Chris4u

Seeing that I've had a foot fetish since I was in pre-school (yeah, I looked at feet even then) that I do it on occassion. I say occassion, b/c some toes (I only such girl toes) just repulse me, as do their feet. I'm obsessed with the concept of what the perfect foot looks like...maybe that's why I'm becoming a podiatrist...for real. It can be a turn on for me, but only if the feet look good, real good. I've never had mine sucked and never want to. It disgusts me, just the thought of it. It just seems wrong...well out of place.

Okay, there are many things going on here and several factors to address if your problem is to be solved. Now there's nothing wrong with having sex 1-2 times a week. I don't know what your ages are or what your jobs entail, but those two things have enormous implications on peoples sex lives. The older you get doesn't mean it will get worse or better. Years before retirement a person could be tired after a long day at work and really have no drive. Once retirement hits though, you really don't have much else to do So getting back to work for a sec....that could add to it, maybe. I don't know your personal lives besides what you've written. Now it sounds like your man has a stubborness problem, something for the life of it you may never be able to change, much less phase it much at all. Some guys are stubborn and just don't want to discuss such things and it pisses them off when you even merely mention it in passing. Counciling can help, but it may piss him off more. He has that problem to address. The fact that he doesn't think the world of sex is because he doesn't find it to be a neccessity in your relationship. You feel the need for it a lot, whereas he on the otherhand likes it in the right moments. That's the key...the right moments. You could have many more of them if you address your fear of initiation. Your lack of self-confidence adds to your delema. You don't need to come on strong. Some think strong signals give rise to fast results. That's not always the case, and to many not as sexy. You want to target him with subtle signals and work your way up as he engages more in this game we play. If he doesn't seem to be interested, make them a little more obvious, but if increasing the heat doesn't work, then just forget about it At this point I'd try later on when he's maybe more inclined. You don't need to dump him. If your crazy about him, that's great. Sex doesn't make a relationship. It's the finishing touches, the icing on the cake if you will. You got to give the problem time to mend, but you can't leave it alone, both of you must address each others problems as well as correcting the ones you yourselves are burdened with.

It's only too much when your life is so dependent on it that you loose focus on what matters (school, work, social life, etc.) Also when your bank account takes a beating.

No, I don't let anyone shave me anymore. I don't like to be competely bald down there, but what's left is trimmed down. I think it's presence is much more masculine, I'm long past puberty, so I want to look it. Too long hair is not convinient for her though and same goes visa versa. When I did shave it though, I did it myself for the most part. Down there it's very sensitive and when it bleeds it's not cool. Not that it bleeds profusely or for a long time, but it's plain annoying and could cause an infection. I know how to do it so I feel no resistance or suffer cuts. This wasn't the case for two partners I had in the past do it for me. One reminded me of my first time shaving, so there was faint blood appearances here and there. The other though cut me where the penis meets the torso. It obviously isn't something to take lightly. There's blood and more blood...more so than scraping your arm, for there's a lot of pressure down in those arteries. After that I stopped allowing anyone to do so for me and eventually I just trimmed for the most part. I wont shave a girl in the sensitive areas. Above the vagina yes, but around the lips NO

I think you said it best..."sometimes I think she only has sex with me to take care of me and to keep me around. I hate that feeling, as I don't want her to feel that way." Now just tell her of those feelings and thoughts when your sitting on the couch in a soft, compasionate manner. Tell her how much you love her and that sex isn't nearly as important to you as she is to you. Tell her the sexual experiences you and she seek will come in time. Telling her all this will ease the tension and any anxiety she may feel towards sex and may allow for a increased proabability for an orgasim in the near future. The high hopes she has may be holding her back. Don't tell her this, it's by no means romantic. I wish you lots of luck Chris

Here's the deal, if you both consent to sex (whether your brother and sister, cousins, etc.) and don't tell anyone, then don't worry about it.

But ask yourself this, would you break up a relationship over the fact that your partner wasn't great in bed, yet you were madly inlove? People who think in that context may never find the love of their life, because they have some fantasy that is just that...a fantasy. Over time both will improve, but even if ones progress is slower than desired, one must feel the need to find another partner. You may have quoted your boyfriend incorrectly or at least it sounded harsher than his sarcastic reply may have been. Over time you'll get better, so don't worry immediately that you aren't what he expected. If he's a good bf then he'll help you along the way. Do all that you know to this point. Don't hold back, you'll have to try those moves out anyway in the future. Just relax and have fun, he's not expected pornstar sex.

I know many who have tattoos and 3 of them are virgins, but 2 of those 3 are really not very sexy or attractive, so that's maybe why with them. The last one is kind of old fashion and wants to wait until she's really head over heals for the guy and possibly wait even until engagement. I don't really care whether a girls got one or not. Size and/or placement are issues with me...oh and I simply don't get the oriental character love some girls have. For all I know they could have the house special tattooed on their shoulder blade. I bet you most don't know what's written on them in chinese or japanese...I don't know which is which by just looking. I mean, no one would have looked at Britney Spear's character and expected it to be what it actually was. The graphic art just above the ass is more common these days...and of course the oriental stuff. What ever happened to the pics on the arm or the markings that made a band around your upper arm...not that I really care for either. Tattoos in my opinion look good on the really young, but start looking out of place by middle age, and when I see a grandmother with art on her breast I just stare and try to picture what the hell she'd look like nude with her ink art. Not pretty. I think that there's just a conception that all who have tattoos bear them them as a sign that they are a tramp, playboy, sex maniac, etc. I'd place a good bet that the great majority who have tattoos before marriage are not virgins. The 3 virgin girls I know with tattoos make up about 18%. What national figures are is anyones guess.

Several things...first off, marriage only after 4 months of dating Secondly and most importantly, he said he wouldn't marry you unless you were good at sex. Marriage is about love, not sex. Sex is the icing on the cake, but hardly the foundation. He just wants sex and depending on how good you are he may stay with you or move on to someone else. There are jerks like that and loosing your virginity shouldn't be to such a guy. You don't have to rush losing your virginity, just find the right, special guy (you don't have to marry him, but if he is nice, considerate, and more...go for it if it feels right). Don't settle with this guy though. You may think he will stay being your boyfriend, but the story could have a sad ending for you (and NOT for him). Be patient, you'll find someone sooner than you may think.

Go in the yellow pages or some reference and find out which places in your area do portrait photos. Some small businesses will take photo's both in their place and in areas you'd designate as ideal. Find out which places take photos for high school and college students. Many students get pictures taken in the park, next to buildings or statues, and with pets, etc. etc. These agencies are as affordible as they get for good quality pictures at prices students can afford. I doubt they'll do nude pics though.

Maybe nothing. I don't know what medication your on, but if medications do such things, it's because the chemicals inside block receptors and stimulators to allow the many components in your body to creat cum. If your producing lube and no sperm, that's because your spermatagonia are inhibited and they are responsible for sperm production. The medication could also inhibit sertoli cell functions. These are the "nurse" cells in the testes and nurture and mediate the maturity of sperm. If your not producing lube either, then the prostate and bubuloureathral (can't spell) are affected too. Once you get off the medication it should be okay, but medications don't only target what's wrong with you. Obviously that's why there are side-effects. In your case this could be one and if so, there's nothing you can do about it. Get better and it'll return.

Very true howard. A virgin isn't going to be an expert in sexual acts and love-making on the honeymoon. Experience makes that happen as howard so plainfully spelled out. A virgin, with or without the knowledge, is a ver 1.0 or 1.5 respectively in the bed the first time through. That isn't to say that they can't learn to be as good as others, because they can but with time. Having multiple partners I've been able to improve in areas I felt less successful in, but even with many partners it still takes time. Everything takes time I don't look at someone differently for marrying before or after loosing their virginity. Some people marry their high school sweethearts and may not have had a partner prior to he or she. They're lucky that they found the right one so early in life. Yes, faithfulness isn't solidified in marriage, considering statistics show that over 25% of married women cheat on their husbands, and over 15% do likewise. How true this is I don't know. I stopped relying on statistics when I got into college. I go to Auburn University, in Auburn, AL. During freshmen orientation one of the speakers said "girls, look to your left and right...statistics show that before you graduate that those two girls will have been raped." I don't know how they came upon 66% getting raped and 1 in 12 guys being rapists, but there are mathmatical factors and unreported cases that obviously comprise this. But getting back to faithfulness. A girl with only one man in her life (and the same goes for men) may be curious as to other guys and have a one-nighter or a fling. To help ensure his/her loyalty one must communicate regularly, make your partner feel part of and important in your life, don't inspire jealousy or regret in them, and many other things. Whatever you feel is right to you...to be or not to be before marriage...you must follow you emotions and do what feels right. There isn't a right or wrong answer.

Okay, I have a better perception of what is going on. It's like you stated, he just needs to get in the mood. I found the HBO program very interesting and even though it's not the same scenario, you can probably borrow some of the concepts. Here's what the therapists told the couple on the programs: 1) set some goals and both of you must commit to them each day 2) don't have intercourse for a week...this might be painful to you but probably feels alright with him...but you MUST have him engage you in intimate acts. For example, your preparing luch or something and he comes from behind and caresses your hips and butt and foundly kisses your neck and shoulder. 3) each day sit facing each other naked, sitting down with legs crossed, and gaze into each others eyes while the tips of your fingers touch his. They did this on the program for I don't know how long each day, but it was part of the system they were to commit to. 4) start and end each day snuggling together and kissing, etc. Do this for a week and then go into sex like missionary (only sex where your face-to-face and can kiss each other obviously) Hopefully after two weeks from the beginning of this program you'll see a huge improvement on your relationship. It really worked for the couple and their problem was intamacy. I think your husband needs to get this tackled first before you move on to different approaches in sex. Try it out if you would and reply back in 2 weeks. I'd be really interested, as would others, if this sort of thing works. If it doesn't, go to a sex therapist and see if they can pinpoint the problem for you two, or hopefully someone else on this forum can give better advice.

Howard, I totally understand your feelings about guys who want to marry a virgin...but I don't know I'd go as far as you do in your explanation as to why they do. Granted I bet the guys you know did it for that reason, since you know them. I know two guys who are not broken in themselves and religion is the factor. I don't know if they'll find sex dirty...do you think Jessica Simpson would? She waited and from what it sounded like on her MTV show she has a good sexual relationship. I know you weren't placing complete blame on the factors you listed, but I think for anyone visiting this site and reading about losing their virginity should know that they wont be ridiculed for holding back till marriage or be labeled as finding sexual practices dirty. I think many who choose to do so because they want to make sure their partner is faithful and perhaps they'd feel jealous at the prospect of that partner having fun with someone else. Maybe in their subconcious they would wonder if they were as good or less satisfying than their spouse's previous partner(s). Even if both of you have had sex with others, sometimes one is suspicious as to their performance rating compared with past partners. There are so many reasons why people choose sex before or after marriage and it just depends on the social environment and the individual themself. But I do agree with you howard that there are those who find sex dirty and should basically be practiced for procreation.

I hear it just fine.