Deveninny

Well, well....it happens to be that I have also gone through this. As the woman I am with now has told me on many occasions, swallowing = yukky, anal = no way (painful). She was with her, now ex-husband for 28 yrs...since she was 16. They had 4 kids together and much to my suprise, when I brought up her comments on swallowing and anal...she stated, "he tried anal once and it hurt like hell." Then arose the discussion of swallowing...well, she has told her daughter..."I was with your dad and I never did that, it's yukky." To date...she not only enjoys and cums from anal but she also has learned the power of swallowing...and has told me not only does it turn her on to know that she's "completely" satisfying me, but it makes her feel closer to me in 2 short yrs than the entire 28 yrs she was with her ex. My thoughts on your situation; 1) Take your time, enjoy the "play" 2) Never push yourself onto her, neither physically nor emotionally. 3) Compliment her, while your down there...tell her she's hot and wet...and that it turns you on!! 4) Always, everytime...make sure she is "in a mood" for sexual relations, you'll be suprised what you get in return. Good luck, enjoy and most of all....have FUN!!

I'm 44yrs old, 6'1" 220lbs. Being that I'm in the automotive field, I don't get much attention from the "other" sex. Although this combination of clothing has gotten my backside grabbed more than anything. OK, here goes the "unclothed" version....I kinda like the clothed version better personally.

Sexual intercourse and religion should not be brought up in the same breath..unless your screaming OH MY GOD.....LOL

Howard, I agree with the fact that if a man or woman doesn't get what they want at home...they will find it elsewhere. Also, I personally wouldn't date, be with, marry or what have you a woman who doesn't meet my expectations in and out of the bedroom. Why do you think, prostitution is the oldest profession....obviously men aren't getting what they need at home. So you go on thinking your man will stay faithful, I wish you all the luck in the world...and hopefully he will for your sake.

Sadly this seems to happen to many more women than men. I myself dealt with a situation that had nothing to do with surgery, but childbirth and some losses. My ex was very close to her father who passed away when she was 18 around the holidays. She was definitely affected each holiday by this and discussing it with her and her family did nothing to resolve her depression. While we were together, we started talking about children, yet I wasn't ready and neither was she...so I acquired a beautiful Akita puppy, a runt who had a "kennel accident" that cut all but a small (ball) of her tail off, or so we were told. This phenomenal puppy was groomed into a loving and playful part of our "family" that gave nothing but pure love and excitement. Just before the holidays, around the end of August, our 18 M.O. Akita became stricken with a torsed spleen and had to have emergency surgery. Upon that surgery, we found her to have poly-cycstic kidneys, a rare disease in canines, moreso found in felines. With this disease the Dr told us her life would be drastically shortened, as her kidneys would fail much sooner unless she was put on a strict diet. (not only was she put on that diet, but she was taken to Cornell University every 3 months for blood work and testing) 2 years after this ordeal had begun, we became pregnant...which as you all know does strange things to a woman's hormones. The whole pregnancy was strange to me, crying, temper tantrums and so on. Shortly after the birth of our son (July), our Akita became very ill as the Dr had stated she would. In October of 2000 we had to put her down, electing to do so at the home, in the company of our families. At that time it was the single most difficult thing I've ever personally done, but I wouldn't change a thing looking back on it today. I held my girl as she left our world...my gift to her. Within days, my ex became withdrawn, so withdrawn she refused to go to work, care for our son and even maintain her own cleanliness. So I made an appt for her through her GYN, who then prescribed Zoloft. She became semi-normal again, yet had a very carefree attitude on life. (paying bills late, almost getting us evicted, electricity was in fear of being shut off, yet the bank account was plenty in the black) One night, almost 2 years later... I came home to find the vacuum running in my 19 month old sons bedroom, where it apparently had been on for sometime, as the room was well into the 90 degree range. I flipped out....my compassion was lost with the fear of what if the vacuum had caused a fire and she slept through my son burning to death. I told her she needed to snap out of it and come back to the real world, where "WE" needed her. She said that she couldn't...come to find out, it had partially been the result of the Zoloft, causing her to disconnect. I explained to her that she should stop taking the Zoloft and if she didn't I would take our son and leave her. This brought about a significant change...or so I thought. She had cut down on the daily dosage, to half of the RX daily. Soon she went right back to her being withdrawn. Within 12 weeks, I did take our son and leave, yet making sure she was not going to be left alone I contacted her sister who moved in for a few weeks....which is all it took for her to realize that her being withdrawn was something that was not going to be accepted. Within 10 days she called me and asked if I would consider moving back in, which I did do and she agreed to stop taking Zoloft and seek other forms of help. The largest form of help\therapy was, quiet time. Just her and I, sitting there in the dark holding each other. We didn't say a word for weeks while the lights were off, yet I held her in my arms until we fell asleep. I hope you have faith in yourself and your wife, she needs to know you'll be there at all times...but then again she needs to know you think she's worth the effort....even if it means checking her in someplace to help her get her thoughts in order. I myself have been through a lot, yet nothing like this. I wish you the best with the upcoming holidays and you two will be in my prayers.

Flip the script....put yourself in the "unknowing persons" shoes....and mind. I'm willing to bet the sex feels so good because it's "dangerous, exciting, new and so on..." I'm not saying I've NEVER done it...but when it was done to me once, I have never done it since.

Unless it has a hook-like end or something like that...I can tell you there is no chance of it "pulling" it out of place. Although some women do have issues with the I.U.D. being expelled by vigorous sexual activity. If you've already had the I.U.D. in place for some time and have been sexually active...little or no chance of having issues with it. Although, if the end of the string (usually) a nylon type...isn't curled, a bare penis can and in my experience get's "pricked" by it from time to time.

The point you've all missed....she does masterbate. Some women do not. If she has needs that she's not sharing, that would be more of a concern. Why not approach her with; "Hey, I was looking around and stumbled upon some toys (with a smile)...why didn't you share them with me?" Or if she's to embarrassed to use them in front of you, come up with the same approach explaining you found them. Yet ask, "I found some toys.... would you mind if I experimented with you using them or would you please show me how to use them properly?" In either case, make it about her. She obviously shy to have had them in front of you... With that mindset, she will feel less embarrassed and much less "picked on" for it. For instance, my current SO and I use her toys together. She has inserted one in either her vagina or anus and had me in the other hole, just remember to use lotsa lube and condoms on the toy if you venture anally. The feeling I got was incredible...nothing like I've ever experienced before. Not only that...if she uses it clitoraly while your inside of her, you will definately feel her orgasm...that's postively the most incredible feeling I've ever felt. Best Wishes....

What I'm seeing in alot of posts is the fact that, "I", "Me" and "My" are being used alot. In many cases of LTR's using the phrases of "We" and "Us" help to keep it more than one sided. Sometimes after a long and trying day, we need to sit down and listen to each other...then discuss what "we" are going to do later on that evening, weekend or holiday. In your case, I will re-write the below quoted from you; I love sex with my husband, but more and more he just keeps talking and telling me what to do. I have been screwing this man since 1972, I do think that I know what I am doing. It has gotten to the point that I don't want to have sex anymore with him. He really kills the mood. I like dirty talk and really dirty talk with actions, but all he says is "suck it" "suck it", like I don't know "IT'S" there. He also rubs my clit until it is uncomfortable and I have to literally shove him away. By then I am mad and don't want anything to do with him. I have told him what I like and what I don't, I have also showed him. He seems to only hear me when we are having make-up sex. I know that he knows what excites me and what turns me off, but he keeps doing the latter. And lately I have noticed that he doesn't even want sex anymore. We are becoming room-mates instead of lovers. I feel really hurt and confused about all of this. Anyone have any suggestions or comment? Instead of saying these things in this manner....try it this way; We loved sex and we've been doing it for 35 years, until lately you begun to "coach" me, which kills the mood. It has gotten to the point that this has changed the sex between us. The mood changes when you state over and over, "suck it - suck it" which becomes annoying to hear over and over. When you manually stimulate the clitoral area, you press instead of lightly stoke or carress which becomes overly sensitive and the moment is lost. Telling you over and over what brings about an orgasm is getting kind of frustrating as you don't appear to be understanding to those needs. Lately it appears you've lost your desire for sexual encounters, feeling more like a roomate to you. It's very concerning, is there a problem with "us" that should be discussed? The fact that intimacy is lost does deeply affect our relationship and how we talk. See by taking "me, "my, and "I" out of a conversation and learning to speak with an open mind & heart changes the way it's perceived by another person. Make it an "US" issue....clearly!! I know my ex of 13 yrs couldn't find a way to talk about us.... so after many talks and quite a few yrs, we ended our relationship. The new relationship is very different, as we've started out not using me, my and I. It's a "Us" thing, unless it has to do with something specific like her children, automobile or job and so on. When it comes to her and I, everything that happens throughout the day is listened to and understood, if not....we don't even venture to the bedroom. My .02, Keith D

That being the case with dogs and cats, that would mean only Collies should only be bred with Collies...and so on. That statement makes no sense to me. So your saying a Italian man should not be with a French woman....really? Colors are adapted to certain cultures and geographics. A white person is much more likely to burn and have serious skin issues in Africa and a African person has a definate disadvantage to the climates of the North-Eastern US. Keith

Toys? Have any? Using them during foreplay "warms ya up." I find that starting foreplay hours before my S.O. and I begin the act (whispering in her ear, touching her softly\sensually... she usually quite lubed up and already thinking alot about "her" orgasm. Keith

Hmmm, your attracted to people with lesser IQ's? Odd, but yet it's your preference, as mine is a smaller built woman. As far as someone that is heavier that I would date, take for instance people you graduated with. Quite a few of the people I graduated with became overweight, sadly they were as you stated "active" and had become quite sedentary. Although I'm not one to tell you or anyone who has a weight issue what to do or how to do it. I at one time weighed 250lbs when my sons mom was pregnant, something about gaining weight with her throughout her pregnancy. With my sons birth, I began a strict diet and became much more physically active again. I never said it was easy to lose the weight, but your right....it's my choice to lose the weight. With the way this topic has progressed with my input, I'm going to bow out and leave ya'll to the original post. Keith

Mikayla, my personal preference is a woman whom takes care of herself. Being pregnant does not make you obese...lol. Yes, I find many women of different sizes beautiful...yet an obese woman shows me she has either a medical issue or she does not know how to be calorie restrictive. As a man in his forties, I too have gained weight and have more that I feel I should around my middle section, yet I am no where near obese. I do maintain a healthy diet, not as strict as I should of course. Here's a link to an articleCosmos, I hope you all read this and understand the medical impacts being "over-weight" has on your body. Yes some people are larger boned and can carry more weight...but is it heart-healthy?? Here's me now.... Here's a photo of me at 26 yrs old So no, I'm not perfect...yet I know what's "healthy" and what isn't.... PS; My S.O. is a size 9, weighing in at 150lbs and 5'6" tall, less than 10% body fat and does not work out, just eats correctly. By that I mean, easy on the breads and pastas. Wheat can be our friend, meats can also...just eating "smart" is a good decision. Keith

Sam, I too tried to reconcile with my sons mother. She had changed to the extreme of having me "shave" her...which I didn't mind, yet found it erotic...whereas she found it relaxing...and usually fell asleep. I tried talking to her about the exact same things you had...appearance, cleanliness and so on. I moved out when my son was 3 yrs old...I just couldn't take it. I moved back in to support her, as she was not able to pay the bills on a single income. I told her upon moving back in, I would require the couch to be me bed. I would not treat her as I had in the past. We lived for 2.5 yrs as room-mates...until I met my current S.O. After dating my current for 7 months, I found it unbearable to live there with her selfishness. I moved out...and all the while still feel a tiny bit of guilt, for my sons sake only. I miss him terribly, yet I see him everyday and usually every other weekend. Simply not being there when he wakes up in the morning and putting him in bed, kills me. Yet I have found a woman who brought so much into my life...I would never abandon her. As for your situation, try dating the "other" woman again...but without any LTR expectations. That way your heart will remain guarded and she will eventually either prove herself to be worthy of your love or not. Just my 2 cents... Keith

I myself find all women beautiful...with the exception of the obese women. Yet there are some obese women who are beautiful as well...I would never be physically attracted though. Obese people need to understand...it's not the weight issue for me, it's your health. Keith D