Members telecom69 Posted October 4, 2005 Members Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 My girlfriend loves me deeply, and I can see those intense emotional feelings for me everytime I see her. I love her deeply to. As I've posted before, sex really doesn't seem that important to her, at least as I see it. She still can't orgasm via masturbation or with me. I've tried pretty much everything. She is getting really stressed out about it to and feels she is letting me down. I know sex would become more important once she can experience an orgasm though. It sure did to my ex-wife! She says she wants to experience one of those "wild screaming intense" orgams that her friends say they have and that she reads about. I've told her not all women have orgams like that. What I'm trying to say is sometimes I think she only has sex with me to take care of me and to keep me around. I hate that feeling, as I don't want her to feel that way. Often when I think she feels like that, I lose any arousal and don't want to be intimate. Comments?She says she uses a vibrator about once a week, without much success. She says she gets to a point of high excitement, but it only lasts for maybe lasts 1-2 seconds. Could she be having an orgasm and disregarding it since the feeling is so brief? Comments? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chris4u Posted October 4, 2005 Members Report Share Posted October 4, 2005 I think you said it best..."sometimes I think she only has sex with me to take care of me and to keep me around. I hate that feeling, as I don't want her to feel that way." Now just tell her of those feelings and thoughts when your sitting on the couch in a soft, compasionate manner. Tell her how much you love her and that sex isn't nearly as important to you as she is to you. Tell her the sexual experiences you and she seek will come in time. Telling her all this will ease the tension and any anxiety she may feel towards sex and may allow for a increased proabability for an orgasim in the near future. The high hopes she has may be holding her back. Don't tell her this, it's by no means romantic. I wish you lots of luck Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sexysandra Posted October 5, 2005 Members Report Share Posted October 5, 2005 (edited) edited Edited January 15, 2006 by sexysandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members telecom69 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Members Report Share Posted October 5, 2005 I actually would like to take a break from sex to take the pressure off of both of us, but this makes her feel like she is letting me down, which she isn't. I've told her I am fine without it for now and love the emotional intimacy we share. She is still fighting demons from her old sex life in which she just felt used by her husband of 22 yrs. She hated having sex with him and just did it to not rock the boat. Thye would just do it for mabe 10 mins, go to the bathroom to clean up and then go bto sleep. I love foreplay with her before, and we spend a lot of time after cuddling, laughing, kissing, etc. She still says it takes some getting used to to be caressed and held after making love, but she now thrives on it, and so do I. I guess I'm weird in that I like all that to. Hey, I'm 46 yrs old now and I've been thru the bang em and leave em days, and that no longer appeals to me anymore and hasn't for awhile. I'm considered attractive and in very good shape for my age. My girlfriend is a few lbs over weight and is self consious about the differences in our looks. She is so beautiful to me, but she still wonders why I'm with her, and that creates some issues to. She has told me that any day she expects me to tell her "its been fun, see ya". I have no plans for that. I like all the advice about backing off and taking it easy for awhile. Thx... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie Sparklefaerie Posted March 20, 2017 Newbie Report Share Posted March 20, 2017 You should ask her to read your post. Id fall for you all over again. Might make you a whole new man in her eyes. Then ...try a blindfold, hot tub, and whipped cream. Ya never know! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bluetooth Posted April 23, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 23, 2017 love always comes when you engage in sex. Sex without love is like torturing a corpse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted May 4, 2017 Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 It would be interesting to see what happened with this. This post originated in 2005, so we may never know specifically. However, I don't think that this is a very rare issue. Some women can get so focused on TRYING to orgasm, that they actually try too hard and are unable to do so. They overthink it. Plus, one major thing is to figure out what gets you off as a woman. You can't teach someone how to please you if you don't know how to do so yourself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 23, 2017 Report Share Posted September 23, 2017 But that's half the fun for a passionate caring guy is to find out her combination and unlock her orgasm .where she has no control over her own body it just happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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