Tyger Posted July 5, 2007 Report Share Posted July 5, 2007 An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of t he women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you Ladies swim naked or Make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator." Some old men can still think fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jesso Posted July 6, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 6, 2007 hahahahaahaha. good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kinky Twinkie Posted July 6, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 6, 2007 Hey Tyger I would never do that! I might warn them if there were alligators in the pond, but I would never do what the man in this joke did? ( I might wish I had, but...) My personal problem with this joke is that I was a trained life guard in my teens, and I have a lot of trouble finding much that is funny that might endanger people around water. Its a character flaw, but understandable after 9 saves. When you are the one who has to risk his life saving someone who got into trouble for no good reason, you lose your sense of humor about these things. I stopped swimming at beaches and even pools because I find myself watching idiots doing dangerous stunts, and swimming where they are not skilled enough to be. It ruins my having any fun in the water. I suspect its like getting a job working in a chocolate factory. The first day, you think you have died and gone to heaven: by the third day if you never smell chocolate again, it will be too soon! No one warned me about this affect on me when I volunteered to become a " hero ".And no one warned me that once I was trained, it would affect me, this way the rest of my life. Great joke! I hope others enjoyed it. It does a great job of letting the reader create his own ending, and images in response to what the guy tells the girls. I know my ending was terrific as a reflection of my own vivid imagination. HowardOh Lordy Howard.....did you have to bring safety to this joke? hehehehehehI understand the water thing though, I stopped going in lakes and rivers and oceans a long time ago. I like to fish and I seen what in that water. I come close to being food several times. In florida where I live, it seems like everything bites. Fish, gators, sharks, catfish, snakes, spiders, ants, yellow flies, ect. The last thing you want in these waters is your willy floating around dangling for a snapper to grab it. Should that happen you'll save money on the sex op I sure. You can find alot of snappers in these waters but if your lucky you'll end up with a organic version of a prince albertGlenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted July 6, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 6, 2007 Howard, Howard, Howard.... sometimes I wonder where you get this stuff!I was a trained lifegaurd from my Junior year in High School until I was about 22 and I didn't even think about the "safety" issues associated with this joke! Too funny, too, too funny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted July 6, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 6, 2007 *rofl* Hilarious!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members suebebe Posted July 7, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 7, 2007 Damn! I can't believe that old man told on us like that!!! Seriously, coming from Louisiana, I learned at a VERY early age that I only like to swim in nice, clean, swimming pools! Way too many unseen 'critters' in the murky waters for my comfort!! ---eww----and NO WAY IN HELL AM I GETTING IN THAT WATER WITH MY HOOCHIE COOCHIE EXPOSED!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted July 7, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 7, 2007 Good one Tyger!!!! Roflmao!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted July 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2007 I'm glad y'all liked it. And, I just wanted to add, these are JUST jokes, not to be taken seriously. Laugh and have fun with 'em! I'm trying to post one a day, since I've had several PMs and joke post responses telling me how much many of you enjoy them. So, I will try to come up with funny jokes for ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members me4now Posted July 9, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 9, 2007 bring it on i love them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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