Surviving infidelity, is it possible?

[YaAvergaeBloke]

So to break this all down as quick as I can, I have been with my fiance for 3 years, he told me just a couple of months ago that at the start of last year he had installed the Grindr app, reached out to someone and had a "hook up" with said person, my fiance tells me that it finished as it started as he had realized what he was doing and that it was wrong. He went through with therapy, I had thought it was for an unrelated incident but he told me it was because of what he had done.

Obviously I was upset when he told me, I moved out that same day and at the moment I am staying with a parent. At the time I didn't really know why, but I thought that we could try and fix this, we've been trying for a while now.. Some days are good for me, where I don't feel really bothered, then I have other days which are filled with anxiety, depression and PTSD (I say PTSD because I have vivid flashbacks and scenarios on how it went down). 

This is more of a rant and a question, I need to get this off my chest so I hope it's allowed.

Am I dreaming to think I can fix this, or do I need to get over my fear of being alone? (This is my first relationship, ever)

[michelleddd]

This is such a loaded question/ scenario.  You didn’t say how old you are but I’m guessing early to mid twenties. Do you have children together?

The fact that so early in your relationship he planned and went ahead with it would leave me out of the situation, especially if no children are involved. 
 

I believe it takes a bigger person than I am to forgive an infidelity, I would most likely never believe anything he said to some degree ever again. But that me. 
 

Are you in therapy ? It might help to explore where you really stand in this.  It’s ok to walk away if that was a boundary in your relationship.  
 

OTOH it’s ok to stay and work on it if you think it can be salvaged. 
 

Don’t sell your happiness short. I know it hurts but you’re going to come out stronger on the other side, I promise. 
 

[YaAvergaeBloke]

Yes sorry, I wrote this up pretty fast, we're both 26 this year, no kids or anything to really tie each other down.

I have sought out therapy, unsure if it's working yet aha.

 

Thank you for your reply

[Lonely and divorced]

Sorry that happened to you. I hope everything works out for you.🌞

[YaAvergaeBloke]

It is what it is at the end of the day, wish it had never happened in the first place. 

Thank you for your comment

[Lonely and divorced]

37 minutes ago, YaAvergaeBloke said:

It is what it is at the end of the day, wish it had never happened in the first place. 

Thank you for your comment

You’re very welcome.🌞

[Robert is12]

Normally at the age of 26.. we are just beginning to make some of the bestest mistakes in our relationships.. With that be said.. when you're in a relationship for the long haul you're going to have lows and highs and sadly dry spells.. talk to him and see what made him do it.. it could be something that can be addressed and fixed.. honestly the true answer is his is still not ready for a serious relationship...

Good lucky chicky.. hope this helps

[Hoggy]

Yes it can be overcome and I speak from experience. But it's hard and will take time. Shit. I caught my wife in the act!!!

But I will say,  your boyfriend definitely is showing remorse by going to therapy etc. 

I suggest giving him one more chance (assuming this is the first time) but take YOUR time  and work on healing yourself first but let him know if it happens again - you are through! 

 

[Bgg]

You made the commitment, why wouldn’t you save it. What made him wander, trying something different, or making sure he only wants you.  It’s a lifetime commitment, so forgive and make it all a stronger relationship.