Being Married And Having Toys

[cwgrltinkerbell21]

So I was incredibly excited when I bought my very 1st toy! "La Femmela" So far its cool. But my husband thinks its his replacement. I really want to play with it with him too, not just by myself, nothing is better than the real thing to me but its not going to to hurt to have some fun. Can someone please tell me and my husband thats ok to have toys and that we BOTH can play with it. Some helpful tips on playing together would be gret too!!

Thanks!

Dionne

[Mikayla1]

*Ditto*

Howard is 100% correct - sex toys are NEVER a replacement for a live, breathing, feeling PARTNER - they are an enhancement! Your man has got to get over this and right quick! He has no idea what he is missing! Watching or helping your woman play with a sex toy and seeing her getting off is one of the sexiest things a couple can do!

Yes, YEs, Yes, tell him it is normal and healthy to play together - in fact, a couple who plays together, stays together!

[srvtt]

I think it is a little natural reaction, but he'll get over it. I have to admit, when I first watched my wife with her rabbit vibe, I felt a little inadequate after she had a toe-curling orgasm (after all I can't rotate my dick or vibrate at a high frequency). But after some of the newness has worn off, it will become a part of your sexual repertoire that you may or may not use on a particular night. Just like different positions on different nights.

I'd make sure you get him very involved with using it on you and he'll change his tune. We're probably having even more sex since getting a few toys. It is hardly a replacement, but really an enhancement.

[krisleightate]

I have to agree with the above statements. Let him play with you, with the toy.

[cwgrltinkerbell21]

The suggestion that a vibrator can replace the real deal is totally laughable. Shame on him. Nothing can replace the heat, and texture of a man's cock, or the closeness of his body to yours when he inserts his cock into your pussy. Nothing can replace the choice of movement a real man can make with his cock, surprising you all the time with what he does Next with his cock. He can change speed, change the depth of penetration, do circles, and spirals with his cock, or move his hips back and forth or side to side. He can insert just the crown of his cock, and then lean to one side so that the rim of his cock will catch on the inner labia on one side, and then alternate to catch the opposite one, pulling on it slowly so that it feels to you like he is pulling your vagina out of your body, until the labia slips over his cock with a Pluck or Pop sound, sending a jolt of electricity to your clit. He can use the crown of his cock to rub your clit or all around it, and never touch it directly, just to tease and arouse you. A man's cock does not feel anything like a plastic or rubber vibrator. And a vibrator can't kiss you, or hug you, or tease you, or whisper to you, saying how much he enjoys your body, and how wonderful it is to make love to you.

I can go on, and on, but he should be able to get a new understanding of his self worth as a lover.

Toys are not competition for men. They enhance the experiences. Men can use that same vibrator to keep you happy while they catch their breath or wait for that second erection. You can use it on him to get that second erections going. He can use the vibrator on you in conjunction with his sexual intercourse, adding to the adventure, and the wonder of what might happen next? What more could a woman ask for? And what more could a man ask for? I consider vibrators the best thing that ever happened to me. Most men complain that it takes too long for their wives to get interested enough to have sex. Well, with toys, women can pleasure themselves whenever they feel like it, and in the process, learn how to become aroused quickly, so that they can take advantage of Mr. Speedy. There is nothing nicer than to come home to find out that your wife is rarin' to go, and attacks you at the front door. If she is already aroused, YOU CAN ENJOY that QUICKIE, that we tried to enjoy when we were young, broke, and didn't have the money to rent a motel room, so we used the back seat of the car, or whatever. Quickies are wasted on the young, and the uninformed. Quickies are fantastic for couples who have learned every intimate detail about how to turn each other on. Toys are a great way to learn all those marvelous bits of information.

Please ask your husband to sit down with you and read the articles in the Sex Education section on orgasms, and the rest of the articles. They are all woth while to read, and even very experienced lovers report learning new things reading them. Its worth both of your time to do this. Then, if a subject interests either of you, go back to this forum and check the index pages to topics. We have some general topics, like " Everything else " which is where lots of different questions end up. We have pages and pages of topics, and under each one there may be several pages of questions and comments. But they are educational.

If you don't find an answer to a specific question, come back on and ask the question. The older members here pride themselves in helping out the newer members. All of us were new once ourselves. Some of us found out that we have more experience than others and therefore offer more advice. But everyone helps everyone else, here. Its a very friendly site.

Best wishes to both of you.

Howard

Thanks Howard! I read him what you said and he actually warmed up to the idea kinda quickly! We played with it the other night and he seemed to like it. He says watching me play with it and myself made him feel like excited b/c I was enjoying myself. HE even likes the vibrations himself on his balls! It was so much fun!! Thanks so much for the help, and reply!!!

[TI13GER22]

i actually bought my wife all of the toys she has. that way i get to anticipate her playing with them, and she gets a surprise when they arrive. also some of them get used on me too.

[me4now]

My husband was worried also we went to the store together and pick the silver bullet (that was our 1st toy) and we came home had awesome foreplay before our love making and it went from there we didnt just go for it we played around with the bullet (my breast,legs stomach etc..) and that help him out a lot once he saw my reaction and how i responded to his touches we both were hook

as everyon has said before me he cantbe replaced i really think that is a myth that is placed in our heads

[ShY]

"Can someone please tell me and my husband thats ok to have toys and that we BOTH can play with it. Some helpful tips on playing together would be gret too!!"

No way in hell are toys replacements! It is not possible, plus they do not even feel like the real thing. My husband was really worried when I wanted to get a dildo because he thought i was going to like it better. Once we recieved it, he saw that it was a turn on for him and me and that I did not like it better than him. We started off using it only once in a great while and him using it on my. He saw that this was great and would get me in the mood...which he loved so he decided that he wanted me to buy more toys. He knows now that they are no competition to his shaft and only bring more spice and exceitment to our sex life.

He does not want any toys because he says that all he wants and turns him on is seeing me turned on.

Dionne's husband, you simply need to relax and take the toy and play with your wife. You will see that it will turn you on and you will give you sex life an enhancement.

[me4now]

That is how you begin your career as a sex guru, in case you were interested.

Howard

I really like that Howard

[pappyld04]

Hello my T-town neighbors! Congratulations on your first purchase. If you really believe that we need to tell you it is OK to own and use toys, you are sadly mistaken. There is nothing wrong with this. Actually it is your willingness to try new things that I feel should be encouraged. Buying your man a toy to play with may go a bit further than our words. There is a great masturbation sleeve that I bought for $5 that I have been enjoying for aver a year now. It came with lube and has lasted for a long time. It sounds like your man has a few hang-ups about anything other than procreation sex. Getting him over this may take a bit of work. You should get creative here. Strip him and make him watch you while telling him how it feels then ask him how it looks when you penetrate yourself. Ask him to help you. Make him think about how your pussy looks when he is inside you. If he is really into sex then you will have no problems. One of the best ones I bought my partner was the one long one with a clit rubbing tool on the shaft. She loves this toy. I love to JO with my sleeve while watching her with one of her toys. You may even try a bit of mutual masturbation to let him see that other things feel good also. By him fingering you maybe he can begin to see it as something other that a rival. I can't say that I have ever been jealous of a toy so my opinion may not be helpful to you. My partner had her first multi-O with 1 in her pussy and 1 in her ass. Talk about sexy. She spent an hour cumming almost constantly. And after calming down a bit also spent a great amount of time cumming while trying to remove them. Every time she would start to withdraw one she would cum some more. I really thought I was going to have to take her to the doctor or something. It was hilarious to watch the faces she would make knowing that she was trying to get them out but was enjoying them immensely. The one in her pussy had almost vacuum locked inside of her. It took a bit of work to convince her to relax her vaginal muscles to let her get it out.