Members m24 Posted April 1, 2007 Members Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 hello everyone, i have an issue with reaching a climax during sex. most of the time it takes me an hour to acheive an orgasim, from time to time it can be nearly 2 hours. my wife has no complaints except that after so many orgasims it begins to be uncomfortable and sometimes hurt her. So my question is what things can i do to help my achieve a orgasim sooner. please help, m24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 Welcome to the forum!! I must say that this is an opposite post for a man! Usually, it's how to get a man to last longer!Well, there are some questions that should be answered before we can really give you a good possible answer.Like, do you and your wife use condoms? Or desensitizing creams? Or any sort of birth control? If it's "male" birth control (condoms), that could be some of it. When she's getting sore, and probably dry, do y'all use lube? I strongly recommend using lube whenever possible. There's nothing wrong with using it. It also may help make your penis feel a bit more. Sometimes smokers, having more constricted blood vessels, have a bit more trouble orgasming, or so I've read. Diet, exercise, and over all health also contributes to orgasm potential.You also may just be concentrating so much on either maintaining an erection, not hurting & pleasing your wife (which is NOT a bad thing), and not relaxing, that your body blocks your ability to orgasm readily. Remember to keep it fun. Laugh, enjoy the sensations. And, maybe one night, tell her that you want to be able to "get yours" to see if you can cum quicker, without having to worry about hurting her. Maybe masturbate infront of her, or have her orally stimulate (BJ) you until you cum.If it's truly an issue, then I would suggest talking with a urologist. They may be able to give you more educated answers.I hope this helps a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollej25 Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 Another question to think about is, did you yourself have this problem while masturbating, or is this only during sex with your wife? I agree with tyger, i would really evaluate the situation, or maybe when she is on her period, see how long it takes you to get off then. Best of luck to you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted April 1, 2007 Members Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 Another question that popped to my mind was: are you two enjoying any foreplay beforehand? Try a long, FUN session of foreplay before you even go at actual sex. Enjoy different ways of pleasuring each other to the point where you just HAVE to enter her because you can't take it anymore! Relax, enjoy, try not to think so much about, "How long's it going to take this time...?" "Is it ever going to happen...?" It's not GOOD sex if both of you aren't enjoying it and if you're worrying about it, you're not enjoying it.As Tyger stated earlier, though, if you find this to be a bigger issue than just learning to relax and enjoy, see your doctor! Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members m24 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2007 we do engage in foreplay and we do not us condoms, and my wife doesn't get dry. its that after a long time of penetration it begins to be uncomfortable for her. maybe this information can help you help me. thanks m24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted April 2, 2007 Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2007 As long as it takes, you do climax yes? As long as you are having an orgasm - this is normal, even if it takes a long, long time. Are you on any medications? Certain medications can make orgasm harder for men or women. I would follow the other suggestions - LONGER, more intense foreplay. Do you masturbate at morning, perhaps in the shower? If you do - STOP IT! Perhaps go a day or two before sex - or have foreplay only days when you do not engage in sex - this will get your wife off, and build it up for you.If this problem persists, then do talk to your doctor. You could have a blockage of your seminal tubes (although I doubt it) or other medical conditions. I would also suggest to you if you do not have that problem during solo time, that you might want to look into getting a nice, long blowjob before hand, watch a dirty movie, do whatever you can to build your excitement. Hope you find some answers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members m24 Posted April 5, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted April 5, 2007 i will try all of those suggestions and keep you all posted!!!!!!!!!!! m24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members calvin Posted April 5, 2007 Members Report Share Posted April 5, 2007 Hi m24,Lot's of good advice from the other posters, here is one extra suggestion: try to reflect on what you are thinking about during sex - are you thinking about trying to orgasm, or are you relaxed and focusing on the pleasurable sensations? I know from experience that it is very difficult to orgasm when you are trying to orgasm - it's like trying to go to sleep by closing your eyes and willing yourself to sleep, it doesnt work. Try to refocus your thoughts on your own, or your wife's pleasure, and just relax.Then, if that doesn't work (sometimes it's hard to get in the right frame of mind once you have slipped into the wrong one) just remove yourself and masturbate, with your wife's help. It took some courage for me to do this the first few times, because it felt 'dirty' and 'weird' and not what I should be doing, but I took my cock out and instead straddled my wife, and masturbated to climax while she touched my legs and chest. Sometimes I grab her hand in mine to get her masturbating me but to my rhythm. It's easy to climax then . Once you realise you can finish off your sex like that, you'll be able to stop worrying about 'trying' to orgasm and enjoy the sensations, and that'll lead to orgasm during sex. If you're trying, then sex is becoming work, and as Howard and Mikayla always point out, sex should be fun and play, not work!I am also finding that doing different things helps a lot - if sex is always the same (as it was for me and my wife for a while, until recently) then it stops exciting you. The novelty of trying something new will help get you excited again.Let us know how you get on.Calvin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members calvin Posted April 6, 2007 Members Report Share Posted April 6, 2007 Howard,I didn't know that about scrotums. I shall pay attention to mine next time we are playing.We've finally arranged a date for saturday, somewhere noisy where we can't be overheard, we are going to have that fully-clothed talk about sex. I told my wife last night, so she has some time to think about questions. We are both still shy, and both perhaps still living under all those influences of society that have been telling us that sex is dirty, so it'll be good to have a conversation and get it all out in the open. I am looking forward to it, and my wife is too, which is a good sign. I'll post next week to tell you how it went.Calvin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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