Gags

[sailorzelda]

So over the past few months with my current boyfriend, I've learned that there are many things about BDSM that I'm really into; however, there was one thing that came up a few weeks ago that I can't quite wrap my head around, and that is the whole ball gag fetish.

I just can't understand what is appealing about them; I looked at a few pictures to try to understand how people use them and why they might like them, but I just didn't find any of those pictures sexy or arousing at all.

Now, in this situation, I'm trying to think of it as something sexy to do for my lover, especially since I'm not the one who has to look at me if we were to involve a gag in play; however, I just can't see myself using one without feeling very silly.

What do you guys think? And if any of you are into that, what makes it appealing to you?

[thurisas]

I think what makes it appealing is it is one more control. If you use the gag you take away the ability to effectively speak just as a blindfold takes away the ability to effectively see and restraints take away the ability to effectively move. The thing with the ball gag is that it hampers your ability to utter your safe word effectively as well so you will have to find another signal. Keep in mind I am not into the heavy bondage thing(just the light stuff ) and I have no practical experience.

Thurisas.

[Mikayla1]

Thurisas is correct in his assessment of what the appeal of a ball gag is - it is NOT for the person wearing it, it is for the DOM. The appeal is that the DOM has COMPLETE control of his sub when it comes to speech. He or she can squeal a bit, but CAN NOT talk. A ball gag is also VERY uncomfortable - which I know by experience. It is a panicky sort of feeling - you are not only rendered unable to speak, but you also have the ball part of the gag pushing into your throat. It feels sort of like you are choking - and this is not a pleasant feeling.

I put ball gags into the more advanced BDSM category. You can not say a safe word - this is part of the appeal to the DOM. If you decide to play with one of these, make sure you can have a safe action - like closing your eyes, or blinking quickly. You always have to have an out. The thing is, for many BDSM couples who have been playing for years and years, there is no safe word. The sub willingly takes whatever the DOM dishes out.

You indicate that this looks "silly" to you. Does that mean you have no fear of it? If you only are apprehensive because you feel you would look funny, then perhaps you should try it. Doing things our lovers what to try is a great way to stay sexual and keep the relationship hot. However, if you are at all apprehensive about the PURPOSE of the ball gag, then I would say to tell him that you are not prepared to go there. He should respect that.

FOr many BDSM couples, the ball gag is a staple. THere are, of course, many more EXTREME restraint options once you have crossed the line from light to regular BDSM. For example, one of the most extreme things I have tried (and didn't like AT ALL) was a latex body bag - where the only hole were for the mouth, breasts and pussy. IT was hot, sticky, and too confining. This was way over my comfort zone - and that took a lot.

However, if you are interested in a ball gag, here is a link to one:

Devin Lane's Ball Gag

If you want to look at more extreme bondage items, PM me and I will give you a site to visit.

Good Luck!

[krisleightate]

I had to delete my comment it was rude so I will say nothing.

[Mikayla1]

Anyone who has been following this thread may notice that there have been some post deletions. As many people have voiced their extreme displeasure with the judgmental tone that one of our board members has used when it comes to BDSM and certain activities, I have take the liberty (as moderator) of deleting that post and every post after (including 2 of my own) in order to remove the controversy.

The Fetish and Bondage portion of the forum is one where many people will have many different levels of experience or knowledge. It is most important to know that as long as the people participating in BDSM are CONSENTING ADULTS it is indeed their right to participate in whatever they so desire.

When posting on this forum it is also important to remember that what sexually arouses one person may not arouse another. We are all free to have our individual experiences when it comes to sex.

While we all have our distinct and personal experiences when it comes to sex, we have to always be cognizant that you can not "lump the whole into the few." Meaning, if you have had a bad experience with something - anything from a toy to a bondage experience - you can give your experiences and report them, but you can never expect that experience to be the same for ALL people.

While all opinions are welcome here on TooTimid, we are trying not to make people feel guilty, bad, dirty, stupid or otherwise impart negative feelings on ANYONE for THEIR CHOICE in sexual experience. When we use words like "silly person" or "emotionally disturbed" it makes those persons interested in those activities feel bad or angry about that person's opinion.

Clearly, if an activity were illegal (such as sex with a minor) we could all agree that it is wrong to talk about, think about or even imagine such a disgrace. However, when it comes to things that are between consenting adults, we have to leave our personal feeling about the activities behind.

People who come and read this forum take on the personal responsibility of protecting themselves. While we do often try to give warnings or protection advice for those whom read but do not post, it is important to do so in a manner that does not degrade or otherwise stigmatize those whom are enjoying the activity.

In short, if you do not know about a subject on this forum - including BDSM - and find yourself posting in a judgmental manner - please refrain from doing so and let those whom understand the poster answer. We want TooTimid to be a place for acceptance - not judgments - and a place to discuss our fantasies, fears and the like.

We want and expect ALL posters to post appropriately. If you find a post disturbing in any way, please report this to a moderator so that we can handle this as we see fit, hence how I have done today!

[elise]

I will echo what Thurisas and Mikayla have said about gags. My hb and I are very comfortable with a certain amount of BDSM in our sex life, so we have tried various types of gags. Since I'm almost always the sub in our bedgames, I'm the one who gets gagged. It is a huge turn-on for my hb, but I also enjoy it too. From the sub's perspective, being gagged enhances one's sense of surrender. I like the sensation of being filled at both ends, so to speak, so that's another plus. On a practical note, if you're a woman who tends to respond to pleasure by making a lot of noise, a gag can restore your freedom to moan or scream as loud as you like without waking the kids.

Ball gags are the most extreme type of in-the-mouth gags. We tried two types a few years ago, in different sizes. The smaller one didn't fill my mouth, so I could still talk (which defeats the purpose, obviously) and the larger one was really uncomfortable.

We have found the best sort of gag is a long bondage ribbon (I posted on how to make these several months ago) with a knot tied in the middle of it. By trial and error we found the right size of knot to fill my mouth. This effectively muffles my ability to speak, and it moulds itself to the contours of the inside of my mouth. It's very comfortable and very muffling. If you don't like the dry sensation of the cloth in your mouth, you can dip it in water (or white wine... mmmm!) first.

Gags aren't for everyone, but they can be tremendously fun.

[hotrob]

So over the past few months with my current boyfriend, I've learned that there are many things about BDSM that I'm really into; however, there was one thing that came up a few weeks ago that I can't quite wrap my head around, and that is the whole ball gag fetish.

I just can't understand what is appealing about them; I looked at a few pictures to try to understand how people use them and why they might like them, but I just didn't find any of those pictures sexy or arousing at all.

Now, in this situation, I'm trying to think of it as something sexy to do for my lover, especially since I'm not the one who has to look at me if we were to involve a gag in play; however, I just can't see myself using one without feeling very silly.

What do you guys think? And if any of you are into that, what makes it appealing to you?

My girl friend and I take turns tying each other. We use only cotton rope with ball gags and sometimes blindfolds. Most of the time the one doing the tying has the other do oral sex on them. I reach orgasm just tying her. I also reach orgasm as she is tying me. The sex is not only gratifying, the orgasm reached is totally out of this world. Just tying her hands behind her then the ball gag and then tying her feet, legs, arms waist and pulling all the ropes tighter just drive us into outer space. I and she continue to experiment in new ties. Stringing the ropes ubove and below her breats and through her vigina to pull her arms tight cannot help but drive you wild. We take our time doing the roping to highen the orgasms. touching each other and doing a little oral touching during the roping gets almost to high to explain.

The sensation of having the other in total control is hard to explain, being forced to satisfy her time and time again drives me to come over and over. The same goes for her when I am tying her. I sometimes come so hard I have to leave her totally tied up until I can rest and come again. I can think of no other way to have great sex.

Read bondage 101, gags are a big part.