Gets Close But Not There

[jenn4me]

my DP gets so close during oral sex and then totally loses it, meaning he can't/doesn't cum in my mouth.

He says that he's never done it before.. while he's had oral sex before he says that one woman threw up on him before he came. A few others gagged and most said ok, just don't cum in my mouth..

so a couple questions, why do women object to someone cumming in their mouth? I never have, I always thought the only choice was spit/swallow..

what can I do to relax him and get him to cum? He says I'm pushing all the right spots but that he has stage fright.. gets too caught up in cumming that he doesn't and we resort to "regular"sex to finish.

Now I'm a woman who loves the man orgasming and cumming, on me, in my mouth etc. I've not gagged, spit etc.

any tips??

[thurisas]

I have a problem slightly similar to your partner's. I have never been able to climax from getting head. It isn't that I don't want to, it isn't that I feel grossed out, it isn't that I'm not caught up in the feeling, it isn't that I'm not enjoying myself, and it has nothing to do with how my wife does it. I think I'm fairly normal and don't see this as a huge problem. From the sounds of it he is climaxing for you, just not in that one particular way. Perhaps with time, practice(lots and lots and lots of practice) and with you using methods to take his mind off of it in other ways(Howard's suggestion of massaging the prostate is one idea) that this will happen for you. The journey is most of the fun. Anyway, just keep trying new things, listen to his verbal and non-verbal communication to let you know what's working best, and see where it takes you.

Thurisas.

[Kinky Twinkie]

I've run into this problem before when I new in a sexual relationship, I have had girls try and give head only to start gagging which was something mental on there part. They were just grossed out by the idea. Now if he has experinced this then he might feel abit traumatized by this and even he has probelms relaxing to the point he can just let go at this point. Now over some time and experinces with recieving oral then he will just eventually relax and let loose. I got a feeling he might be trying to hard to relax when he and you both want it to the point he pressuring himself. And if you show disappointment then he will feel even more pressure. This is the last thing we want.

I would just keep giving and encouraging him to relax and drop hints subtilly that it okey if he dosn't but one day he is going to and you just can't wait for that special day to come. Once he gets passed the first time, he will start to cum on a regular bases. Make sure you let him know how much you loved it and just can't help craving that he do it again at some point.

I know I was apprehensive at first wit my wife(before she was my wife) but luckly I have had more women that liked it and swallowed then spit. I had trouble at first but I had to just say to myself "oh fuck it, if she don't like it then tough" After all wife was a virgin and I didn't know how she would react but she was exploring for the first time and I knew she seen a porn before so it wouldn't be totally foriegn to her. I could go "oops sorry" if she didnt like it. We had more problems with intercourse and me staying hard but then after a month or so everything started working out, I guess the ol equipment needing to get the rust out. It been along time since I had done intercourse so that was part of the problem.

Now you can always do the surprise finger near and into the ass if that a sensitive spot that you know turns him on, that can make many a guys almost cum beyond their free will. But that something you will have to think about.

Glenn

[Tyger]

I wouldn't go so far to say your BF needs a shrink, but his issues ARE all in his head. And, having a woman throw up on him probably didn't do much for his BJ ego either!!

He may just need time to get over it, allowing himself to just "go with the flow" so to speak.

Since he's had more than one lover either gag, throw up, or just tell him NOT to cum in their mouths, then, chances are, he has some deep seeded isssues, and, he may never get over it. He may be like Thurasis, and just not be one of those men that just can't seem to do so. Does this make him less of a man? Of course not. He has a complex, and with a past like his, I can't say I blame him!

However, all is not lost!

You can try to reassure him that you like to swallow. You want to swallow. Talk dirty to him, tell him you want to taste his cum in your mouth.

Just relax, have fun, and enjoy each other. There are several ways of pleasing each other. I wouldn't get too hung up on one thing too much.

Best wishes.

[roni]

i came across the same problem wit my ex. his ex was grossed out about swllowing or she would spit, so it was frustrating for me since i love for a man to come in my mouth and taste his pleasure..

i tried a few things and they did start to work, you might try some, first have you 69? i would hold off on orgamin till i knew he was close, you can tell because it gets so much enlarged and you can feel the viens getting so big they feel like there going to burst, then i let myself go and that worked 80% of the time since he was so relaxed when i came that he didn't even think about it and wow to his surprise he was coming in my mouth..

another trick is you said that you start with giving him a bj then finish off with him having sex inside you, have you tried doing just the oppisite, while having sex and he is about to cum have him pull out real fast and have him put it in you mouth and start sucking, maybe use your hand to keep the motion going. this can be a little tricky so you have to be fast on that one.

another trick was just to give him all the pleasure, don't let him touch you, this is quite a turn on for both i think. use your mouth then use your hand and give him a hand job, or let him give himeself one and when he starts to cum have him squirt it in your mouth and you just lick it and take all of it in letting him know how much you love the way he taste, the way he smells, wipe some all over your body, let him know how much you love it and i think he just might get over his complex..i'm no expert but i wish you all the luck..keep us updated and smile and relax cause all this can be as much fun as the climax, well almost lol,,

[krisleightate]

I had the same problem with my SO, it took about a year for him feel comfortable with it. Just be carefull not to make him feel as though he is being pressured. Just relax, talk dirty, and go with the flow. The first time I got my SO to cum in my mouth was when I woke him up with oral. Good Luck and Have Fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kinky Twinkie]

another trick was just to give him all the pleasure, don't let him touch you, this is quite a turn on for both i think. use your mouth then use your hand and give him a hand job, or let him give himeself one and when he starts to cum have him squirt it in your mouth and you just lick it and take all of it in letting him know how much you love the way he taste, the way he smells, wipe some all over your body, let him know how much you love it and i think he just might get over his complex..i'm no expert but i wish you all the luck..keep us updated and smile and relax cause all this can be as much fun as the climax, well almost lol,,

Now this sounds like a winner, a good place to start if nothing else. I turned on by just reading it, and yea it good to play with it( the cum). My wife will lick me and masterbate me at the same time and it felt so good that I didnt realize I wasn't coming in her mouth til after she did it a few times. I forgot why she didn't but sometimes she dosnt and other times she does. Just depends on the mood but I never know if I gonna cum in or on her which is exciting all it own

Glenn

[dazzleme]

Such good, good advice!

In time your SO might get over those issues or he might not but never pressure and as long as there is pleasure involved whether it is a complete BJ or partial ending in him being inside of you, don't stress it and he won't stress it as well.

One more thing, when we first started out and he was having a problem cumming in my mouth and I'd climb on top...right before he would come I would move down and he would then cum in my mouth or if he was on top at that point a simple movement and I was there to taste him....very very sexy IMHO Nothing my guy likes better than to hear me say how great we BOTH taste

Just my experience...good luck!