Dominant Role & Dirty Talking

[Portia]

Hello everyone! I have been a long time fan of TooTimid and the forum but for the first time I've decided to actually start participating.

I do have something that I need some feedback on. My boyfriend and I have recently started experimenting with bondage, (we bought the beginner's restraint package that Mikayla recommended) and love it! We have had lots of fun, but its usually ME who is playing the sub role. However, my boyfriend would like me to try to play the more dominant role in the bedroom, and while I would like to, I have no idea where to start!!

I went shopping and bought a leather corset, stockings and a whole get-up which does a good job of putting me in an authoritative mood but I have no idea where to start. I'd like to use the hand and ankle restraints on him and experiment with some warming gels and such. I guess what really trips me up is that I cant seem to find out what to say to him while in the midst of all of this!

How do I go through the whole scenario and make it pleasurable for him? What can I say that will turn him on while he's tied up? For the guys that do like to be tied up, I'd also like to hear from you, when you're with somebody in this type of scenario, what really gets you going??

[ToyQueen]

I just want to welcome you to the forum.

[thurisas]

Just take control. You let HIM know what he Can and Can't do while you're in control. Any time he doesn't listen, be sure to punish him in some way shape or form or reward him when he gets it right. We had one night where my wife was the one tied up and I wouldn't release the restraint until she had a very vocal orgasm. I started with releasing one leg first, and then another, then the arms, and finally the blindfold but the stipulation was that she had a very powerful and loud orgasm. Fortunately I was there to help her along with those and she never had any back-steps where her hand or leg had to be rebound but I think you get the idea. Have fun with it, use your imagination, and explore his body to find out what really gets him going. Use that to your advantage in future sessions.

Thurisas.

[Mikayla1]

Many women have trouble getting into the DOM role in bed, because let's face it, history has put the woman at a subserviant level in the bedroom (even though we all know that the sub has the power!) I prefer the sub role - it is my heart's happiness - but I can do DOM very well.

To be a good DOM, you have to BE the part - mind and body. You have a good start with the outfit. Feeling sexy and knowing you LOOK sexy puts you in a power position already. He will want you - and you can dictate when and IF he can have you! It is fun to be a DOM, if you do it right.

Start by setting up your 'props' - get your bedroom (or play area) arranged with your restraints, candles, toys, ice cubes, silk stocking, etc. Get out what you are going to play with. Now, while most sex shouldn't be 'planned' per se, when you are in a DOM situation, some planning will do you well.

Get yourself all dressed to kill and look in the mirror - telling yourself how damn sexy you are. Then, go into the bedroom and before he can even touch you, and he will want to, you tell him "NO" - order him to strip down and stand in the center of the room, hands at sides. Once done, go around him - inspecting him - and get close to him as you can without touching. While standing in back of him, you say something like: "You are here to please ME, only ME. I will tell you what you can and can not do. You will address me as "Mistress" and I will call you (pick a name). If you are uncomfortable or want to stop, say the word (pick a safeword, like 'lighbulb'). You are not to touch me unless I tell you you can, you are not to do anything until I tell you you can. do you understand?"

This sets you up as the power structure, sets the rules, and establishes a safe word. Now, from here it is all up to you. I suggest starting by making him get on the floor under you and sitting there. Then, leave the room. Go into the bathroom or somewhere else and leave him there sitting....waiting....thinking. Then come back and start the show again.

Some suggestions that worked well for me were: Having him lick my boots, legs, thighs but NOT my vaginal area. No hands, just tongue. Having him lay underneath me as I take of my panties and watching me pleasure myself for a second then letting him lick me. Tying him to the bed with restraints and using a blindfold to make him wonder what you are doing. With him in that position you can order him to do anything you want.

The talking should consist of telling him what to do: "taste my pussy;" Lick my nipples;" "stick a finger in me" - basically, what you want him to do, you tell him to do. It doesn't have to be nasty talk, you can just ask him, 'what do you want to do to me' and if he doesn't answer correctly, you leave the room. It is all a power game - and you can have tons of fun with it!

Good Luck!

[Mikayla1]

[*intigued*] You have a 'collection' of whips? Me likey the whips.....

[pappyld04]

Welcome to the forum Portia! That is my daughter's name also!

[Mike_d]

I love Mikayla's suggestions! Portia, let us know how it goes! Women in a dominant role can be sexy, enjoy this and use it to get everything you want from him. If there has ever been something that piques your interest, now is the time to try it out, you have a captive audiance!!