Is My G-spot Dead?

[lilpink]

Hi Sexperts -- I've listened to the podcasts for awhile, the topics help keep me interested during my early morning runs -- which led me to this site. I've spent quite a bit of time here, among other places, looking for an answer... and while I've read lots of info about where the G-spot is, the anatomy of it, and how to poke at it during IC, what I need to know is does this spot function eventually, or are there some people who just have an insensitive one?

I can find mine easily. If I push as hard as possible with my finger, I'll get a weird, faraway feeling like I may need to pee. That's it. No "changing" to pleasure. The one time my husband decided to try, I didn't know he was doing anything. Apparently he was stroking for awhile, but I honestly didn't know he even had his finger in there at all, I thought his hand was just laying against me. I was occupied with both my hands and my mouth at the time and just not paying attention, I suppose.

I had some extra time a few days ago so I dug up my G-spot attachment for one of my vibrators. Poked around until I got the pee feeling, then turned it on. After a few minutes I felt so little I pulled it back out, it had flipped over and was pointing down. This happened a few times -- I'd lose the pee feeling (sorry I know it sounds gross, it's just the only feeling I can identify) have to angle it sharply and find it had twisted around.

I stopped and masturbated the way I always do. After I came I tried again, but it felt the same as before, just more slippery!

My vagina normally hasn't much feeling -- I Kegel daily, but it just feels like a muscle to me. When I masturbate I never penetrate myself. Having something inside blunts my clitoral sensation and lessens the contractions. Still, I was hoping that if I did the right thing long enough it might wake up. Try again or is nothing going to happen, ever?

[pappyld04]

I don't know if you've read Mikayla's sex ed topics on this matter but that is always the first thing that gets pointed out on these matters. At the top of the page on the left side are 4 tabs, the 2nd from the left being the sex ed tab. There are many other articles there also. There are also many different G-spot posts in this forum area that may give more info still. The feeling that you describe is one that others have described also so you must be in the right area. You may need a more solid object to stop it from inverting like yours does. I seriously doubt that your dead in that area you just haven't figured out how to manipulate things in just the right way to get there. When you said that yours had turned over is it because it fits poorly on the vibe or is the vibe and all turning over? BTW, I think this is the first post I've seen from you so welcome to the forum also!

[Tyger]

The major question that I don't see an answer for, is that "Have you ever HAD a G-Spot orgasm?"

If you have in the past (which you can tell, it feels different, and many women "squirt" when they have one), you may be a little too dry, going thru menopause, not hitting the spot correctly, or something like that. But you weren't clear if you have ever done so. Nor have you said if you've ever had a "regular" orgasm?

You said that your vaginal area has never been overly sensitive? This is possible for many reasons as well. Although, I don't know your medical history or status. Many women need clit stimulation as WELL as G-Spot stimulation to have the G-O. Have you tried this?

Contrary to many men's beliefs, there ARE women out there that simply don't have G-Spot orgasms (due to under-developed nerves, scar tissue, damage during birthing, sexual abuse, accidents, or some other physical issue), or don't have the correct amount of nerve endings AT the G-Spot and are unable to have one.

I guess more info is needed before we can delve deeper, IMO.

[pappyld04]

Good insight there Tyger.

[lilpink]

According to my doc, I'm not in perimenopause yet. My testosterone is in the high end of the normal range, as are my other hormone levels. I'm afraid of menopause -- I've read lots of scary possibilities about what can happen to your sex drive and sensations, and since orgasm has always been really difficult for me (first one at age 31) I feel like my days may be numbered. Yeah, I know it doesn't work like that for all women or even most women, but most of us don't have to wait as long as I did to find out what all the fuss was about!

I have three kids, no damaging or traumatic births. IC is fun and all, but I've been having sex pretty regularly since I was 18 and I've never felt much during it, besides the emotional closeness and the cheering-him-on aspect.

I'm definitely not looking to have a G-spot orgasm at all, I just want to know if I have the capacity to feel pleasure there and not just pressure -- and I don't expect my husband to really participate, especially if it's going to take a long time. There wouldn't be much in it for him, after all! But -- if I can feel something there eventually, I feel like I only have a short time to find out before menopause catches up with me and I lose my chance.

I actually did squirt once -- but I had nothing inside at the time. I was masturbating under a set of weird conditions. I didn't really like it and felt very strange the rest of the day. Repeating that is not my goal either -- I just want to know if I have the capacity to make the having to pee feeling CHANGE to pleasure, like I've read about happening. If I could make that happen I would keep going and try to come eventually.

[froggystyle1977]

You may or may not be able to have a g-spot orgasm for some it just isn't possible, it never hurts to keep trying

but I don't think anyone here can give you the answers that you seek.

I am not sure about the menopause thing but every person is different, so while some may lose sensation others gain much more. You won't know what will happen until you yourself go through it.

For some G-spot just doesn't happen, it could be nerve endings, it could be scars from birth, there are many reasons It could also be that you feel you have never really enjoyed or had much sensation during intercourse so you mentally have blocked yourself from the enjoyment.

I am sure others may be able to give you much more insight then me, I hope things work out for you Good luck!!

[Tyger]

My first recommendation is to talk with your mother, if she is available, and see how she went thru menopause. Ask her what it was like for her. Or, if you have sisters that have gone thru it, Aunts on your Mother's side, and so on. Usually, but not always, women tend to follow their mother's side of the family, as far as these things go (in my experience). Then, if you're concerned, talk with your doctor and find out, judging by your hormone levels, what your doctor thinks you may go thru, and what course of action you can take to make it as easy as a transition as it can be. But, I wouldn't stress over something that you can't control & hasn't happened yet. I dread getting "older", but it's going to happen, so, I can't really worry about it, and waste the time I have now, right?

You have some good questions, but it sounds, to me, as if you're looking for someone here to say "Yes you CAN do it, without a doubt (have a g-spot orgasm)." Well darlin', I don't think anyone here will give you that sort of affirmation.

Like was said before, some women, for whatever reason, just CAN'T achieve the g-spot orgasm. However, you said you squirted once before, so this is a good sign. For me to have a G-spot orgasm, I also need clit stimulation to really let loose. I would suggest you try that.

Training your mind to let go, and allow pleasure to be OK is a big thing for some. If you've never had a lot of feeling down there, that is also something I would address with your GYN if I were you. Gyno's are there for you to ask questions about your feminine parts, not just to swab once a year down there! They are there for your sexual health and well being.

Try relaxing, and REALLY feeling the sensations down there, not just when you and your husband are intimate either. Having solo play is also part of that. Learning what turns you on, what feels good, and what doesn't. Then teaching your lover HOW to bring that out in you is also part of all that too.

Best wishes!

[lilpink]

Well -- I do because of Mikaylas's article, which actually calls it the Holy Grail in the title no less, and all the similiar ones I've read. "...for many women a G-Spot orgasm is the end-all, be-all of orgasms – the one that will make their sexual life complete..." According to her 85% of women can achieve it. I just want to be in the majority!

I've got closeness and intimacy all over the place, and it's great, I totally love it, couldn't live without it but those things have never made me come, and ever since that first fabulous O at age 31 I've been addicted, and I just haven't had enough yet. I don't want to overlook any possibilities I might still have, selfish as I know that sounds. Anyway, no matter how self-involved I sometimes get during the day by myself (I guess this is what happens when you work at home, heehee) it doesn't make me lose interest in having sex with my husband and showing him a good time, and I don't have any intention of asking him to do anything tedious to me with a toy for an hour.

Thanks for all your help, I truly appreciate your input, and as long as I have another hour and a half before the kids come home from school and my work for the day is done, I'm going to neglect my dirty laundry and bound up the stairs and have at it again.

[WinkAway]

Hello... I'm new here and this is my first post. I divorced under 2 yrs ago and honestly can't remember the last time I had an orgasm. I've been a bit of a nympho since the divorce and with all the men I've slept with, I haven't had an orgasm. I don't understand why I can't reach orgasm and it's starting to concern me.. any thoughts? advice?

Thanks

[froggystyle1977]

Hello... I'm new here and this is my first post. I divorced under 2 yrs ago and honestly can't remember the last time I had an orgasm. I've been a bit of a nympho since the divorce and with all the men I've slept with, I haven't had an orgasm. I don't understand why I can't reach orgasm and it's starting to concern me.. any thoughts? advice?

Thanks

It may be best for you to put this in "beginers ask your question here" I am sure it will get more attention as its own post

[cfhayback]

Alright, maybe a guy commenting on how to achieve a G-spot orgasm is bizarre, but I've had some (great) experience with the subject... so, here's my two cents.

It is sometimes the case that in the pursuit of something (the much acclaimed big G-O) one may forget the true goal... pleasure. G-spot orgasms, and female ejaculation are wonderful things, but getting to them should be enjoyable.

The first time I was with a woman who had G-spot orgasms (and squirted) was my first year of college. Freaked me out at first, but it was very hot, and boy, did we do a lot of bed linen laundering! It seemed that she had an extremely active G. It was far easier for her to achieve orgasm through penetration than with clitoral stimulation... exception to the rule, I suppose. But she showed me exactly how to use my fingers to get her there, and I would suck her clit as I "tickled" her G... and it was explosive... I would end up with a mouthful of ejaculate, and it was definitely NOT urine...

With all of the women I have subsequently spent extended amounts of time with, each has been able to reach a G-spot O. Maybe not the first time, but eventually...

The keys to reaching one (IMHO) are relaxation, patience and persistence. The articles on this site go into the hows and whys, so I won't, but I will just say two things... firstly, vibes may over stimulate you, especially if you you've never cum that way before... secondly, as for technique, if you want to get there on your own, the following method seems to do the job...

Lay on your back, possibly with a pillow/booster under your shoulders to prop you up... like reading a book in bed. Start to stimulate yourself in the way you're familiar, rubbling your clit, fingering, etc... You'll want to do this until you're pretty well aroused, and wet. I might even recommend bringing yourself close to orgasm. Then, using either your middle and ring fingers, in the "come hither" motion, pumping and massaging your spot, or a curved glass toy to rub the area. Using firm, but gentle (I know, seeming contradiction, but you'll know what I mean when you feel it) pressure, you'll want to use one hand to keep your G stimulated, and the other on your clit to keep yourself "going", on the edge of cumming. But you'll want to go easy on the clitoral stim, because that's an easier orgasm to reach.

If you're using your fingers, you'll probably feel your G swelling, filling with G-spot fluid... and you'll feel like you need to pee. Normal. If you relax, and allow the orgasm to come, it may come with the release of that fluid... and you'll squirt... or you might not, but holding back, tensing like you're holding in urine, can keep you from achieving your G-spot orgasm. Trust your body, relax, and let go. If you squirt, great, and if you don't that fluid will be recycled in your body, and released later with your urine.

Some have deduced that a woman's need to urinate after sex (c'mon, you know you always need to!) comes from the need to rid the body of this backed up fluid in her body.

Regardless... tensing up or holding back can keep you from orgasming, clitorally or by G. So, let go... and you should be able... But even if you don't have that G-spot O, HAVE FUN!!!!

Be Blissful

[synirr]

Why is it so often G-O's get set up like a 'holy grail' of women's sexuality? reminds me of the Griswald's trip to Wally World...you might FINALLY get there and then think: oh, it that it? Perhaps created intimacy is a more realistic and satisfying goal possibility?

Yes, thank you.

[thurisas]

On the other hand, trying to search for that G-spot O is a great way, if you're not too focused on it, to explore your body and learn more about what does and doesn't do it for you. Granted I'm not a woman but I would think that anything that feels sexually pleasurable is a worthwhile endeavor.

Thurisas.

[cfhayback]

Any way that you can cum, and feel great, should be explored...