when I stated that we will "take our medicine" when we need to.

It does sound like you are not satisfied with the love making, but then you claim its just fine. You ask for advice to improve it, but then tell us all about the road blocks you wife puts up.

For clarification's sake...

Only one roadblock... no oral sex...

So, there are not "road blocks", just one...

We both want and do everything else we have come up with so far.

We are open to suggestion for expanding our abilities and imagination,

and will contemplate any suggestions we receive, together.

My claim that our love life is "just fine" is true. What we do together, we do well, and that is great.

Maybe "improvement" isn't the word we should use when we ask for advice...

"Expansion" is probably better... Expansion of our horizons, abilities, and imaginations...

1. We love mutual masturbation.

2. We love to kiss.

3. We love to have intercourse in various positions.

a. Missionary

b. Doggy Style

c. him on top

d. her on top

e. him standing beside the bed..

f. this is where each of YOU come in... help us find f, g, h, i, j, k...

4. We love using our toys.

a. two vibrators- one thin one thick and soft

b. one bendi-beaver

c. again, this is where the rest of you come in... help us fill in c, d, e, f

5. you each come in again here... help us fill in 5, 6, 7, etc...