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firegal

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My name is Sarah. I'm 36 years old and have been married to my hubby for 13 years. Lots and lots of ups and downs, mainly downs. Infertility, suicide attempt (me) and alcoholism (he's now in recovery) are the worst of the worst. Somehow we managed to get through everything, although our sex life isn't as fulfilling as I'd like it to be. I did buy some toys from Too Timid and we had a few nights of great sex, then nothing. :( I'm horny most of the time, but am so self-conscious & have such low self esteem that I have a hard time telling this to my hubby. You'd think after 13 years of marriage I'd know he loves me for who I am, not what I am. But I still have a huge hangup with him seeing me naked. :o Anyway, I'm hoping to be able to make some friends here and maybe get over my hangup.

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Welcome Firegal!

TooTImid is a WONDERFUL place to get advice, vent about problems, ask for suggestions and make friends! Many people have come here and found new happiness and life in their bedrooms, and kept on helping others!

You have had quite a past with your hubby - but this does NOT mean that things will necessarily be hunky dory for you. Things can be rough in any relationship.

I think finding out why you have a problem with body image might be a start. Have you had children? Gained weight? Always been shy about your body? If you can let us know what some of the core issues are, we can certainly try to help you.

What about hubby? Is he sober now? Does this change his attitude with sex? Does he initiate sex or seem uninterested now? Many people who abuse alcohol or drugs have a hard time with sober sex. Is this a problem for you?

You said you tried to end your life - have you gotten help for that? Counseling? Are you on medications? All this is relevant and I assure you, no one will judge you for what has happened in your marriage or life.

So, give us some more information if you feel comfortable and we will try to start helping you out!

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Welcome to the forum. I hope you're able to find some useful information here. Cruise the forums, read away, there's lots of helpful tips, opinions, and even some good clean debating going on.

Best Wishes.

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  • 1 month later...
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I think finding out why you have a problem with body image might be a start. Have you had children? Gained weight? Always been shy about your body? If you can let us know what some of the core issues are, we can certainly try to help you.

What about hubby? Is he sober now? Does this change his attitude with sex? Does he initiate sex or seem uninterested now? Many people who abuse alcohol or drugs have a hard time with sober sex. Is this a problem for you?

You said you tried to end your life - have you gotten help for that? Counseling? Are you on medications? All this is relevant and I assure you, no one will judge you for what has happened in your marriage or life.

Thanks Mikayla and sorry it took so long to reply.

To start off, yes I am overweight...have been most of my life. No kids (infertility probs) and I've always been shy about my body. I'm once again going to try to lose weight. I feel a little more optimistic about it this time, although I don't know why. Maybe once the pounds start coming off, so will my self consciousness problem.

Hubby is sober....a little under three years. I'm not sure if it's actually changed his attitude about sex, but I'm more horny than ever before. I think the biggest problem is that the years of alcohol abuse may have had him develop erectile disfunction. He did try Viagra, but our insurance doesn't pay for it so it gets costly.

The suicide stuff is in the past. Currently I'm on meds and have had psych help in the past. Unfortunately, it seems that once in a while the meds kick in and make my sex drive null....that really sucks!!!

So, that's about it. I'm hoping that once our finances get squared away, we'll be able to get more toys and be able to explore more areas that we haven't even thought of. Hubby's standing up in a wedding next month and I'm dying to get a remote egg to make it a memorable day for us. ;)

Thanks for your help and I can't wait to get to know everyone on here better and start adding my comments as well.

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Welcome and Have fun

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