Members Applesauce Posted February 16, 2007 Members Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 My boyfriend hasa expressed several times to me that he wants to try anal sex. I understand that lots of people do it but I was wondering how it is health wise. I am worried that it will cause problems for me in the future. What if I become loose and suddenly can't control flatulants or something? What if it rips me apart?? I know that it is highly advised to use condoms because of the bacteria involved. I am just worried that it might long term affect me or hurt me and I was wondering what the risks and likely hood of them were. My other question was about cum. My boyfriend has also expressed cumming in my mouth. Yeah, most men desire it but what if I don't like the taste?? I also wonder how safe it is to swallow that as well? I know all it is is protien and it probably won't hurt the stomache but how do I get passed that clammy taste? Not to mention there is so much of it that it's a lot to swallow. Help? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted February 16, 2007 Members Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 First, WELCOME to the Forum!Now, to answer your questions, I will start with the anal sex question. I have had discussions with my doctors about this, so this information not only comes from me, but it also comes via some medical professionals. Anal sex is safe, as long as you observe safe anal sex rules. For a complete run-down on this, check out my article on Everything Anal - but to break it down quickly, ALWAYS use lube...lots and lot of lube. Use condoms if you are not in a monogamous, serious, and safe relationship. NEVER continue penetration if you are in pain - go SLOW, take your time (or he should) and never continue if there is pain. Do not confuse pain with discomfort - the first time is often uncomfortable for a while - so just be careful.As far as if it will leave you "loose" later in life - the truth is - you have to have A LOT of continuous anal sex - with large objects to become loose - and it will take YEARS for this to happen. Most often homosexual men who have continuous anal sex won;t encounter this problem for many years - let us say 40 or more. THe muscles in the rectum are tight, and are meant to expand with bowel movements and then tighten back up. If you CONTINUOUSLY stretch these muscles, they will get more lax. This does not happen to couples who have anal sex often -but not continuously. Most weeks, I have anal sex at least 2 times a week - and I have not had a problem in 14 years. I am careful to not overstretch myself with huge dildos and we always are careful.Now, as for swallowing cum - listen, there is a whole thread on swallowing here - read it. Some women do not favor the taste and swallow anyway, some like the taste (I do) and swallow willingly, some don't swallow at all. The truth is, if you want to pleasure your man, you will at least try it. My PERSONAL OPINION, is that it is good to swallow for your man -but it is your choice. GIve it a shot, see how happy he is!Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Applesauce Posted February 17, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2007 Thanks a lot, I was just concerened with these but I am glad to hear it from someone who asked their doctors. I was going to talk to my gyno next time I go in..which is soon unfortunately, but I was a little nervous about it because......well, it's an awkward question. As for the swallowing cum thing, I will read those articles, but we have tried it before and I had such a hard time. He claims it's attractive but when we try it he says that it doesn't give him the satisfaction he thought it would. He says that it makes me look dirty and it doesn't appeal to him but then again I get the idea he likes it. I'm confused. He likes it but at the same time I think he feels like he shouldn't on my face or in my mouth, like it's rude or makes me look like a slut or something. I don't know, I can't tell how he feels on it. When I question him, he gives me both answers. He says he likes it but at the same time he doesn't. I am so confused. lol I decided to throw that one in there because it was something I just remembered right now. We have been dating almost four years now and the sex life is great but I feel like there are some things we need to work on. When I ask him what I can do more to please him he says that everything I do is great and he likes it alot. I mean he finishes great and he usually seems to have a good time but I feel like I need to be more interesting. Maybe it's just me! lol Those few things I mention is what I think I should focus on. hmm, I haven't tried costumes yet, maybe those will be exciting.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted February 18, 2007 Report Share Posted February 18, 2007 Thanks a lot, I was just concerened with these but I am glad to hear it from someone who asked their doctors. I was going to talk to my gyno next time I go in..which is soon unfortunately, but I was a little nervous about it because......well, it's an awkward question. As for the swallowing cum thing, I will read those articles, but we have tried it before and I had such a hard time. He claims it's attractive but when we try it he says that it doesn't give him the satisfaction he thought it would. He says that it makes me look dirty and it doesn't appeal to him but then again I get the idea he likes it. I'm confused. He likes it but at the same time I think he feels like he shouldn't on my face or in my mouth, like it's rude or makes me look like a slut or something. I don't know, I can't tell how he feels on it. When I question him, he gives me both answers. He says he likes it but at the same time he doesn't. I am so confused. lol I decided to throw that one in there because it was something I just remembered right now. We have been dating almost four years now and the sex life is great but I feel like there are some things we need to work on. When I ask him what I can do more to please him he says that everything I do is great and he likes it alot. I mean he finishes great and he usually seems to have a good time but I feel like I need to be more interesting. Maybe it's just me! lol Those few things I mention is what I think I should focus on. hmm, I haven't tried costumes yet, maybe those will be exciting....OK, well, since I'm not an anal afficinado, I will just add that, knowing several anal lovers (including some gay men too), the anal cavity has a lot of stretch to it, so don't worry, ok?As far as the coming on the face, and how your BF feels about it, I think that it's kinda sweet how your BF feels. Here he is, he wants to get down and dirty with you, yet, to me, it's not a question of maturity, but probably respect for you as his GF of long-standing. Let's face it, men usually love to watch porn, but do they really RESPECT the female porn stars? Probably not. They think of them as sex objects, nothing more. Your BF sees you more as a sexual object, but someone that he loves, and he thinks of you higher than that. Hence why he is probably a bit confused "yes I like it, but no I don't" kinda reaction. However, every once in a while, feeling like a sex object with someone you love can be very sexy and fun too.You say you want to make sex more interesting! Great!!! Lingerie, costumes, role playing, surprises (like having him walk in to a nice dinner, and all you have on is high heels, sitting at the table, feet propped up comes to mind.....), and, of course, adult sex toys! All can be wonderful and exciting additions to the bedroom. The search for sex toys and lingerie can be just as exciting as the actual usage of them!! I've even gotten my hubby so excited in a sex shop, that while trying on their lingerie, we had a quickie in the changing room!! Rekindling spontaniety too, is another way to make your sex life re-sizzle again. Good luck, and let us know how things work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Applesauce Posted February 28, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2007 AH, thank you VERY much! Well he is deffinately NOT into the whole clean thing, lol. He actually loves to make me orgasm more than once. He's made me do it 4 times in a row once. Let me tell you, I was tired when we got done. Anyways, I think Tyger is right. It seems to be that way. I must give off a certain reluctance too. We've had a couple of issues lately. I, unfortunately, had a bad child hood with my father. He was abusive and obsessed with pornography. No I wasn't raped, thank god! In any case he prioritized it over my sister and I when we were younger and would view it while we were home. The computer was in the dining room. How am I supposed to get food if I can't pass the dining room to get to the kitchen? Well, my boyfriend (being a MALE) enjoys pornography. Perfectly normal and all of that but I have some problems coming to terms with it. Especially since he views it behind my back and lies to me about it. He knows I am a bit iffy on it so he says he gets scared to tell me. I kind of get jealous of it and view it as cheating and then I feel like I'm ugly or unimportant. I would rather him not view it. I don 't mind viewing it possibly together but he uses it for his own sexual pleasures and satisfaction and then he becomes obsessive and our sex live goes DOWN hill. He isn't interseted in having sex anymore when we view it and when we do it ....well it sucks. I have now had to put a lock on the computer so that he cannot get on. I want to trust him but I don't understand what the problem is. We almost broke up all together and I asked him taht if he was curious and wanted to split up that we could do that and he could experiment with others. He said it wasn't worth it. He also claims that he doesn't really like pronography and he doesn't know why he is interested in it. He is a young male..I understand why he is interested in it. His hormones are through the roof, it's normal, I know. So he suggested that we make a date once a week for an hour or so and discuss anything that is on our minds. I agreed to be a bit more experimental and he agreed to be more respectful and be truthful. It wouldn't bother me as much if he was just truthful about it because what if he takes it a step further....although...he doesn't seem like he would go that far. His main thing is that he is VERY curious about anal sex and of course I started this article asking about it. See? I'm trying. I just have to get my endometreosis figured out so that I can stop all of my discomfort and pain and I should be well on my way! Oooh, I also found out that he likes nylons! That was fun. We are currently trying to move into an apartment together so that we don't have any outside porblems such as family. Unfortunately we are in college and he's been staying with me and my mom and my sister. Mom's are not good to have around when you're trying to have a relationship. I love her dearly but she tries to control too much. I'm hoping this move might bring us both closer again and maybe I can loosen up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Applesauce Posted February 28, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2007 Oh, I forgot to answer the question about eating pussy. Well it's actually his favorite thing! He will do it before sex, during sometimes, and after when he feels the urge. ^-^ I am VERY pleased. Maybe he just feels like I don't appretiate his cumming in my mouth in the back of his head. I'm still in training. hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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