Members calvin Posted November 24, 2007 Members Report Share Posted November 24, 2007 Hi all,I posted a while ago having erection problems, but then life got pretty hectic (work and study) and so I put this forum on hold, though I have been back to lurk from time to time.Life is back under control though, so I thought it's about time I posted again.I have had time to think during this period, and I have definitely figured out what the problem was. It was pretty straightforward, once I started looking at it from the right direction (for opening my eyes, I have this forum to thank) - sex was boring. It was always the same, there was no thrill of new stuff, and me and my wife were pretty much doing it by the numbers. It seems that we both have lots to learn. Neither of us were really communicating what we wanted, either because we were too embarrased, or because we just didnt know what we wanted. And we weren't ever doing anything new, which meant the thrill had really gone. But we have made some progress lately. I bought my wife a novelty toy kit (a vibrator, a feather and some velcro handcuffs) for her birthday, along with a book, and that started the conversation going, albeit slowly. We are starting to become a little more open about sex, instead of it being something we never talk about (or do) outside of bed with the lights off. We still have some way to go, but we are making progress. And a few days ago I ordered my first tootimid purchase - the karma sutra board game. Reading mikayla's review it seems like that would be just the thing to get us talking about sex more openly, as well as experimenting with new things. That's all for now, I just wanted to re-introduce myself, I should be able to post more regularly now - I will probably do so just as a way of charting our progress. Thanks to all the regular posters on this forum - it's a real eye-opener to see people discussing sex so openly. Calvin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted November 24, 2007 Report Share Posted November 24, 2007 Welcome back, and I'm glad that some self-exploration (mentally) has opened your eyes and made life better for you and your wife in the bedroom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunshine Sam218 Posted November 24, 2007 Members Report Share Posted November 24, 2007 Welcome back Calvin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted November 24, 2007 Members Report Share Posted November 24, 2007 Self-exams are always a good place to begin when a problem arises. It's nice to know that some people are willing to do this. For every one that does I bet we see 2-3 who don't. It's also good that this board has helped you to find the solution. I do have 2 questions for you though. 1)- Why turn the lights off? 2)- Have you christened the cuffs yet? LOL!!!! Sex is about fun keep it that way and you can't go wrong!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members calvin Posted November 27, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 Hi all,Howard, I like your idea about the rooms, actually no, we have only had sex in the bedroom, and the bathroom a couple of times, so I guess there is lots of room for exploration.Your idea about us reading the sex ed articles together is a good one, with one small hitch - without giving too much away (maybe I will become a little more confident posting here as time goes on) we live abroad, and whilst I am fluent in my wife's language, her english is not enought to be able to read those articles. I may try translating a couple, but do so is more time-consuming than you might think. I am trying to share some of the ideas though, and have told her about this site. Pappy - why with the lights off? My wife tends to get rather embarrassed with the lights on, though we have made some progress here, and have left a small night light on a couple of times recently. I like it, since I get to see whats going on, but my wife is less keen at the moment, though hopefully will get more used to the idea. And yes, we did christen the cuffs. I was wearing them - it was interesting, I think it might get better once I get my wife to understand that once she has power over me, she can tease me as much as she likes. Now THAT i find a turn-on. I'll let you know how that goes. Again, mostly we need to get better at knowing what we want and like, and communicating that to each other. I guess both of us are still not really in touch with that side of ourselves. That's why this site has been such an eye-opener - people who seem very nice and normal (and so friendly and welcoming) talking all about sex in such an open way. Hopefully it'll be lots of fun learning from you all Calvin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members calvin Posted November 28, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted November 28, 2007 Howard,reading and translating them together is a really good idea - I wonder why I didnt think of it? Thanks for the suggestion, I will print out a couple so we can read them together. And of course, simply looking at articles about sex together will be a good way of dispelling the embarrasment we feel. I'll let you know how it goes.Calvin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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