Dorm Sex

[tess21]

I've noticed that not many of the people who post on this forum are of college age. But you all give pretty good advice, and are very respectful, so I'll ask you this question anyway.

Would you recommend casual encounters with the guy friends I live with in my dorm? Especially if I've never done it with anyone before? A friend of mine and I have been getting really hot and heavy, and he is really sweet and understanding, but I'm just worried the sweetness won't persist, and things will get awkward. What do you think?

[brandyfan411]

There are many people here of college age.....I am (I'm in college)! lol

I believe you mean that you've never had sex before. Neither have I but if I were to have sex, it WOULDN'T be in a dorm! Being it your first time, you're gonna need all the time you can because you've gotta break that stupid thing called a hymen (the only thing standing between me and my g-spot orgasm). Plus, people tend to walk into dorm rooms lol and you want privacy. I would go to a hotel before I did it in a dorm room. But that's my opinion *winks*.

Vicky

[synirr]

Being it your first time, you're gonna need all the time you can because you've gotta break that stupid thing called a hymen...

Not necessarily true on the hymen thing. Some women have a thin hymen that can be torn during vigorous exercise, or insertion of a tampon. Mine must have been like that, because I have no recollection of having one and assume it was torn during some such activity early in my life (and yes, I had actually gotten a mirror and looked for it at some point, haha.) Also didn't bleed my first time, though it did hurt some.

BUT, if you are interested in having a pleasant experience, Brandy may indeed have a point. You don't want to have to rush through it for fear of getting caught.

If I'm understanding your question correctly, you're really more worried about how it will effect your relationship with your friend, right? That's a question that would require psychic ability to answer with any confidence, but I guess what you're going to have to ask yourself is, first of all, if you really want this... and second, if you want it enough for it to be worth risking your friendship over. If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then I say go for it!! Otherwise, you may want to hold off and put more thought into it.

[Valntyn]

I've noticed that not many of the people who post on this forum are of college age. But you all give pretty good advice, and are very respectful, so I'll ask you this question anyway.

Would you recommend casual encounters with the guy friends I live with in my dorm? Especially if I've never done it with anyone before? A friend of mine and I have been getting really hot and heavy, and he is really sweet and understanding, but I'm just worried the sweetness won't persist, and things will get awkward. What do you think?

Okay, when I read this question, apparently I focused more on the "casual encounters with the guy friendS..." as in multiple sex encounters with multiple guys that you live around.

Having also lived in a dorm, my answer would be "not advisable." I remember when I lived in a dorm, I made friends with a guy on my floor. There was nothing sexual going on, but yah, we did flirt! I got a VERY bad rep that year from the entire guy's wing as being a tramp -- and I hadn't done anything to make that rep happen! It got in the way of studies, normal dorm life, etc., and it sucked. Now multiply that by however many guys you're talking about and see how fast you gain a reputation on campus. Just food for thought....

If you're talking about only being with this one guy with whom you've been "getting really hot and heavy," then I would ask myself if you want a more steady "boyfriend/girlfriend" role from this guy or if you just want what's referred to as a Friend With Benefits. Then talk to him, include him in your thoughts before the situation goes further. That way, you both know what each other wants. If you find you agree with what you want, go for that decision. If you find you're looking at the relationship in two different ways, end it on a friendly note (and hope he stays a sweet friend).

Good luck!

[Mike_d]

I know guys and girls who have sex all the time in campus in the dorms. IF you decided to go through with this, you need to work out a code with your roomie. If there is X on the door, I am getting busy. It works all the time. I don't know about getting reputations and all that, I never got hung up in all that stuff at college, I was more intrested in getting the grade. Maybe it will hurt your studies and your reputation, both things to consider. I would never tell you to have sex with just someone you flirt with on the dorm floor, if you do choose to make this a physical relationship, make sure you know what you are getting your self into. Many college guys are hit it and quit it kinda ppl.

[pappyld04]

Here's a jolt for some of you. I've seen the dorm life also. Although I didn't pursue any of the girls there my roommate had a young lady there. He would tell me in advance about their plans and I would wait in the rec. area until seeing one or both of them out of the room. I would never recommend this for a virgin though unless you have been educated and/or informed of all the neccessities of something like this. It is your choice but don't make it in haste!!!

[KentJ]

Like previous responders have stated, it appears that you have posited two queries: Loving your virginity and having sex with a fellow dorm member.

First, losing your virginity is something that you must be emotionally ready for...well i quess that is not true, as you could say that vaginal and anal sex provide the opportunity to "lose your virginity" twice. But let's stay focused on the "classical notion" of virginity.

Make sure you are ready to "begin" further sexual exploration. As a college age adult, make sure you have protection, and are aware of the physical responsibilites associated with sexual play - STDs, pregnancy. Also be ready to deal with the emotional side. For some people, sex means attachment/committment and relationships become much more intense. For others, they become highly interested in "exploring" sex with multiple partners and don't want to be committed to one person.

Which leads me to you and your friend. You both need to be clear on what your having sex will mean for both of you. That means having a discussion without the pressure of the moment. I can remember when I was in undergrad; my life was about going to class, having the next meal, and sex...and not always in that order. Fortunately, my girfirend (we dated for six years) and I were on the same wavelength. We were mostly monogomous, and we would talk about what our other experiences were.

Finally, the most import sex organ is your brain. Use it! Most guys is college do not, so sometimes you will have to use it for them...so eveyone can be as fulfilled as possible!

Njoy

[littlemissnonamegirl]

Hi!

I too, like brandyfan am in college and I am a virgin. I think you just gotta remember privacy, a lot of time, are key. But also, the dorm room may not be the best place to do it as a first time. Really think about too if you want to do that with him, or if it's strictly infatuation but nothing more. I mean just be sure he's not some guy being sweet then trying to take advantage of the fact you are a virgin. Just because I have some friends it's happened to. But above all, be safe and use protection and sit down and talk about it with him and your roommate. So if you do decide to do it, you work out a system where there will be privacy and no random people just walking in.

Hope this kinda helps!