Members Stillmore2learn Posted February 9, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 This is my first post (other than the introduction) and it is great to finally interact with everyone on the site!I'll make this brief, so as not to bore anyone. I met my wife about fifteen years ago. We were both rather young at the time, and she was still in college, having been raised in the conservative south. She was a virgin when we first met, however, I had been previously married for several years and was more experienced regarding sex. As our relationship grew, we became sexually active and, as you might imagine, we both rather enjoyed the experience of "discovering" each other. Despite her strong religious upbringing (I'm not knocking religion here but, as adults, we know how it can influence behavior), we had fantastic sex, and she was open to new things. On one occassion, we attempted anal sex but, both of us being unexperienced in that regard, it ended up causing her pain. Unfortunately, anal avenue was closed after that, and has been for the last fourteen or so years.After all this time, we still have what I would classify as pretty good sex, albeit generic at times. Usually, it consists solely of vaginal sex, but results in full satisfaction for both of us. I still, however, am interested in experiencing anal sex with her. During the last month or so, I have been getting signals that anal avenue might be opening again!A couple of months back, during one session, I brushed her anus with my finger and noticed a positive response. Over the course of the last few weeks, I have routinely been penetrating her anus with my finger shortly before her orgasms which, she says, enhances them. On a couple of occassions, she has actually asked me to do this, which I find very erotic and gladly do.Unfortunately, when we're not in the throws of passion, my wife finds this topic uncomfortable to talk about and will not communicate with me about it. I have shown her to some posts here in the forum, but she won't devote any time to reading about how this particular type of play has become enjoyable to others who initially were opposed to it. So, here's my question: can I get suggestions on how to continue down this path and further awaken my wife's new interest in this type of play? Ultimately, I'd like for us to engage in full anal intercourse and for her to experience an anal orgasm like those I read about. Yeah, I have a selfish motive too. Admittedly, I've never had anal sex and would love to experience it, with my wife. I want it to be a new pleasure, that we both enjoy.Thanks for reading! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted February 9, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 Keep in mind that its only been a couple of weeks as you said in your post. If she's been opposed to it for so long and is just not entertaining the idea then I think you might want to continue on as you are now for a time and let her start getting more used to the idea of anal as an option. In the mean time keep on doing what she lets you do during your playtime and if she says no, or stop, or whatever do not press the matter. Back off and get back into the comfort zone again. This will make her more comfortable with you.Remember when you do get to the point when this is going to happen that you have to take things very slow, let her have control if it helps her, and too much lube is almost enough.Thurisas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Deveninny Posted February 11, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 A couple of months back, during one session, I brushed her anus with my finger and noticed a positive response. Over the course of the last few weeks, I have routinely been penetrating her anus with my finger shortly before her orgasms which, she says, enhances them. On a couple of occassions, she has actually asked me to do this, which I find very erotic and gladly do. Well, well....it happens to be that I have also gone through this. As the woman I am with now has told me on many occasions, swallowing = yukky, anal = no way (painful). She was with her, now ex-husband for 28 yrs...since she was 16. They had 4 kids together and much to my suprise, when I brought up her comments on swallowing and anal...she stated, "he tried anal once and it hurt like hell." Then arose the discussion of swallowing...well, she has told her daughter..."I was with your dad and I never did that, it's yukky." To date...she not only enjoys and cums from anal but she also has learned the power of swallowing...and has told me not only does it turn her on to know that she's "completely" satisfying me, but it makes her feel closer to me in 2 short yrs than the entire 28 yrs she was with her ex. My thoughts on your situation; 1) Take your time, enjoy the "play" 2) Never push yourself onto her, neither physically nor emotionally. 3) Compliment her, while your down there...tell her she's hot and wet...and that it turns you on!! 4) Always, everytime...make sure she is "in a mood" for sexual relations, you'll be suprised what you get in return. Good luck, enjoy and most of all....have FUN!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted February 11, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 It sounds to me that your wife has "bedroom whore" syndrome. This is what I call those women who act one way during the throws of passion or when they are close to orgasm - the dirty talkers, the ones who ask for anal sex, the ones who are totally different during sex than outside of the bedroom.When you are playing with your wife during sex and penetrating her anus, she loves it cause she is in 'orgasm' mode. Then, after the fact, she is not wanting to discuss this because she is not in the 'open and experimenting' portion any longer.So, how do you remedy this? I say, get prepared for anal sex - get lots of lube, keep playing with her ass, give her lots of orgasms, then ask her while she is in 'bedroom mode' - and if she consents, then carefully initiate the whole act. Of course, remember if she is not into it, then do not pursue it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted February 11, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 As everyone has already said, encourage her to try alone with toys first. She might be able to let go of her inhibitions easier that way at first without the pressure of an audience. I guarantee it won't take her long to go from there to wanting DP and using 2 (those DP orgasms can be mindblowing!) at which point she will be more than ready for you. Good Luck and have fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stillmore2learn Posted February 12, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted February 12, 2008 Thanks to everyone for the advice. It's slow going, but it's fun nonetheless!Mikayla - I agree with your assessment. Sexual things and talk seem to be limited to the confines of the bed. Out of bed, we've got a household to run and more "important" things to be concerned about. It's difficult to communicate, sometimes.Thorsnymph - When I saw the toy you posted, I laughed. We have one...that sits and collects dust.Thanks again to all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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